Jealous Of MOH?!?

Re: Jealous Of MOH?!?

• krose83013

  

  June 2012

  Sounds like she's trying to draw attention to herself. She needs to grow up, and why would she say that to the MOH? She's just trying to stir up trouble. You said you keep getting mad at her, what else is she doing?

  

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_jealous-of-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:34db8874-3ccc-40c5-8f36-63ecb893e8e6Post:1cc97d68-2740-44e9-9cf5-0718acce94bc">Jealous Of MOH?!?</a>:
  [QUOTE]One day while shopping for bridemaids dresses one of my bridmaids had the nerve to tell my MOH that I really wanted her (the bridemaid) to by my MOH but that since me and my MOH had been like sisters and had been saying that we would be each others MOHs when we were little (which is a lie) that she had given me her blessing to have MOH as my MOH (if that makes any sense.) She also told my MOH that even though she may be my MOH, that she (the bridsmaid) would always be my best friend.It really bothered me when I found out and when I confronted my bridemaids she told me that she is just jealous and I understand that but I just cant get over it. As much as I love my bridemaid, I just feel constantly mad at her. My fiance said I should just kick her out of the wedding but I feel like that would just create more drama than I need. It doesnt help that she is my mothers, best friends daughter. How do I deal with her?!
  Posted by savannahm11[/QUOTE]
  
  Ignore her. This sounds like it's between her and the MOH, and you're just going to create more problems by trying to get in the middle and solve it. That's not your job just because you're the bride.
  
  If you're having other friendship issues with her, you can address those with her directly and leave the wedding out of it.  But you're right that kicking her out would be a very bad move, and wouldn't reflect well on you no matter what she's done.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  June 2012

  Just tell your MOH that none of the things she told you are true.  That you wanted her to be your MOH and you're not sure why the BM said such things to her. 
  
  I would also speak to your BM.  Tell her its fine to be jealous of the MOH, but not to speak one word about it!  Tell her you don't want any drama in your BP.  The girls don't have to be best friends, but they should be civil to each other!

  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  June 2012

   How do you feel about the friendship now?  I AM not advocating kicking her out, but if I were in your shoes I would be having a come to Jesus meeting about lying.  I do not tolerate lying at all and I would especially not tolerate it so the BM could cause drama and inflate her importance in your universe.  I would have to  talk to her with the friendship in mind, not the wedding.  That would not set well with me at all.

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• mbcdefg member

  

  June 2012

  Stay out of other people's gossip and tattling. If someone comes running to you saying, "OMG, X just said this!" then cut them off and say, "Don't get me involved" and then change the subject or walk away. Do not let them involve you in their childishness.
  
  As much as I love my bridemaid, I just feel constantly mad at her
  
  Did this only start after you asked her to be a BM? Or has she always been this way and it's only now starting to piss you off because she's a BM (and maybe you're subconsciously expecting better behavior from her)?
  
  If she's always been this way, then it's unfair of you to expect anything different from her just because she's your bridesmaid now. Ignore her faults and stay out of the gossip.
  
  If this truly IS brand-new behavior for her, then call her and ask if you can take her out for coffee. Sit down and say something like, "I feel like we're not as close as we used to be. Is there anything you want to talk about?" Don't center it around the wedding (because it is a friend issue, not a wedding issue), and don't say things like, "I heard that you told Tara XYZ."
  
  You are correct that kicking her out would just cause more drama. Plus it solves absolutely nothing, and it's a childish way to handle an adult relationship with her. When you agree to be someone's friend, you need to accept their personality for exactly how it is. So if she's always been like this then accept her for who she is and ignore the things you don't like ... if she was absolutely never like this, then FIX the problem rather than just pushing her away.

  

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• bratto06

  

  June 2012

  i would be horribly afraid that she would cause drama at at the wedding esp if their is alcohol being served if she already jealous then the worst will come out then

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