Cash bar

onelatindiver · May 2012

I know it may be tacky to have a cash bar, but we just can't afford it as we are paying for the wedding ourselves. We are hosting a cocktail drink, and the wine during dinner (champagne toast included). I am including a drink ticket and am mentioning the cash bar as an enclosure with the invitation... what are your thoughts/ suggestions? it is a small wedding with about 45 guests. Thanks!

kimandjosh22 · May 2012

What time is your wedding? if its earlier in the day people won't drink as much. what about open beer and wine? you should offer your guests something.

laurenclaire1386 · May 2012

Why do you need a cash bar if you're hosting a cocktail and wine? Just host cocktail and wine and leave it at that. A limited, free selection is better than a cash bar, IMO. I hosted only beer, wine, and champagne at my wedding and all was well.

Maggie0829 · May 2012

Host what you can afford and if it is only a specialty drink and wine during dinner then that is all you should host/offer. Drink tickets are not for weddings they are for fundraisers and bull roasts.

AdeleDazeem · May 2012

Lose the drink ticket and the bar. Serve your speciality drink, wine and champagne free of charge. Don't offer any other beverages. Now you're not breaking etiquette!

myname1234 · May 2012

if you know it's tacky, how do you seriously expect the E- board to help you word it? it's not going to happen.

host what you can afford. To save money you can cut the champagne toast and offer beer/wine all night. Kegs aren't that much in the big scheme. Or just turn the taps off at a certain time. Anything else is not the way to go, but you already know that.

onelatindiver · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:11a293ac-b920-4bc0-a72a-9b2c0bacddf9">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]What time is your wedding? if its earlier in the day people won't drink as much. what about open beer and wine? you should offer your guests something.
Posted by kimandjosh22[/QUOTE]

It is going to be in the evening. I am offering open wine and the bottles will be at the table family-dinner style, and of course iced tea, water and coffee are included. The cocktail drink will also be included.

onelatindiver · May 2012

Thanks for the nice comments and suggestions!

laurenclaire1386 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:21ae620c-4043-424b-a109-9a2680eaa8b4">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash bar : It is going to be in the evening. I am offering open wine and the bottles will be at the table family-dinner style, and of course iced tea, water and coffee are included. The cocktail drink will also be included.
Posted by onelatindiver[/QUOTE]
Yeah, you definitely don't need a cash bar. What you're planning to host is absolutely acceptable and the cash bar is totally unnecessary.

pkontk · May 2012

People don't NEED alcohol all night to have a good time. You are providing drinks for those who would like one or two. As long as there are ample non-alcoholic beverages so people can stay hydrated throughout the evening, I don't see a problem with your choices.

aragx6 · May 2012

I agree with everyone else -- don't bother with the drink ticket or the open bar. Just host what you can afford!

[Deleted User] · May 2012

it's a wedding not an event.
NO drink ticket
NO cash bar
Your invited guests should not pay for anything

funandfreckles · May 2012

I'm 100% not okay with cash bars. However. I am far more than willing to pay for a drink at a wedding than have to drink wine or beer (neither of which I drink). A lot of people feel that way. But don't send a ticket in the invite. That's hideous.

goobersinlove · May 2012

We're on a tight budget and paying for our own wedding too - that's not an excuse to go against etiquette and have a cash bar.

Host what you can afford - whether that be a dry bar, or a beer/wine bar. Do NOT do "drink tickets" or a half-cash bar, or any alternative where guests would need to whip out their wallets at your wedding.

I went to a wedding with a cash bar once. I went up to the bar, ordered my drink, the bartender make it and handed it to me and said.... "That'll be $6 please." I had to GIVE MY DRINK BACK to the bartender because it never occurred to me that I would need to bring CASH to a WEDDING.

It's better to have your bartender say "sorry, we only have XYZ" than it is to have a situation like mine above.

kimandjosh22 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:dfbcf382-54d6-4732-9687-b2d9a0a5ba8c">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]if you know it's tacky, how do you seriously expect the E- board to help you word it? it's not going to happen. host what you can afford. To save money you can cut the champagne toast and offer beer/wine all night. <strong>Kegs aren't that much in the big scheme</strong>. Or just turn the taps off at a certain time. Anything else is not the way to go, but you already know that.
Posted by myname1234[/QUOTE]

I just learned this from my caterer, if you're open bar is being charged by consumption then it is less expensive to serve bottled beer. only get a keg if you know your guests can kick it.

jennipea382 · May 2012

*puts on flame retardant suit*

I'm fine with cash bars (I've only been to one open bar wedding, and it was on the east coast, not here). That being said, I don't like the idea of drink tickets. Also, I wouldn't put it in the invitation. If it's something that is normal and accepted in your area, people will probably be prepared and bring cash. I'd put a sign at the bar at says "XYZ beer and ABC wine provided by the bride and groom" or whatever you're hosting. Guests will see liquor bottles and see that is available, but the sign will make it clear that it's not hosted.

I know cash bars are very unpopular on TK but I'm risking the flames to hopefully help ;-)

ETA: I should mention too that this is the etiquette board, and it IS against etiquette to have a cash bar. So most people here are going to tell you it's a bad idea. You'll probably get more help on a local board or month board TBH.

aurianna · May 2012

Just echoing what most everyone has been saying.

Don't do drink tickets. I definitely understand why you would... it's a way for guests to get a free drink but a way to keep from going over budget. BUT it's kind of tacky. I'd avoid it.

Cash bar is against etiquette as everyone has said...
That being said, I have to agree with others that I don't drink beer and wine and I'd much prefer to have the option to buy a cocktail. But you can't please everyone as there's really no way to swing that without breaking etiquette (or risking awkward situations as PPs have mentioned).

But you've said you want to host a signature cocktail, wine and champage. This is great and totally fine!

I also think it's fine to only host those things during cocktail hour and dinner and then close the bar and only serve water/soda/juice. The DJ can make announcement that the bar will be closing at X o'clock. You aren't required to serve alcohol during the entire night. Just make sure you have other beverages after.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:b47d11c3-27d8-452a-9433-d7e3190d2f97">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash bar : Please capitalize and punctuate.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

I. think. the. Original. Poster. got. the. message........

aragx6 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:c3589062-1644-4248-8e5a-e15217272b91">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash bar : I. think. the. Original. Poster. got. the. message........
Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

I actually had to read it twice because it was initially confusing.

Having people understand your written communication is sort of the entire reason to use proper punctuation.

samantha24p · May 2012

See this is where it gets sticky. I live in Massachusetts and almost every wedding I've ever been to have been cash bar with champaign toast. I have never expected to not bring cash to a wedding. I've only been to 2 weddings that's had open bar and they were only open for an hour, then went to cash bar. We are doing a champaign toast, an hour of open bar and two bottles of wine per table. But having a cash bar after the hour for those who don't like wine. Everyone I've talked to ( from Massachusetts) have told me I'm crasy to do the open bar at all. I guess what I'm saying is diffrent states have diffrent etiquette and diffrent traditions.

willywally5 · May 2012

I really do think this is a regional thing. Out here on the plains (LOL!) where we don't actually live in teepees or sod houses as suspected, cash bars are quite common. Actually, the usual MO is to have open bar and/or keg until a certain time and then champagne for toasting. After that, if guests would like to imbibe more, they have the opportunity to do so at their own expense. Having an open bar all night long is kind of asking for trouble ... almost everyone has that one friend or relation who just can't call it quits when they should and makes an ass of him/herself.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:6f3c7cbe-57c9-4c05-98a5-aa96b263745d">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]People don't NEED alcohol all night to have a good time. You are providing drinks for those who would like one or two. As long as there are ample non-alcoholic beverages so people can stay hydrated throughout the evening, I don't see a problem with your choices.
Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]

I would not go to a wedding without alcohol and i def would not go to a wedding where I had to pay for it. Wedding gifts in NY are up to $150 a single and $300 a couple now. No way in heck am I then additionally paying for my alcohol.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2bc7cd8-4555-4b97-9d40-bc90bf4129f4Post:dd239464-8469-4d1c-89f3-1eacc0ff04ef">Re: Cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]See this is where it gets sticky. I live in Massachusetts and almost every wedding I've ever been to have been cash bar with champaign toast. I have never expected to not bring cash to a wedding. I've only been to 2 weddings that's had open bar and they were only open for an hour, then went to cash bar. We are doing a champaign toast, an hour of open bar and two bottles of wine per table. But having a cash bar after the hour for those who don't like wine. Everyone I've talked to ( from Massachusetts) have told me I'm crasy to do the open bar at all. I guess what I'm saying is diffrent states have diffrent etiquette and diffrent traditions.
Posted by samantha24p[/QUOTE]

See this is so weird 'cuz all the NY weddings I went to were open bar. I tried to tip cash once and they said they would not accept it, lol. Definite regional thing. Weddings in NY are cash free! :) (I love my state!)

Cash bar

Re: Cash bar

Choose Another Board

Search Boards