Young love

Re: Young love

• HobokensFury member

  

  December 2012

  Sorry but no one is going to advise a 17 year old to get married.  Be together and enjoy your lives as you grow up together.

   
   

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• agu101 member

  

  December 2012

  If I married the person I was dating when I was 17 I'd be miserable today.  Do yourselves a favor and take your time to grow up and experience life.  Go away to college, meet new people, and have new experiences away from home and your families.  If you two are truly meant to be together, then waiting a few years shouldn't be an issue.  

  P.S. Not a single one of my friends from high school married the person they dated in HS.  They all dated long term and thought they were so in love as well.  Then college came and that was it.

  

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• dp867 member

  

  December 2012

  I would suggest asking yourself what are you hoping to achieve by getting married now. If you are committed to each other, why not wait until your parents will be supportive of your choice?
  
  I think its important to remember that marriage is a legal decision. You don't want to make a legal decision for an emotional reason. It much harder to divorce than break up. Maybe that's what you like about it, but it can easily backfire.
  
  Finally, I have two friends who married the person they dated in high school, but they married many years later, and I don't think they regreted the decision to wait one bit.

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• [Deleted User]

  

  December 2012

  Why is it so important to do it now? Seriously. Unless there is something pressing you to do it immediately, it is no less committed to wait, stay with each other, and hold out until your parents do support you and you have the sort of money to have whatever sort of wedding you want. If you rush into something, you might not only regret it if it doesn't work, but you might regret it if it works but you didn't have any of the people you loved there with you, even in spirit, on your day.
  
  So, really, is there a reason besides "we love each other and want to do it now"? If you love someone, you can wait. My FI met and fell in love very quickly - but he was moving to California and I was moving to Ireland. So we waited. Then we waited more once we were in the same physical place while we got settled. And waited more while we realized we hated where we were and needed to change. Then waited again while we got settled...again. And, you know what, our commitment to each other was NO less, and our wait has been 100% worth it. I'd strongly recommend waiting not only until you're a little older but until your loved ones can be on board with you.

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• dalm0m member

  

  December 2012 edited December 2012

  While it is possible to have a good marriage based on love, it's much easier to have one if you have some financial stability behind you.  Where would you live?  IT's very difficult to find safe housing in NJ for under $1,000 per month.  You also have to factor in car insurance (at least another $1,000 for the 2 of you), health insureance (don't get me started on how much that costs) and I imagine you'd like to eat & wear clothes.  Then there are the monthly bills:  lights, phones, heat, gas etc.  Where are you going to get the money to live?  Until you answer that question honestly, you have no business getting married.
  
  If this is true love & it is meant to be forever, wait.  Stay together.  Love each other.  Save your money!  Finish your education / start your careeer & then get married.  Statistics say that the older you are when you get married, the more likely you are to stay married.  More marraiges end over financial drama then any other reason.  Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but those are few & far between. 
  
  Getting married -- all the planning & the drama is stressful enough -- being married can be tough.  There will be temptations that you haven't faced yet.  The world changes when you turn 21 & can go out to the bars & party.  If you have never done that, it will change the dynamic of your relationship once the 1st person is old enough to do that.  It will bring unexpected drama & insecurity.  plus wouldn't it be nice to have a legal glass of champage at your own toast?
  
  Finally if you are getting married against your parents' wishes that will add even more stress & give you fewer support options. 
  
  Please before you do this, think with your head, not just your hearts.  It will help your relationship in the long run. 

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