40-Plus Brides

First Time over 40 bride

Yea, so glad to see there's a "section" for us!  I'm so excited to finally get to this step in my life, I have waited FOREVER!!  And now that I'm here, I'm so overwhelmed with where to start and how to get this done... I did find my dress this past weekend, now I have to make sure I lose at least 10 lbs by the wedding 10/26/2012.  Seeing that I have over 180+ things I haven't done yet on the count here is making me even more stressed out.

Re: First Time over 40 bride

  • Welcome! I too feel your overwhelmness. I'm 39 getting ready to turn 40 in May and this is my first marriage. Of course I am happy and am enjoying the planning, but some of it has started to become overwhelming. Thankfully, my mom has been a load of help.
    And to top it off, I will become an instant mom. My fiance has an almost 14 year old son. I have no kids, just two dogs. So this will be a new experience for me. I have found myself doubting my abilities at being a stepmom but hopefully this feeling will pass.
    Congrats on finding your dress. Just stay calm and if people offer to help, let them. It really does make a difference.
  • Welcome and Congrats. Good job on finding your dress. That was a big check for me. Now I just have to have the alterations done. I am getting married in Oct. also and really want to lose at least 10lbs. 
    It seems overwhelming at first and sometimes along the way but you will get things done. Cheryl is right about the help part. Take all you can get but be specific about what you need. 
  • Thanks Cheryl and FS, congratulations to you too!!

    I'm hoping once we find a venue I will breathe a little easier. Unfortunately my mother is handicapped and is not able to assist me.  My MIL-to-be would love to help, but my mother then feels slighted that she's not part of it, so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.  My FI is wonderful and wants to be a part of everything to help.  We have two more viewing for venues tomorrow and I hope one of those will do the trick.  I don't want to change the date, because with our schedules, it's really the only day.

    I'm not sure how I would do at this age becoming an instant mom Cheryl.  I know I would love to have a child, but I don't know how I would do with a teenager right out of the gate... I believe I would have the same tripidations as you are having... I read your other post last night, but didn't have any pearls of wisdom to offer...
  • Welcome GuinGirl.  Things seem overwhelming at first and then they slow down and then towards the end you want to stress, but at that point--what's done is done and you are just as married.  My mother had a stroke a few years back and my DH no longer has a relationship with his mom, so I was pretty much on my own.  My SIL helped from afar as a sounding board and the owner of my venue and her staff were the best EVER!!! 

    Congrats on finding the dress.  We love to see pictures. 

    Take deep breaths from time to time and all will be right with the world.
  • Welcome Guin, enjoy the ride, it is indeed a fun one. 

  • Well we visited a venue today that is first in the running as well as a caterer... we have a couple more places to visit, but I think we might have found the right one...

    My hubby-to-be doesn't really like cake... well doesn't like icing (isn't that the best part of the cake?) so it will be my choice :) 

    Yes, I'm the proud owner of the most lovable rescue kitty ever :)

    He was also the ring carrier for my proposal... he kinda hurried it along since he was trying to eat the ring, silly kitty :)

    This was the dress I chose:

  • First welcome to the board.  I am also a first time bride over 40. It's very exciting and like you especially after having waiting so LONGGGG!  Happy planning to you.  Your dress is great!!

    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  

  • Love the dress and the furbaby.
  • Love the kitty. Oh and the dress too! Lol 
  • Welcome. I too am a first time bride. I will be 42 this year. My one aunt told me I should be having a small wedding or a destination wedding, but I didn't listen to her. Lol. Nope we are inviting 250 ppl & I bought a beautiful fit & flare dress. My fiance, whom is a few yrs younger really wanted all the bells & whistles. I would not worry about the knot checklist - there were about 20 items that didn't pertain to me, so I deleted them. I hope you find a venue soon, then you can start tying your ideas together. That item is right up there with your dress. You will calm down once you have it chosen. Then comes photographer, florist, video, hair/mup artist & invites :) Once big items get done you will have a few months of breathing room.
  • My honey is younger too and he wants his perfect wedding. It's actually funny, he's more into the details and making decisions than I am.  I'm good with the venue we went to yesterday, but he's all about seeing more.  I'm just afraid the date won't be available anymore if we wait too long.
  • well we have decided on a venue... just waiting for confirmation that someone didn't swoop in and steal our date!!  I think once that's secured, I will be able to breathe...

    But then starts the hunt for the house... it's just never ending, is it?
  • cshulercshuler member
    edited March 2012
    Welcome and congrats!!! Kudos on the your dress. I am also a first time bride over 40. Do not get stressed. Just take a deep breath and use all the helpful tools the Knot provides.
  • I am joining the club as of today!  We picked out both my rings on Saturday and he has picked them up.  He is asking my daughter permission first and then I get my "official" proposal.  We sort of did this backwards as our wedding date 12/13/14 was set as sort of a joke a couple of years ago.  Dec 13th is our anniversay and we were talking and said if we ever decided to get married it should be on 12/13/14.  Come to find out - it is a Saturday, so now it will be official.  I will be 49 (OMGoodness!)  when we tie the knot.  this is my first and his third (and last)    I know I have plenty of time but am afraid that if I don't pick a venue in the next six months or so, the one I want might be gone!!!
  • Hi GuinGirl and All,
    I too was a 40 + first time bride a year and a half ago.  The best advice I can give is:  Only do what is fun and meaningful for the two of you.  When it stops being fun (in the planning or the living) what good is that for anyone?!
    This advice got my now-husband and I through it - wacky in-law issues, a very large family, buying a house and moving during wedding planning, and have job issues, and planning the entire outdoor homestyle wedding ourselves. 
    Being older you can cut out all the hype that might come with being a 20-something bride, and do what YOU want to.  In otherwards, follow your own check list.
    Blessings and peace to your and your FH.

    We had a beautiful church wedding and a rocking barn reception!
    dreams do come true
  • I hope to be married by the end of the year and it too will be my first time at 51~
  • Congratulations, GuinGirl!  I am very happy for you.  Try not to stress out too much.  Believe me, it is easy to say, but hopefully you will enjoy the planning stages more than dreading them.

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one on her getting married for the first time after 40.  I will be 43 for my August wedding and an instant stepmom too.  The great thing is that my stepdaughter is already grown and married, so I will not have to go through the teenage years.
  • WOW! congratulations to you both to your day that's coming up fast, fast. I'm 49 years old to lol The only thing I can say, try not to stress. Take time to think about the love you two will have togeher as husband and wife. Think about the love that has develope between you. If thinking on those things gets your heart beating a little fast, your stomach filled with butterflies and your face hurts because you can't stop smiling about him. You will be fine now and eveything else will fall in place the way you want them to. keep smiling lol I hope this helps Stay forever bless    
  • katheleen000katheleen000 member
    First Comment
    edited March 2014
  • I just got married for the first time two months after my 40th birthday. We did EVERYTHING we wanted, with no worries about being "too old" - we even had a fantastic sparkler sendoff. It was awesome. I know two other "older" first time brides married this year - one at 63 and the other at 82. You're never too old to fall in love and have a wedding! This pic is me with the gift I gave my husband. 
  • I love that this board exists--you all look beautiful and have great attitudes about getting married later in life. It seems like a lot of time goes by between posts on this thread. It probably reflects how few of us there are celebrating the way we would have in our 20s or 30s? I say that because I feel a little silly, as a first time bride at 41, having a bridal party, a theme, a bachelorette party, doing DIY crafts, and other things that are seemingly time consuming, possibly expensive, and not "important" comparatively to having *finally* found each other. But I'm doing what I want how I want, and I'm no longer self-conscious (like I was when I was younger) and don't care if others think my hand-made card box is silly or that I should be saving for a house instead of throwing a weekend-long destination celebration event. No matter what our age, love is a wonderful thing to celebrate. Maybe even more so now that we kissed a lot of toads before we met the loves of our lives. Congrats to all and wishing you a happy, healthy and long life together!
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