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Catholic Ceremony vs Nuptial Mass

diamondx423diamondx423
1000 Comments
in New Jersey

So FI and I got the "OK" from my church to be married there (yay!) and now we need to decide if we want the ceremony only or a full mass. I'm not sure how I feel about it and FI just wants to do whatever makes me happy; on one hand I'd love a mass to make it feel more "sacrament-y" but on the other I'm not sure how many people would receive. The church secretary told me that I should be selfish and just do what I want and not worry about others, but I'm still not sure. For those that were married in the Catholic church did you have a full mass? Was it "worth it"? How did you decide?

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Re: Catholic Ceremony vs Nuptial Mass

  • Laurms15Laurms15 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I had a full mass I didn't really consider anything else. If people don't want to recieve they won't it doesn't take that much longer maybe 10-15min on the whole thing for blessing the bread, bringing it to the alter and the recieving portion.
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  • Tara2316Tara2316
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We got married on a Sunday and needed special permission to do a full mass (weird because its Sunday and that when mass usually is). We weren't granted permission so we just had the ceremony.  It had everything that you would have in the mass except for the Eucharist. Our ceremony was still about 45 minutes long. It still felt sacrament-y to us.

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  • NikkiPSUNikkiPSU member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    FI isn't catholic so we're not doing a the full mass.  I don't want him to not be able to make communion at his own wedding!
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  • cindy91788cindy91788
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are getting married in a Catholic church but will not be doing a full mass. For us, its just what makes us the most comfortable and makes the most sense. Don't worry about others and "be selfish". Its YOUR wedding, you should do what you want!
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We did a Mass for our wedding. The whole service only took about 45 minutes in total.

    I would've reconsidered if MH was not Catholic, or if people in our immediate families could not receive Communion.

    I have no idea how many people did or did not receive, since our backs were to the crowd. People can still come up to receive a blessing from the priest if they wish (by crossing their arms across their chests when they approach him). I never heard any complaints from non-Catholic guests. A lot of people said it was a nice service and that they enjoyed our priest.

    I would not be put off if I went to a Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, etc., ceremony and there was a ritual I could not participate in. I'm there to support my friends getting married. Their religion is their choice, and I'll sit quietly and be respectful of their beliefs if I don't share them.
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  • diamondx423diamondx423
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! FI and I are both Catholic so there's no reason we can't have a full mass, but what's really holding me back is knowing my father won't receive since he hasn't in years.The deacon is going to be calling me so I will talk to him about it.
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  • 37 Butter Knives37 Butter Knives member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm no longer a practicing Catholic, and I have no intent on taking communion. However, my FH's family has insisted we do the full mass, even though that means there will be a significant part of the ceremony that I will be excluded from. (There's a very good reason why we can't say no, but I don't want to divulge it here.)

    Is anyone going to notice that I won't be taking part in communion?
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  • dmoney79dmoney79 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we had a full mass...some people felt it was going to take too long, but i had been to a couple full mass services already that year and didn't think it was too long...
    i felt ours didn't take that long either...probably just under an hour? i had no concept of time that day...
    dh wanted it to be full mass, and as long as i was able to take communion then i was fine with it...i'm not catholic, neither is my mom's side of the family.....the priest asked me if i believe in the sacrament and i said yes (because i do, i'm christian, just not catholic) and he said i could take it...after i did, i looked behind me and my whole lutheran family was up there...
    point is, i didn't think it took too much longer, and it let our mothers do more by bringing up the gifts....or it would have allowed us to have 2 more people involved on our special day
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  • AllieCat16AllieCat16
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we had a full mass. DH is catholic but was only baptized. I grew up going to catholic school from pre school through college and religion was a very big part of my family's life. although i was not going to church every sunday, i couldn't pictuce my wedding without having the full mass. it went so fast that i couldn't even imagine just having the ceremony. many people that were not catholic that attended commented on how beautiful the mass was. do what is going to make you and your FI happy.
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