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This might be a dumb question.. =(

minko1986minko1986 member
Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
in Wedding Party
Hi ladies!

I'm not having maid of honor, just bridesmaids. Do I have to let my BMs know that there is no MOH? I'm putting together a little packet for them (one of those "would you be my BM?" things floating on the internet except I've asked them already and they all said yes. So it's more like "thank you for agreeing to be my BM" and introducing the girls to each other since they don't know each other). So somewhere in the packet, do I need to mention that there is no MOH? Will they even wonder who MOH is..? Maybe I'm just overthinking this..?


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Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(

  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    2500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree with PP

     

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What kind of stuff are you putting in the packet? 

    And I agree with PP, that if anyone asks just tell them you couldn't choose.  Divide up the MOH "duties" as best you can, like who holds the flowers during the ceremony, who signs the license, and who gives a speech (but make sure the BM asks to give a speech, don't demand one!).
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with Edie. Don't make a big deal about it, and just let them know if they ask.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • minko1986minko1986 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I knew I was overthinking this... LOL. Thanks for your input ladies!
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  • minko1986minko1986 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-might-be-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5862294-ed22-43c3-9a04-276bfaa4f0a5Post:c30cddda-0a57-4093-8575-12c1317a4803">Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(</a>:
    [QUOTE]What kind of stuff are you putting in the packet?  And I agree with PP, that if anyone asks just tell them you couldn't choose.  Divide up the MOH "duties" as best you can, like who holds the flowers during the ceremony, who signs the license, and who gives a speech (but make sure the BM asks to give a speech, don't demand one!).
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm doing something like this... </div><div><a href="http://static.weddingchicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/askingyourbridesmaid.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://static.weddingchicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/askingyourbridesmaid.jpg</a></div><div>
    </div><div>Just chaning some stuff around because I already asked them.</div>
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  • gurrlballa10gurrlballa10
    500 Comments

    For the love of all things Holy, please do not give them a packet. 

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  • minko1986minko1986 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-might-be-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5862294-ed22-43c3-9a04-276bfaa4f0a5Post:01af052f-21d1-4d94-9a32-a25f048902ff">Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(</a>:
    [QUOTE]For the love of all things Holy, please do not give them a packet. 
    Posted by gurrlballa10[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well, the word "packet" might not be the right word.. All that will be included in the "packet" are a thank you note for agreeing to be my BM, telling them the date/location of the wedding, introducing girls to each other (none of them know each other), and short description of the BM dresses (as I'm having them choose their own) along with some paint chip swatches. You still think this is a bad idea? I'm just curious.... I think I'll have to communicate all these one way or the other.....? 2 of the 3 girls are OOT, and I thought this is a better way to do it rather than telling them over the phone or emailing them..?</div>
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  • vanityinkvanityink member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    My two cents, I think the packets are sort of cute. Not something I would do, but still cute. (And not nearly as bad as the infamous "you are my b*tches if you agree to be in this wedding" letter that was circulatiing a while back...) 
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    i'm doing the same thing (no MOH). I figure when/if they ask I'll explain that I couldn't pick just 1 since they all meant so much to me.
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  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-might-be-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5862294-ed22-43c3-9a04-276bfaa4f0a5Post:c7166c9a-2c16-4470-bb1b-bbd3c0876fa9">Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: This might be a dumb question.. =( : I'm doing something like this...  <a href="http://static.weddingchicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/askingyourbridesmaid.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://static.weddingchicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/askingyourbridesmaid.jpg</a> Just chaning some stuff around because I already asked them.
    Posted by minko1986[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is kinda cute, but I agree with other posters - unless you're the type to DIY everything, make picture frames and greeting cards for every holiday or something like that, then I would see it as too much. Personally, if I were having bridesmaids (I'm only having a MOH), they would laugh at this and think I was crazy. I'm more of a "let me buy you a beer I have a question for you" and then go to a dive bar and have a few rounds and say "so do you wanna be a bridesmaid or what?" type girl. But if this sort of thing fits into your personality, go with it. Otherwise it may look very over-organized, anal, controlling and like one PP said, like you are expecting bachelorette paries and showers. </div>
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  • mysi019mysi019
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-might-be-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5862294-ed22-43c3-9a04-276bfaa4f0a5Post:d4027361-0846-4090-bbf1-8748d7fb194b">Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: This might be a dumb question.. =( : Well, the word "packet" might not be the right word.. All that will be included in the "packet" are a thank you note for agreeing to be my BM, telling them the date/location of the wedding, introducing girls to each other (none of them know each other), and short description of the BM dresses (as I'm having them choose their own) along with some paint chip swatches. You still think this is a bad idea? I'm just curious.... I think I'll have to communicate all these one way or the other.....? 2 of the 3 girls are OOT, and I thought this is a better way to do it rather than telling them over the phone or emailing them..?
    Posted by minko1986[/QUOTE]


    I would love getting something like this, i dont know how many weddings that either myself or my Fi have been in that we didnt know any details, like what time the wedding even started. I was the maid of honor in a wedding for my best friend and I had no idea what time the wedding even was.Or who the other ppl standing were and there have been some ackwards moments related to that.
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  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-might-be-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5862294-ed22-43c3-9a04-276bfaa4f0a5Post:bee86ccb-ddf3-480e-82bc-8234175c9966">Re: This might be a dumb question.. =(</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: This might be a dumb question.. =( : I would love getting something like this, i dont know how many weddings that either myself or my Fi have been in that we didnt know any details, like what time the wedding even started. I was the maid of honor in a wedding for my best friend and I had no idea what time the wedding even was.Or who the other ppl standing were and there have been some ackwards moments related to that.
    Posted by mysi019[/QUOTE]
    I agree! My only WP member is my sister, so it would be silly for me to do something like this, but if I was part of a larger wedding party, I would love to have the information in a nice packet like that. Especially the paint chips. That would be so helpful. And I would like to learn about and meet the other WP members before the day of the wedding, personally.
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  • minko1986minko1986 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Thanks for all your recommendations ladies!

    I actually ended up doing what I was thinking - Thank you note (for agreeing to be my BM), place and time of the wedding, brief intro to other girls (no contact info), description of the BM dress I want (I'm having them pick their own dresses within a color family; my wedding is only 4 months away at this point). BMs know I like making paper-related stuff, so I don't think they will find this to be "not-so-her". 
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