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Horse & Pony Show Update (Long)

DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
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in New York
So I had lunch with my mom and eased into wedding conversation. Then I calmly explained to her that if she was not comfortable calling her brother and telling him he couldnt not bring his son, I had started writing them a letter explaining it.

OMG, Ive never seen shiit hit a fan so fast! In the middle of Brueggers we began a yelling match. Not loud enough that everyone stopped to look but the table next to us keep looking over. Pretty much what I got out of her was that her family is more important than anyone else and who gives a rats a$s what I want b/c shes paying so everything is going to be how she wants it.

She kept reminding me that the kids in our bridal party were Joshs family. To which I responded with "Im sorry that you feel your family is better than dads and that you never felt they were good enough to call family, but Joshs family is my family too!" Before we were even engaged I was Aunt Bridgett to all 6 boys, Joshs mom would introduce me as her DIL, his sisters all called me their sister. I am in such amazement at how big a biitch my mother is being.

She even went so far as to say that if my cousin couldnt come, then the parents of the BP kids need to drive the hr+ back to their homes after the ceremony to drop the kids off then come back. My reception is immediately following the ceremony! So they should just miss it all?! WHAT?!?!

I finally told her I was sorry I discussed the wedding with her at all and if she wanted it her way then she should plan it all b/c I was sick of it. Then told her cousin could come but I will not be that a$shole that allowed him to come. "Are you calling me an a$shole?!?!" "If the shoe fits..."

I am so over this f'n circus. I dont need this. Im seriously considering canceling the whole show, going to a court house and being done with it. Im so done with this "family" crap. Ive said my whole life that family has nothing to do with blood and my mom has always agreed...with the exception of her perfect family of course. AHH!


Thanks for letting me vent that. Im so incredibly angry and needed to get some of it off my chest.

People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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Re: Horse & Pony Show Update (Long)

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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    Wow.... umm... most importantly... did you finish your lunch?  Because... you know.... Brueggers has awesome food.  lol  Sorry.... had to.

    Seriously.... I'm sorry you have to deal with this mess.  All over one kid.  I know you have been very adamant about no kids.... but.... how about opening up the invite to all the kids??  Your parents are paying, right?  So..... maybe invite them all and let her pay (literally) the consequences.

    Just a thought.
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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    Hmm... otherwise.... I really hate to use the "s/he who pays, says" line, but it's true.  If they are footing the bill and are throwing an oscar-worthy chit-fit over this one kid, your only options really are to

    a.  continue to fight about it... in the end, they probably still get their way or the fight gets to a really really ugly point... even if you "win"... it probably still won't be a good thing.

    b.  make a special snowflake exception for this kid and risk getting the stink eye from all the other kid-less parents

    c.  open the invite up and let anyone who wants to bring their rugrats.  You'd be surprised how many people still choose not to.  We invited all families (kids included) to ours and we are still only having 3 kids.  (1 being the FG, 1 the RB and the 3rd is the RB's brother).  Most people actually don't want to bring their kids even if they are invited.

    d.  Run to courthouse and get-er-done
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    DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
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    edited December 2011
    I threw that out there (in a very sarcstic way) "F it. You want him lets invite the school of them! (And i started listing all the kids from both my sides) Oh but lets not forget Joshs side! (Listed all of them) Lets just add a petting zoo and make a freakin circus of the whole thing! Are you ready to stretch your budget?!" She told me to cut the sarcasm.

    In all reality, my venue wont hold that many people and I refuse to have a bunch of toddlers running around. I want to have fun and not have to worry about the kids. But who cares what I want, I mean, this isnt mine and Joshs day or anything. Its all about my mom and her family.

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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    DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah I tried explaining that "S/he who pays" rule to Josh and he freaked. But on here especially, I use it all the time so I totally get it. Thats pretty much why I left it at "Fine, he can be there, but Im not the a$shole that allowed it."

    You wanna throw the "Im paying" fine, you be the biiitch. These other people may not be my moms family, but they will be mine and its awesome that this is how she wants to start my "new life"

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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    sbolger17sbolger17 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, that really sucks.  Maybe give it a few days to cool off?  If your mom doesn't come around, then (I hate to say it) maybe an exception for this one kid is the best thing to do.  I would hope that no one would say anything to the bride on her wedding day about being upset b/c they couldn't bring their kid!  And if someone says something later, you can just tell them it was your mom.  Or just say that there weren't SUPPOSED to be any kids and then let them think it's the kid's parents' fault entirely.
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    crystaldes1029crystaldes1029 member
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    edited December 2011
    This sounds oh so familiar! :) my moms family has so many people and issues with this person or that so planning was a huge mess especially the guest list. I told my mom in the beginning I wanted no kids except those in the BP. She agreed and she tried throwing it iin my face later and i called her out on it.

    Luckily she backed down (after a long while.) I did just get to the point where fine if you want to pay do it but the extra people will not be factored into anything except a meal. i refused to do extra favors or a new seating chart. They fell where they fell. :)

    GL at least its almost over and after all was said and done I still think I should of eloped!
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