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Groom Shower???????

beauandsam11beauandsam11
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
My fiance's parents and grandparents are throwing my fiancee a "groomal shower" because they feel sorry for him for not having a party. I have never heard of a groom shower before. All of my family is calling me and asking me about it and they think it is stupid? Do you get gifts for a "groom shower"

And has anyone else heard of one before????
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Re: Groom Shower???????

  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've heard of couples' showers, but never a groom's shower. This seems very strange to me. Grooms (and many brides, actually) have survived without showers for generations, so I don't really understand his family's reasoning.

    Since it is being called a shower, I would assume it's a gift-giving occasion. If I were you, I would probably just direct guests toward the registry, as if it were any other shower.

    ETA: Assuming you have already had, or are having, a shower, do you know if the same people are being invited to this shower for your FI? That seems rather gift-grabby to me, as people will then likely feel obligated to buy two shower gifts, and then a wedding gift. In all honesty, if the guests are going to be the same group as your shower, I might consider declining the offer if I were your FI.
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  • loop0406loop0406 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Never heard of a groom's shower, any way you could make it a couples shower and make it coed, take turns opening gifts ?
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  • beauandsam11beauandsam11
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    They did call it a shower, but the invites say nothing about gifts. I am really upset because all my family thinks it is stupid and don't want to come. But I am asuming people are going to want to bring them.

    My shower was two weekends and everyone who came to my shower is invited to this one, plus people who aren't even invited to the wedding.

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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_groom-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ef129eed-5479-4602-a0f7-c745c692e092Post:08aa56ea-6816-42ae-92be-064c65e2774a">Re: Groom Shower???????</a>:
    [QUOTE]Never heard of a groom's shower, any way you could make it a couples shower and make it coed, take turns opening gifts ?
    Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.. I've never heard of a grooms shower.. and most grooms think the bridal showers are boring so I'm surprised that this would even be brought up. If he really wants a shower, then you guys should have a couples shower and everyone wins. I can't imagine what guys would want to attend a groom's shower. The groom's party is usually the bachelor party or stag.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_groom-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ef129eed-5479-4602-a0f7-c745c692e092Post:053dc878-b5f5-4ef1-a7d3-da025bc595ea">Re: Groom Shower???????</a>:
    [QUOTE]They did call it a shower, but the invites say nothing about gifts. I am really upset because all my family thinks it is stupid and don't want to come. But I am asuming people are going to want to bring them. My shower was two weekends and everyone who came to my shower is invited to this one,<strong> plus people who aren't even invited to the wedding.
    </strong>Posted by beauandsam11[/QUOTE]

    People who aren't invited to the wedding should absolutely not be invited to the shower.

    I've never heard of a groom's shower. Is your FI interested in having one? When I talked to a guy friend of mine about how he'd feel about going to a couple's shower, it basically came down to him saying that in all honesty, he would not enjoy going to a shower. So I'd keep that in mind too. Most guys I know wouldn't really want to go. But that depends on the individuals of course.
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  • beauandsam11beauandsam11
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    He has no idea about the shower and I don't think he wanted one. All he wanted was to go out with his friends for his bachelor party.

    I hope this isnt going to be a huge disastor.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_groom-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ef129eed-5479-4602-a0f7-c745c692e092Post:cac1407a-2a48-430e-a67e-b7273d2da932">Re: Groom Shower???????</a>:
    [QUOTE]He has no idea about the shower and I don't think he wanted one. All he wanted was to go out with his friends for his bachelor party. I hope this isnt going to be a huge disastor.
    Posted by beauandsam11[/QUOTE]

    Just have him decline the shower. People decline showers all the time.
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  • beauandsam11beauandsam11
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    how is he supposed to know? I havent told him
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_groom-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ef129eed-5479-4602-a0f7-c745c692e092Post:81e9b00d-4b65-4a7e-aa6f-7e28e6d36d94">Re: Groom Shower???????</a>:
    [QUOTE]how is he supposed to know? I havent told him
    Posted by beauandsam11[/QUOTE]

    You need to nip this in the bud somehow, because nobody other than parents and WP should be invited to more than one shower, and nobody who is not invited to the wedding should ever be invited to the shower.

    As for your family, I don't blame them for thinking it's stupid, and if I were them, I definitely would not attend.
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  • beauandsam11beauandsam11
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't know what to do, apparently I wasn't supposed to know about it either because my dad accidently told me. I haven't said anything to his family yet. It was mostly his grandmother planning it so I feel like she would be offened if I wasn't for this idea. I think it is just a bit much.

    I am worried that the people who arent invited to the wedding who come are going to be upset when the date gets closer and they have no invite!

    Sorry to be venting on here, but I am just so frustrated! Cry
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  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_groom-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ef129eed-5479-4602-a0f7-c745c692e092Post:98509f94-e2d7-4d31-a26b-f83e1e6b916f">Re: Groom Shower???????</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know what to do, apparently I wasn't supposed to know about it either because my dad accidently told me. I haven't said anything to his family yet. It was mostly his grandmother planning it so I feel like she would be offened if I wasn't for this idea. I think it is just a bit much. I am worried that the people who arent invited to the wedding who come are going to be upset when the date gets closer and they have no invite! Sorry to be venting on here, but I am just so frustrated!
    Posted by beauandsam11[/QUOTE]

    I really think you need to tell your FI what his family is planning. They are his family, and he can decide how to best deal with them regarding the situation.

    In my opinion, though, this shower shouldn't actually be held. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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