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manzanaflower · September 2011

hi everyone!

I'm A.J. I am new to the board, so I'm taking this chance to introduce myself!

We are getting married at the J.O.P next month and can't wait! We are also planning a vow renewal/reception to folllow next year for our huge families.

Any advice of the subject would be much appricitaed, you all seem like experts

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

Hi there and welcome to the board! Are you in the military? Fiancé? What branch?

manzanaflower · September 2011

My fiance will be in the army. He leaves for BCT in November

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Welcome to the Board!!! Congrats on your Engagement, & upcoming wedding!

manzanaflower · September 2011

thanks!

Rethany · September 2011

Congrats and welcome!

Irishcurls · September 2011

Congrats and welcome!

kara811 · September 2011

Hello and Welcome!!!

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

A.J.- Tell us more about yourself and your wedding!

crownsuperstar · September 2011

Congrats and welcome!

Beachy730 · September 2011

Hi and welcome!

Do you have any pets?

ggirl2001 · September 2011

Congrats and Welcome!

Ditto Hike, tell us about yourself!

KendallR10 · September 2011

WELCOME!!! I'm also an Army fiance!!

Whats your favorite color?

manzanaflower · September 2011

Lets see, my name is A.J. (of course) my future solider and I have been engaged for over a year. I am 22, and he will be 23 next week. We have known each other since we were sixteen.

We will be getting married on Oct.11, with a small group of close family at the county chapel. I'm so excited.

Our vow renewal will be about 100 ppl (that is if my mom and fmil don't get out of hand lol) the theme I want is garden, green with pink accents. My family want this to be my "princess moment" .

We don't have many details set in stone, mostly because we were waiting to see when he would be off to bct and ait. now that I know when he will be possibly coming back (he wants to sign up for hrap) we can set a figurtive date and start planning. I will probably be on this board alot to see how you all do it!

Beachy730 · September 2011

I definitely recommend waiting until he gets to his first duty station before picking a date.

manzanaflower · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-board-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:64a9cf62-00b8-4e3a-9628-5bb66b600d2bPost:b68f5b77-e00f-45fd-b5de-43ebbb0d21fa">Re: new to board</a>:
[QUOTE]I definitely recommend waiting until he gets to his first duty station before picking a date.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>How long should we wait for him to get settled? Is it looked down upon taking leave so early in his career??</div>

Beachy730 · September 2011

I mean more for the fact that you never know what his schedule will be like once he gets to his duty station. H and I did our PCS last September, and he was deployed about 6 weeks after we got here. Sometimes it can be even sooner than that. If you wait until he gets to his duty station you can get a better idea of the schedule he'll have and when will be a good time to take leave.

The other option is to try and plan it for immediately after he graduates, but that can be stressful and busy. Just things to keep in mind.

manzanaflower · September 2011

Thanks for the advice!

Our orginal plan was to plan for after he graduates ait since he wants to do hrap and would be home for 2 weeks, we could have it that weekend when he gets back or something. But nothings set in stone and we have already discussed military clauses just so I can deposits back if anything should change.

a question i have is if his ait school is 16 weeks, and everything goes according to plan (no screw ups or changes) is graduation right after the last day or a week away etc

Beachy730 · September 2011

I'm a Navy wife, so I'm not really familiar with that and someone else could probably answer.

Alaynasmyheart · September 2011

i'm in the army as well as marrying someone in the army...

i wouldn't plan for his HRAP....only for the fact that 1) its stressed and rushed and 2) it's not a for sure unless he gets it in his contract when he signs up (before he even leaves) and 3) even if it gets approved it can be denied later.

My sister just went through that in july, one min she was approved, the next day she wasn't and had to resubmit, and so on. thankfully she got it!

also, i'd wait until you know where you're going. my brother graduated april, went to ft hood for about 6-7 weeks and is now overseas....so had he even TRIED to take leave they would have denied it as he had to train up to go over....he almost didn't get HRAP either since he had to catch up to his unit.....

manzanaflower · September 2011

ugh! thats bad news

how did you all plan for this then?? I'm just doing what was recommended by one of the recruiters, but sounds like he was wrong. And my FI really wants this for his family.

Maybe he can get a pass inbetween ait grad and pcsing...I'm not sure if that can happen, I'm new to all of this

Beachy730 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-board-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:64a9cf62-00b8-4e3a-9628-5bb66b600d2bPost:9c6fed7f-9574-418d-a043-52dcc4958793">Re: new to board</a>:
[QUOTE]ugh! thats bad news how did you all plan for this then?? I'm just doing what was recommended by one of the recruiters, but sounds like he was wrong. And my FI really wants this for his family. Maybe he can get a pass inbetween ait grad and pcsing...I'm not sure if that can happen, I'm new to all of this
Posted by manzanaflower[/QUOTE]

<div>We did our wedding while still on shore duty, before going back to sea duty and being deployable. </div><div>
</div><div>This is just my opinion, but there is no way I would be going through all the stress of trying to pick a date and plan in such a small window with big possibility of changing if it was just for a PPD. You're already planning on getting married via the JOP, so why not just hold off on the PPD for another year or so when there will be more understanding of the schedule and availability? </div>

manzanaflower · September 2011

Actually thats what we are going to talk about with our parents. They are the ones that are pshing for it so soon. My FI just wants to have it before we start our family, so I'm not more stressed out.

We were aiming to have it around our one year marriage anniversary if he isn't deployed

Beachy730 · September 2011

Is there any way to just do a small dinner reception after your JOP to make them happy? You could wear a white dress and do a dinner after with cake and dancing. The only thing I can tell you is that a lot of military couples plan on doing what you're doing, and just never get around to doing the vow renewal after because life happens and there isn't time. But if it's important to your families maybe you can find a compromise somewhere, whether it's doing something smaller now, or bigger but waiting.

manzanaflower · September 2011

Unfortunaely due to so much crap, we won't be able to throw a small recception. Instead I am wearing my tea lenghth white dress to the job and we will have dinner and cupcakes at a local resturant with just our parents, grandparents, and siblings.

I feel that our wedding wasn't on anyones priority list, because we have gotten huffs and puffs from our age and him wanting to go to the army. His mom even through a mini tantrum to me about the mos he chose (he will be a medic).

Hopefully we get around to it, because its something he really wants. I feel like he dreams about it more than I do (I have nightmares instead lol)

SamiJoeB · September 2011

My advice would be to let him get settled into his first duty station. Once he's there, he'll find out their deployment schedule/rotation. He could get orders to a unit thats already deployed, so he may leave right away, or orders to a unit that is gearing up for a deployment.. Also, if possible, plan your VR close to a holiday. That way, leave is more likely to get approved. My H and I were both AD when we got married, I'm a civilian now, and we planned for the week before Christmas. We were both able to get leave without any problems.

Also, depending on the CoC it can be looked down on to request leave early into a new command. I remember people checking into my command and like the first day asking to request leave for a wedding, there was lots of eye rolling, bad marks on evals, and snide remarks.. HTH!

manzanaflower · September 2011

you all are right, I think we will wait and see what happens at his first duty station. Plus it won't feel like such a rush. Also great idea about planning around a holiday, never really gave that a thought.

Alaynasmyheart · September 2011

i'm getting married in 3 weeks...after being together for 4 years, have a 3 yr old daughter, and 2 step kids....we bought a car, had a kid, and bought a house in that order and only NOW getting around to getting married. We're both AD with the National Guard so we are stationed in our home state....my both my brother AND sister went and signed up for the army after I picked my wedding date...like i said, my brother's overseas and will only be able to skype with me before the wedding, but we'll at least have pictures of that, and my sister BARELY got leave since she just got to her duty station that in aug....

GOOD LUCK! PM me if you have any questions or comments, i'm not sure i check this bored enough.

prettyirishgirl · September 2011

Welcome to the board. and congrats on everything!

Like other have been saying the best bet is to wait until you get to your station and are settled. I'm in a similar boat. We decided (for the moment depending on how many buttons people push) not to do a JOP because a church wedding is important to me personally so we are trying to hold off. That means waiting until FI is done with his flight program stuff. It will be 2 years before he is done with all that and stationed somewhere for 6 months or so. He is determined to wait until he is at his next duty station for at least 5 months.

He is planning on requesting leave and or figuring out when he can take it once he finds out where he is getting sent. Yet with deployments and training sched. he doesn't want to ask for it immediately upon arriving (he thinks it is rude and a bad way to start off) and that was the mark he gave. It means we have to wait a while to have the wedding we want, but it gives us time to plan and know that more family wil be able to be present (he has family thats military that will be retrieved by then). It is annoying to wait that long, but we felt it was the best choice for us.It also gives us a time window that will hopefully mean minimal to no changes if we know exactly what we want and just dont book until we are fairly sure we wont have to move the date. There is no such thing as knowing we wont have to move it and thats why we will put in military clauses, but hopefully it will make things run more smoothly.

So i'm not in the exact same boat but pretty close so if you have and questions vents etc. feel free to send a PM. Good Luck!!

manzanaflower · September 2011

thanks everyone for replying to me!!!

I am kinda frustrated because you ladies gave me some great advice, but FI wants to go ahead and do it after AIT because his recruiter and the Future soilder center on facebook, said that most soilders will be applying for leave right after AIT and that it would be okay to do that. I know he's going to apply for leave to help me move, but he wants to hold the wedding then too.

Plus I feel bad going around in circles. I just want to start planning something already. Even if its just getting everything ready to go for when the chance comes.

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