advice- parent dances yay or nay???

wendyjoy182 · June 2010

My second wedding FI's first. I am so not wanting to do father/daughter dance - not that close to dad and also have a step dad and already had that dance last time- and we are having an uber small wedding 20 people. I don't want it, but is it too weird to just have my FI and his mom do a dance or is it bad if neither of us do it? Is that selfish of me? He says he doesn't care.

suzieharris · June 2010

Well, my dad passed away in April and I wish he would be there to dance with at my wedding. It is really your preference. I totally understand your feelings on it. I think if your FI feels the need to dance with his mom it would be a nice gesture since it is his first wedding. Do you have children? We are doing a kid dance. I'm dancing with my boys and my FI is dancing with my daughter then he will dance with his girls.

melissamc2 · June 2010

I think you can do it any way YOU want to. If your fiance is ok with he and his Mom doing one, then great. If he'd be happy to skip that, as well, then that's good, too.

I fear that I'm a freak of wedding nature...I don't like ANY family dances. Most people (and myself) find them slightly boring and awkward to sit through. Even the first dance is often mundane, at best.

That's just how I see it, though. I realize that they are very important to some people - but I feel they should be done only if, and how, the couple getting married feels about them.

arv266 · June 2010

Hi, the PP have given you great advice on this one! I too don't feel very strongly about parent dances. I am not all that close to my Dad but went the traditional route for my first wedding. To be honest, it just felt fake to me. This time around I will only have a dance with my FI. Later in the evening I will ask my son, and then father to dance, but it wont be an event where the spotlight is on us. Being an older (cough cough) and wiser bride, I realize that I do not have to do what is expected of me -- all I need to do is be real, and do the things that are important to us as a couple. Best of luck to you!!!

Rawr08 · June 2010

We are not doing ANY dances. First of all FI and I never dance together - we suck at dancing. Second, well it's my second and although my Dad did not get the dance the first time around I don't think he is crying about it. Like the pp said, do what you want. FI and Mom can have their dance if they want, and that can be it. Enjoy your day, you don't want to do anything you aren't going to enjoy.

wendyjoy182 · June 2010

Thank you knotties! I know it's a silly detail, but I too feel like the parents dances and even the 1st dance are BORING! It's weird and with only 20 or 23 guests it's even more random. Thanks for the reassurance. Have a great week ladies!

advice- parent dances yay or nay???

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