Best Man Speech

Re: Best Man Speech

• mbcdefg member

  

  August 2012

  There's really nothing you can do about it.

  
  First off, you can't control what someone else says, especially when the thing they're saying is a speech in your honor. Second, if your FI chooses to be friends with this guy and you're choosing to trust your FI's taste in friends, then you just have to have faith that he'll do the right thing in the end.

  
  Yes, I've heard an extremely tasteless best man joke. Little Brother gave a toast at Big Brother's wedding basically saying that the new Mrs. Big Brother put out on the first date. Awkward. People just kind of laughed uncomfortably and then got over it, and it certainly wasn't a reflection on anyone other than Little Brother. I haven't heard it mentioned since. Nobody will possibly hold it against you and your FI if your best man winds up saying something crude, which I'm betting he won't. Big Brother was LB's best man a few years later and we were all kind of expecting a revenge speech, but BB's speech was very classy and touching.

  
  Worst comes to worst, work out a signal with your DJ (pull on your veil or drink from your water glass or something) to cut the Best Man's mic and move on to the Maid of Honor's toast if things REALLY get out of hand ... and I'm talking, like, racial slurs or really intimate sex details, not just a story about the time you fell off a bike after one too many beers, know what I mean? Have faith in him, try to be a good sport, and remember that you can only control your own actions/reactions, not anyone else's actions.

  

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• Pinkstarshine1 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:09cf62ac-2bed-43c4-8832-2551a03d2980Post:39048310-5560-4cfb-a88f-a06e7f7accf0">Re: Best Man Speech</a>:
  [QUOTE]There's really nothing you can do about it. First off, you can't control what someone else says, especially when the thing they're saying is a speech in your honor. Second, if your FI chooses to be friends with this guy and you're choosing to trust your FI's taste in friends, then you just have to have faith that he'll do the right thing in the end. Yes, I've heard an extremely tasteless best man joke. Little Brother gave a toast at Big Brother's wedding basically saying that the new Mrs. Big Brother put out on the first date. Awkward. People just kind of laughed uncomfortably and then got over it, and it certainly wasn't a reflection on anyone other than Little Brother. I haven't heard it mentioned since. Nobody will possibly hold it against you and your FI if your best man winds up saying something crude, which I'm betting he won't. Big Brother was LB's best man a few years later and we were all kind of expecting a revenge speech, but BB's speech was very classy and touching. Worst comes to worst, work out a signal with your DJ (pull on your veil or drink from your water glass or something) to cut the Best Man's mic and move on to the Maid of Honor's toast if things REALLY get out of hand ... and I'm talking, like, racial slurs or really intimate sex details, not just a story about the time you fell off a bike after one too many beers, know what I mean? Have faith in him, try to be a good sport, and remember that you can only control your own actions/reactions, not anyone else's actions.
  Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Yeah, the best man is a genuinely nice guy and I do trust my FI.  There is no reason for me to question his taste in friends because this guy is not a bad guy at all...he's just immature sometimes and doesn't always think about 'there's a time and a place'.  I probably am worrying a little bit too much, though.  But thanks for the tip on the 'out' if things get really bad, lol.  And the things you mentioned as being considered really bad are pretty much in line with what I would consider really bad.  

  

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  August 2012

  You yourself have (exhaustively) listed all of the reasons why there's nothing you can do and why you shouldn't be worrying.  So why are you still thinking about this?

  
  

  It sounds like you need to step away from wedding planning entirely for a little while if you're getting stuck running in these mental circles about nothing.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• Girlie1030 member

  

  August 2012

  My BIL was best man and he told H that he planned to start his speech off with a shout-out to their dad whose nickname is DMFluckin3, which he planned to use.  He did not do that shout out and his speech was actually very touching. 

  

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• Pinkstarshine1 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:09cf62ac-2bed-43c4-8832-2551a03d2980Post:3ceff9a1-162c-4184-b37f-c87cd2e9c489">Re: Best Man Speech</a>:
  [QUOTE]You yourself have (exhaustively) listed all of the reasons why there's nothing you can do and why you shouldn't be worrying.  So why are you still thinking about this? It sounds like you need to step away from wedding planning entirely for a little while if you're getting stuck running in these mental circles about nothing.
  Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
  
  Yes, things have been a little more busy with planning and getting stuff done since it is getting a little closer to it.  So maybe that's making me a little worried about smaller things.  Stepping back for a little bit while I have a chance might be good.

  

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• Pinkstarshine1 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:09cf62ac-2bed-43c4-8832-2551a03d2980Post:443e2667-134e-4d50-ac58-497fae3e1f71">Re: Best Man Speech</a>:
  [QUOTE]My BIL was best man and he told H that he planned to start his speech off with a shout-out to their dad whose nickname is DMFluckin3, which he planned to use.  He did not do that shout out and his speech was actually very touching. 
  Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Yeah, so far, from what people have responded with for the most part...it seems as though peoples' speeches wound up being really nice.  Maybe it will be the same for us, lol. 

  

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• Pinkstarshine1 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:09cf62ac-2bed-43c4-8832-2551a03d2980Post:158925bb-89ae-48d9-98c8-4adfa02d68d0">Re: Best Man Speech</a>:
  [QUOTE]Not gonna lie, I was terrified of the BM's speech.  The first time I met him, he walked in on DH and I having sex.  The second time I met him, I was walking into a party with 30 people I had never met and he yelled from across the room "Stage!  I almost didn't recognize you without DH rockin' on top of ya!" He ended up giving a lovely and touching speech, that was funny but not inappropriately so at all. 
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  Lol, damn...he sounds a lot like my FI's best man.  Nice guy, but you just sometimes aren't sure what's going to come out of his mouth.  But since your situation seems so similar to mine, that makes me a lot more confident that everything will be all good, lol.  As far as the speech goes, funny is good...to me, that's the best way to go.  It is good to know that he could make it funny, but not completely inappropriate at the same time!

  

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• Pinkstarshine1 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-speech?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:09cf62ac-2bed-43c4-8832-2551a03d2980Post:82807708-6e18-4a4e-9a1c-863a066b5bb4">Re: Best Man Speech</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man Speech : Yeah, there were a few times, i thought he might be about to launch into an embarrassing story that would go badly, but he never did.  You'd be surprised how many people really do know how to curb their "enthusiasm" at a wedding.  I'm betting you'll be fine too.  :)
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  
  
  Sweet! That makes me feel so much better! Thank you!

  

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