Teeth, SO UPSET! rant

MrsLiggett7 · February 2012

So I love my MIL but she gets a major FAIL in the parenting department. She's more of a friend to her kids than a mother, and it drives me crazy.

They pulled my FI out of public school in 2nd grade (for whatever reason, as well as the rest of their children) and decided to homeschool him. BUT they dropped the ball and didn't follow through with actually schooling him at home. So by the time he was a teenager he just stopped and never graduated, never got a GED, nothing.

But the most FRUSTRATING thing is that they did not enforce oral hygene. My FI drank a lot of soda when he was younger but his parents never enforced teeth brushing or took him to a dentist. (This started when he was little and continued on through adolescence). Now he is 23 and has HORRIBLE tooth decay. When we got engaged we knew we wanted to get his teeth fixed before the wedding.

We have since been to a dentist to find it is going to cost $5,000 to fix his teeth. $5,000 we don't have. The dentist does not do payment plans, and neither do any other dentists around town. They suggested we apply for something called "care credit", which we wanted to avoid opening up a credit line.

We went to the bank for a personal loan - denied.
We applied for a personal loan via Prosper.Com - denied.
And finally we gave in and applied for the Care Credit - denied.

I just don't understand it! My FI has two credit cards that he makes payments on (they are not delinquent and are under the credit limit), just bought a house, and owns a car. Yet somehow no one can give us a loan? How is it that he was able to get a $150,000 loan to buy a HOUSE, but not a measely $5,000 to fix his teeth??

The worst part? It's his parents fault for not being parents in the first place, but they take ZERO responsibility and won't help out AT ALL. I am so upset!

ShakeUpTampa · February 2012

I will tell you CARE CREDIT is amazing and they have promotional aprs if you pay off in certain periods of time. I could not have done my mouth without it. I paid cash monthly for braces but between all the crazy things I had done (and I had good oral hygiene only two fillings from age 5 to 20) and I just had a very minor done today. I had the worst smile and my mouth now costs more then my car. I used care credit today and have six months to pay off the $400.

Care credit is also accepted at some doctors and vets so great to have for an emergency. It is the one card I refuse to ever get rid of.

Are there some things he can wait on and some do now?

dogsandfrogs · February 2012

If you're denied credit, you can usually call the number for the company and ask why you were denied (if they don't like your debt/income ratio, too short a history, etc).

I will say that just being under the limit is not enough anymore. With the way credit companies tightened everything in the last couple years, some of them will still deny you if they see you're only making minimum payments each month or if you're consistenly on the higher end of being under your limit.

ElleB87 · February 2012

He was most likely denied because of the amount of credit he already has in his name...like you said, he just took out a 150K mortgage. Have him call the company and ask why he was declined.

MyUserName1 · February 2012

Is there a dental school nearby? That is a good way of getting much more affordable dental care.

Did you two apply for those loans both separately and jointly?

Also, perhaps you can speak to your bank about taking out a loan putting his car down as collateral? I did that once to pay for some medical issues- it sucked to have a car payment again, but better than his teeth rotting out of his head.

Every prior dentist I ever went to would lecture me about oral hygeine because I get cavities like crazy. I have excellent oral hygeine. I went to my new dentist and was told that it was clear that wasn't the issue- we realized it was because of my issues with acid reflux and I was prescribed a toothpaste with extra flouride. Perhaps some persciption toothpaste could help restore his teeth to a small extent as well.

lls31 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_teeth-so-upset-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:cac271b9-cb7f-406e-b328-ea202ad953c3Post:7cf7e270-ba37-4e32-8d2b-16d22750ac39">Re: Teeth, SO UPSET! *rant*</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're denied credit, you can usually call the number for the company and ask why you were denied (if they don't like your debt/income ratio, too short a history, etc). I will say that just being under the limit is not enough anymore. With the way credit companies tightened everything in the last couple years, some of them will still deny you if they see you're only making minimum payments each month or if you're consistenly on the higher end of being under your limit.
Posted by dogsandfrogs[/QUOTE]

<div>This. You should definitely call and find out why you were denied. </div><div>
</div><div>I've always had excellent credit... but a few years ago, I applied for a credit card to get Frequent Flyer miles and I was denied. I was absolutely shocked. I called to find out why and I was told that I had too much credit (I never even realized that was possible). I had several credit cards open at the time (most of which I hadn't used in years) all with zero balance. I was told that I should cancel some of the cards, which I did. This may not be the case for you and your FI, but you should definitely at least make the call to find out what the problem is. </div><div>
</div><div>Hopefully you can get to the bottom of this and get FI's teeth taken care of. It the loan route doesn't work, maybe look into dentists just outside of your area and see if any of them offer payment plans. Good luck!</div>

lls31 · February 2012

Another idea. Do either of you have a 401K that you can borrow from? This would be my absolute last option, but if he needs the dental care that badly, it's something to think about.

funandfreckles · February 2012

How is it that he was able to get a $150,000 loan to buy a HOUSE, but not a measely $5,000 to fix his teeth??

The bank can take your house. The house is its own collateral. The bank/credit companies can't take your FI's teeth. It's as simple as that. His debt to equity ratio must be too high.

Can you co-sign for him? Or would/can his parents...?

murphanzo · February 2012

it's a debt-to-credit ratio. He has too much debt to justify enough credit. Also, every time a company runs your credit report it drops about 5-10 points. By the 3rd attempt you were down 30points.

Teeth and good oral hygeine are very important. FI is probably having a lot of pain but has gotten used to it. Tooth decay has potential to get infected and if you cut the gum you run the risk of the infection gettig in the blood stream. This isn't meant to be a scare tactic, but I would think about delaying the wedding date to get FI's teeth fixed. Fix it now before it gets worse. His health and well being is worth it.

jujub423 · February 2012

Definitely look into care credit! I got it when my dog needed knee surgery, and just used it again to have $1200 worth of dental work--I have severe anxiety about the dentist and hadn't been there in about 6 years. I was offered either a 12 month no interest payment plan or an 18 month, it just depends on what the office offers.

Cortney1982 · February 2012

I don't understand why you would assume taking out a line of credit is worse than a personal loan. The Care Credit card is by far better than a personal loan because of 0% financing options. I've used it three times on my dog for expensive vet trips, and once for myself to cover what insurance wouldn't on a surgery and didn't pay a dime in interest.

Can you refiance the car?

Also, I would look into a dental school for treatment.

Everything doesn't need to be done at once. Take care of the most important needs first.

Was the $5,000 after insurance? If you don't have insurance, look into dental discount programs. https://www1.careington.com/index.aspx Only around $7 a month, better than paying full price at the dentist office.

entropicbeauty · February 2012

I once got denied for a gas credit card because I was TOO responsible paying my bills and the credit card company didn't think they could make enough money off of me!

Glad BP ended up denying me, I support a smaller company now and wouldn't have it any other way.

chrryblndchick · February 2012

I opened a Care Credit account after my cat got really sick and I love being able to use it now for other vet things. I got denied on my own, as I was only 21 at the time and had no credit history. Then my step-mom cosigned for it and I was approved. Is there anyone that would be willing to do that for you? Maybe not his parents, but yours?

Teeth, SO UPSET! rant

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