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Engagement retreat help?

Hedgy22Hedgy22 member
10 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
I feel absolutely terrible asking this question, but I ask for everyones understanding.

Several things have fallen through to be able to go on this retreat, and it's rather long and I'd rather not explain, but long story short, we have one available that we are able to attend, and now it's going to be a bit difficult trying to get to that one as well.

My question is, is it absolutely required to go on this retreat? Even if it's optional, we still are trying to get this retreat, but luck has not been with us.

Can you get married if you don't go on this retreat? Could an exception ever been made? Is it possible that good FOCCUS scores could be taken into consideration? (I realized that it's a communication instrument, but if you have a "good score" on it, there really isn't a ton to talk about...) or has a priest ever said you can't get married if you don't do it? Help is greatly appreciated. We are trying our hardest to be able to make it. 

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Re: Engagement retreat help?

  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    It's completely different with different churches. Some require it and some don't. All you can do is talk to your priest, and hope that he is understanding. Good luck!
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  • Hedgy22Hedgy22 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your help! It's hard to talk to the priest that is officiating our ceremony since he is the pastor of the church and has quite a lot on his plate, so I'm really hoping we can get ahold of him before the deadline to sign up, but if not I was just hoping that we might not be totally out of luck. 

    He's actually pretty understand and pretty relaxed about things so I'm really hoping if it just so happens we can't make it to this one he'll say it's fine. >.<
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  • saritaksaritak
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our marriage prep guidelines are set by our area Diocese, not our individual parish or priest. I'm not sure if this is the same everywhere, but if you're having trouble getting ahold of your priest, maybe you can contact your Diocese and they can help you out. Good luck! 
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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It depends on the diocese. Our diocese requires that you do something like this - we had to go to a remarriage seminar - but you'd want to contact your diocese to find out.

    Linda
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  • Hedgy22Hedgy22 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you guys so much. I haven't seen anywhere where it says it's specifically required, so it looks like I'm going to have to contact the diocese, which might be a pain...maybe my parish can let me know anyways...I'm sure they would know. 

    It's been so stressful trying to get this done. Thank you guys so much :)
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  • ellen73ellen73
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We were given the option of a day or a weekend...   and out of three diocese (I lived in one, DH lived in another, and we got married in yet a third)... there was ONE day that we could attend.  Seriously.  We had a short engagement (7 months) and lots of family obligations & work obligations.  Try getting a hold of your priest- maybe there is something you can do in a neighboring diocese?

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  • tammythetigertammythetiger
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We listerally just finished the retreat today.  For us, we were given the option of the engaged encounter retreat or a one day Pre-Cana at a local church.  The only date that worked well was the weekend retreat and I'm not going to lie, I found it very useful. Some people find all the requirements of a Catholic church to be too much but both my FI and I talked about how helpful all of it has been.  Since the retreat and other sessions we've had to do have probed certain questions at us, they've rally guided us to think about some very important issues.  The weekend retreat can be a little long but the activities really allowed my fiance and I to open up to each other and discuss the issues at hand. If you can make it, you may find it worth your time.  Of course, you have to be open to it because what you put in will be what you get out. 
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi Hedgy -
    Please do contact the MSP Archdiocese (I'm assuming that's where you're marrying?)  It is very unclear on their webpage (http://www.archspm.org/departments/marriage/marriage-preparation.php) as to whether they require it, but one phone call will clear that up easily!
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  • stardreamer1223stardreamer1223
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It was a requirement for us to get married in our church. To be honest, we weren't really that excited about doing it. FI and I have been together for 11 years, what else could be possibly learn about each other? What's funny is we didn't really learn anything new, but what it did do was Reconnect us. We got all of those butterflies again. It was really wonderful being able to spend that time together with eachother and no distractions from the outside world.
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  • Hedgy22Hedgy22 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If anyone wants an update...we got the retreat thing figured out. Well we were at least able to get the slip in, now we are just waiting for email confirmation. Or a letter, or whatever they send. Haha I'm pretty sure it's an email but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed!
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