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jaschelle · May 2012

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CvilleClaire · May 2012

I do a lot of writing and I think authenticity in language is important. Would you ever say "long were the days" in real life? If that is your vernacular, then use it. However, if this is what you think you ought to say vs what you really think in your head, I would rewrite with candor. I'm on my phone, so I can't reference you post as I write, but another phrase that stuck out to me was about the "purity" of you love. It's an odd term and it sort of sounds like fluff. Can love be described on a spectrum of purity? Is some love impure? It sounds like the stuff of grocery store romance novels. I'm sure it'll all sound lovely, but anyone listening carefully might be puzzled by some of the phrases that seem there for drama alone.

L&J2012 · May 2012

This is just my opinion, but I think they're way too long. If your FI's are even longer, your guests may start getting bored. My recommendation would be to cut it down a bit (I think the rule of thumb is a minute max per person). You could always put most of the fluff into a letter that you can give him with his wedding gift after the ceremony?

But, if you are in love with this, then go for it.

DrPB2b13 · May 2012

I agree that they seem a little long, and there are a few sentences that seem really redundant. For instance, you mention your unique love a couple of times, and your mention of "every time I say I love you..." really can be condensed down to one sentence instead of two.

Also, I'm sure your font is lovely for you, but on this end it's rather hard to read. I know the text editors here just kind of adapt to what you paste in, but changing it to something easier on the eyes before you post it here would be appreciated, and would probably get you more feedback.

kelsey+brandon · May 2012

I honestly think I would feel uncomfortable to be in the congregation with someone saying those vows. It's a little over the top mushy gushy and like Jeannine said, I think it lacks authenticity.

Danidawn20 · May 2012

Honestly, as a guest I would feel uncomfertable with the mushy, gushy of it all, and I feel they are a little long.

kristin183 · May 2012

I agree, they seem a little long.
We are writing out own vows too.I know it can be hard because there are so many things you want to say. Maybe some of the overly mushy gushy stuff could be saved for a letter you give your FI on the day of. That way you still get to express it but it doesn't seem over the top at your wedding.

daria24 · May 2012

I agree they are long. Something you might want to consider is how emotional you will be, and if it's going to be difficult to get through the whole thing. The most important thing about vows is that they be in your voice and they are from the heart. I wouldn't worry about making the wording fancy, it will just make them harder to say the day of.

micmarste · May 2012

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but if I were a guest at a wedding during which a bride recited these vows I would be doing some major eye-rolling. I agree with previous posts that this doesn't seem very authentic and it is quite long. I doubt this is how you talk in day-to-day conversations with FI. Your vows will be far more touching to FI and your guests if you speak from the heart, using your real, every day language.

Jessimb0587 · May 2012

IMHO, I would use only the last two paragraphs as your vows.

I love the idea of writing notes to eachother with all of the "gushy" stuff that you can read to eachother before the wedding, or that you can just exchange.

Melissa603 · May 2012

They get too cheesy with tue "long were the days" I would definitely be eye rolling

peachykeen26 · May 2012

I really couldn't read them all. Honestly we just talked about vows in church. This sounds like a bunch of fluff. I would re-write them in your everyday language, and let's face it, you don't talk like your vows are written.

Try less.

melntaitt · May 2012

One recommendation I would like to make is defining your promises. What promises will you be making to your FI on your wedding day?

Try approaching them from a more personal place instead of a Shakespeare manner; what you have written so far is a poem of sorts describing your feelings for your FI and the part of your life that has already been written. Your vows are an opportunity to make promises to your husband that nobody else can.

I would scrap them and start on something less poetic, more meaningful and possibly shorter.

Megbo2012 · May 2012

Too many lists and long sentences. It also makes you seem like you used a thesaurus on every other word, and I think that makes it lose the meaning.

Megbo2012 · May 2012

I'm also wondering why you basically had 3 negative options and only one positive one that was SUPER POSITIVE! If you thought they were amazing why would you post three negative options? That just seems weird to me.

Danidawn20 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_opinions-on-briesmaid-stance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8fc7e1cf-9bcc-46d5-9aec-6fb6b661b963Post:357ef67a-8565-4d81-938e-6686bb956bae">Re: Opinion on Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm also wondering why you basically had 3 negative options and only one positive one that was SUPER POSITIVE! If you thought they were amazing why would you post three negative options? That just seems weird to me.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
Me too

Hulkster2012 · May 2012

Those are horrible - it sounds like made-for-tv-movie

MMRoberts11 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_opinions-on-briesmaid-stance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8fc7e1cf-9bcc-46d5-9aec-6fb6b661b963Post:357ef67a-8565-4d81-938e-6686bb956bae">Re: Opinion on Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm also wondering why you basically had 3 negative options and only one positive one that was SUPER POSITIVE! If you thought they were amazing why would you post three negative options? That just seems weird to me.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

I was wondering this too.

Booya69 · May 2012

is this for real is this a play wedding? stick to the traditional vows. ps, aren't these a bit person to be sharing with a bunch of strangers?

megbo2013 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_opinions-on-briesmaid-stance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8fc7e1cf-9bcc-46d5-9aec-6fb6b661b963Post:ca29a5a0-9a0b-432e-ac4b-3b6a794af4e6">Re: Opinion on Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]is this for real is this a play wedding? stick to the traditional vows. ps, aren't these a bit person to be sharing with a bunch of strangers?
Posted by Booya69[/QUOTE]

<font face="Verdana" size="4">Your verbosity is exceeded only by your total stupidity.</font>

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