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May 2013 Weddings

QOTD 9/28

Do you and FI plan to have children? If so, trying right away or waiting?
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White Knot

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Re: QOTD 9/28

  • We are planning on it. Probably start trying soon after the wedding, since I will be 32 when we get married.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
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    Honestly, we're both unsure. Sometimes I want kids (eventually) and other times I am ok with it just being us forever. 

    If we do decide to have children, it won't be anytime soon. We plan to buy a house in the next 2 years and I'd like to be settled with that that travel a bit. Maybe 5-7 years from now. 



  • We do want children. I am a nanny for one year old twins, so if you ask me when I want them, it depends on what kind of day I had. lol If you ask FI, he says right away. But I don't think he fully understands what it's like to have a child... like how much it changes your life. We are planning to go to Green Bay, WI (he LOVES the Packers, so this will be my first Packer's game) the Sept/Oct after we get married, and he says he wants to make a Green Bay baby. lol
    In the end though, I think it will depend on when we are completely financially comfortable to have a child.
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  • FI and I don't want kids actually. We've gotten a lot of crap for it, people assuming we're 'selfish' and even claiming that we're too young to 'know the joy of having a child' even though I'm 25 and FI is 26. Thankfully, both sets of parents support us in our decision and aren't pressuring us to have kids.

    Also, most of our friends want children and I have several cousins who want kids, so we'll be surrounded by plenty :-)
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    White Knot

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  • In Response to Re: QOTD 9/28:
    [QUOTE]FI and I don't want kids actually. We've gotten a lot of crap for it, people assuming we're 'selfish' and even claiming that we're too young to 'know the joy of having a child' even though I'm 25 and FI is 26. Thankfully, both sets of parents support us in our decision and aren't pressuring us to have kids. Also, most of our friends want children and I have several cousins who want kids, so we'll be surrounded by plenty :-)
    Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]



    Don't feel bad, it's your life...live it how you want. I never wanted kids either but oops, I became pregnant! I have a daughter and FI has a daughter, we talk about having one together but it goes back and forth. Some days I think I'd rather travel then some days I think about how I would love to have a mini "us" :)
  • I'm very torn myself on what I want. I have a 14 year old son and part of me is happy that he'll be 18 soon and I can start being more "selfish" with my time. A little part of me wishes I had a baby, now that I am older, so I can truly appreciate the young years, be a SAHM, and (fingers crossed) have a little girl. I also love the idea of having a child with FI since he has no kids and I think he would make a great dad.

    FI is unsure because he enjoys us having "us time" and loves the idea that nothing is holding us in one place and we can pretty much come and go whenever we want, etc. There are many times, though, when we are doing something as a family, that he wishes he had a child of his own to share those moments with. Like fishing, camping, bike riding, playing at the beach, etc.   

    Im supportive of whichever decision he makes. If he decides he doesn't want children, Im ok with that. I have my son, so I wont feel like I'm missing out. If he decides that he does want kids, I'm on board with that too, but it would need to be pretty soon after we get married. I dont think I will want to be having a kid at 35+.  

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  • We want children, but not for a while.  Probably about 5 years from now or so.  We want to spend some time enjoying just hte two of us and buy a house first.

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  • We want to have them right away, although several people have told me they think we should enjoy married life for a while first. If he had it his way we would starting trying right now! I told him we could start on the honeymoon because I don't want to be a pregnant bride lol.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: QOTD 9/28:
    [QUOTE]I'm very torn myself on what I want. I have a 14 year old son and part of me is happy that he'll be 18 soon and I can start being more "selfish" with my time. A little part of me wishes I had a baby, now that I am older, so I can truly appreciate the young years, be a SAHM, and (fingers crossed) have a little girl. I also love the idea of having a child with FI since he has no kids and I think he would make a great dad. FI is unsure because he enjoys us having "us time" and loves the idea that nothing is holding us in one place and we can pretty much come and go whenever we want, etc. There are many times, though, when we are doing something as a family, that he wishes he had a child of his own to share those moments with. Like fishing, camping, bike riding, playing at the beach, etc.    Im supportive of whichever decision he makes. If he decides he doesn't want children, Im ok with that. I have my son, so I wont feel like I'm missing out. If he decides that he does want kids, I'm on board with that too, but it would need to be pretty soon after we get married. I dont think I will want to be having a kid at 35+.  
    Posted by MamaBear904[/QUOTE]

    I'm glad that there's someone else who's "undecided." I feel like people can be kind of judgey about it when they ask me when we're having kids and I say we're not sure that we want any. 



  • Yes. That is the short answer.

    The long answer is that FI already has a 6 year old son, who I absolutely adore. And since we already have a little boy in the picture, FI is steadfast on wanting a girl. (I teasingly tell him that it's up to him to make that happen.) Originally, we discussed waiting a couple of years after we're married (we will both be 32 by our wedding), but he sprung on me the other night that he wants to start trying for that little girl a lot sooner than he thought. I asked if he wanted a "honeymoon baby", which is not something I'm ready for (it would mean I would be 4 months preggo this time next year!!).

    The biggest concern I have is that I'm currently working as a contractor, so I have no paid  maternity leave available. I'd like to get a full-time offer before we start discussing having kids!
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  • I have never had any desire to have kids, but I am not against it.
    FI and I are actually decided on adopting, but not for a few years. We want to be settled into a house and I want to be completely self employed by that time so that I can stay home with the kids and possibly homeschool them.
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  • I don't understand why people are so judgey. Its not unusual for people to say "no kids for us" or have them later in life. I mean. Lets put this in perspective. Our country is not in the best shape and as it is, my son is going to have a really hard time getting started in life with a good career because of how high unemployment already is. And not to be mean, but today's generation of kids feel so darn entitled its unnerving.
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  • We want kids for sure, but not yet.  I'm thinking hoping in about 2-4 years cause then I'll be 32 and FI will be 30.  I want kid #1 before I'm 35.  At some point I'd really like to foster too, maybe when kids are older, but I'm not sure if FI does.
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  • FI and I have a son together and then I have a 8 yr old son and so does he. We are good in that department ! Not having anymore and dont want anymore !
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  • In Response to Re: QOTD 9/28:
    [QUOTE]I have never had any desire to have kids, but I am not against it. FI and I are actually decided on adopting, but not for a few years. We want to be settled into a house and I want to be completely self employed by that time so that I can stay home with the kids and possibly homeschool them.
    Posted by turtleslove[/QUOTE]

    Homeschooling was always my bottom line.  I'm not a big public school person.  I own a private music school which is mostly after-school and evening hours, so it's perfect if I want to be a homeschool mom some day.

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  • We definitely want kids and will need to start trying pretty soon since I am 35 and he is 43. I would love to wait a while and get settled but I don't think that is a good ideas because of fertility concerns.
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  • We both want kids eventually.  Right now I'm thinking to start in about 5 years but who knows, maybe I'll get baby fever sooner than that.
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  • Yes - definitely want kids. Timeframe depends on finances. I'll be 29, FI will be almost 41 when we get married. If money was no issue, we'd start trying on the wedding night. haha. Unfortunately, we're both kinda strapped for cash. I have some major student loan debt, and neither of us currently has much in savings... At this point, we're thinking maybe wait til mid-to-end of 2014...
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  • In Response to Re: QOTD 9/28:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand why people are so judgey. Its not unusual for people to say "no kids for us" or have them later in life. I mean. Lets put this in perspective. Our country is not in the best shape and as it is, my son is going to have a really hard time getting started in life with a good career because of how high unemployment already is. And not to be mean, but today's generation of kids feel so darn entitled its unnerving.
    Posted by MamaBear904[/QUOTE]



    Lol you are right, my 8 yr old wants the new iPhone so my parents said they were going to get her one for Christmas. Umm Wth?! First, who is she going to call? Second, I remember I couldn't even get a pager until I was 16!!!
  • We both want kids. I will be 35 on our wedding day so I'd like to try sooner rather than later. We haven't talked about it alot but maybe we'll decide that I just go off birth control after the wedding and see where we're at by December when I turn 36??
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  • Yes we want babies!!! Were discussing starting try 1 yr after wedding well be 29 by then. That gives us time to travel a bit more as well.
  • Neither of us have kids, and both want kids.  Due to the fact we'll be getting married younger, kids are going to wait 6 years or so.  I mean if we end up financially stable beforehand, it may change, but I highly doubt we'll want to have kids before then.
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  • Fiancé and I want kids but we will both only be 23 when we get married so we are taking our time. Probably try around 27. We want to adopt as well since both of us have adopted siblings it's really important to us.
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  • We will both be 24 and want to wait 5ish years to have kids. I definitely want to finish up pharmacy school and get my career well under way before adding anyone to the family!
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  • FI is going to be starting residency next year (2-4 years depending on the program he gets accepted to) so we are going to wait at least 3-4 years before trying.
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  • Yes. If it were up to me we'd start trying on our honeymoon. I need to finish my RN. We'll either start trying in the last few months of class or I'll wait about 6 months after I find a job. The goal is kids in 34 years.
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  • We do, we are planning to start trying about a year after the wedding, giving us about 2 years to have the house remodeling project completed
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  • DF already has a 7 year old son that he has full custody of. If we didn't have him we'd probably wait 5 plus years to have any but since we do have him, we'll probably start to try within the year after the wedding.
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  • We are waiting at least 2 years I will be out of nursing school and we also want to enjoy the newlywed life and travel a bit more.
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  • We do plan to have kids, I have the implanon birth control that will be good until June of 2015 so we will probably wait until around then to have kids. It can be removed earlier but I think that is the right amount of time. :)

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