reception only/ no ceremony

Re: reception only/ no ceremony

• AdeleDazeem member

  

  November 2010 edited November 2010

  I do believe you are going to get varied responses about this.  I'll start since I fall on your side of the situation.
  
  We are having a parents/siblings only destination wedding followed by a reception in my home town about a month after we return.  It will a cocktail party (tons of appetizers, open bar, music) at a lovely restaurant in the city.  We won't be doing any wedding reception elements except cake cutting.  Because, really, who doesn't love cake?  We're inviting everyone who would have been invited to a full wedding (so, ~ 150 people).
  
  Now.  As long as your ceremony is truly private (under 20 guests), then hosting a larger reception afterwards is fine.  Some people won't like it (and they may tell you so in not so subtle ways) but, from an etiquette point of view, you're fine.  The problem lies in hosting a 40 person wedding followed by a 100 person reception.  That is not cool.
  
  Gifts are a tricky situation.  We aren't planning to register (something that is truly upsetting my mother, but I feel wrong asking for gifts from people at this type of party).
  
  Also, no showers or bachelorette party.  People invited to those should also be invited to the actual ceremony, which in your case, is only a few people.  People will fight you on this and other websites will say it is okay.  Go down these roads at your own risk.  You already haven't invited people to the ceremony, I wouldn't risk their offenses anymore by asking for more gifts from them.
  
  Good luck!

  
  

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  November 2010

  I think this is fine if it is really truly private (just you and your FI, maybe parents, siblings, grandparents). If that's the case, you could check into restaurants that could accomodate a cocktail party or bars/lounges. If you are inviting a lot of people like you would to a wedding ceremony and reception normally, I would say any sort of banquet hall or venue OK for that would also be OK for this.
  
  But I agree with a lot of what the PP said. If it was days after your ceremony, I'd feel weird about wearing a wedding gown. Or registering for gifts. Or doing a lot of the "wedding" things like first dances, etc. I would have it be more casual (even if you dress formally) in the regard that it is a gathering to honor and celebrate your marriage, but I would skip some of the wedding traditions, since it really won't be a wedding reception if it is held a few days after you actually got married.
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• AbbeyS2011 member

  

  November 2010 edited November 2010

  There is nothing wrong with having your reception a couple days after your ceremony.  A reception is a party celebrating your marriage and receiving your guests.  A few suggestions:
  
  1)  Make sure your invites are for a reception.  Something like this would be appropriate:  Your presence is requested at the wedding reception for Jack and Jill, on this day and time at XYZ place.
  
  2) Shop around for venues.  Lots of places have better prices on Fridays or Sundays, lunch/brunch buffets/cocktail party vs.  all out dinner.

  
  

  3)Definitely register!  A wedding is a wedding, whether it be a JP ceremony or at Westminster Abbey.  Your guests will want to get you something for a gift, whether or not you are expecting it. When someone asks, inform them where you are registered at.   I am planning my second wedding and will be registering.
  
  4)Nordstrom, JCPenney, Belk, and Davids Bridal all have some lovely informal wedding gowns/dresses that are reasonably priced.  Shop around and find something lovely to get married in.  You are a bride!
  
  5) Ask at a florist about a bouquet/boutineer package - lots of them have good deals. 
  
  6)Look into B n Bs in your area or an area you like - alot of them have elopement/tiny wedding packages that give you your small ceremony and offer alot of the wedding trimmings too!
  
  7)Relax and have fun planning.
  
  Best Wishes!
  

  

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• hillary_marie88 member

  

  November 2010

  We're doing something similar, having a just the two of us wedding in jamaica and a reception/celebration of marriage when we get home.
  
  Something I want to mention, a LOT of people here tell you not to register, you won't have a shower, etc.  I personally think that depends on where you are from.  I live in TN, and I know several girls who had either private ceremonies, or who got married just the two of them a maybe parents at a destination, and they still had showers...people offered to throw them, and people wanted to come.  I think that if people want to celebrate with you and help you get started as a married couple, there is no reason not to enjoy.
  

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