Region specific wedding traditions

Tygirljojo · March 2010

P&E had an intersting post that was featured on the front TK page: http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-region

Got me to thinking - what are ones we have? I haven't attended a wedding elsewhere so I have no basis for comparison. I know I'd never heard of a money dance or groom's cake until TK though!

Alo822 · March 2010

When I was flower girl for my aunt's wedding in the 80s, they most definitely had a dollar dance. (Wedding was in MN, though.) I remember because my dad refused to give me a dollar to dance with my new uncle! I was SO bummed. Hahaha!

I've been to several weddings with cash bars, both here in Seattle and when I lived in PA. And I've seen groom's cakes both places, though I think they are much more common in the south.

As far as NW wedding traditions, I can't really think of any, although I think it is far more common to have less-formal weddings here than it is on the east coast.

jennuinne · March 2010

I've seen money dances, money trees, etc. And I've been to weddings w/ cash bars/coupons and open bars. I think the biggest Seattle thing is in general weddings are much more laid back and informal. I would think it would be very odd to be invited to a black tie wedding in Seattle, or anything overly formal. Live music is pretty uncommon in my experience.

sarack · March 2010

I agree with Jennuinne. I've been to nice weddings but they weren't black tie by any means. I've never seen live music.. I wish we had more region specific traditions.

I think traditions are for the most part religious.

Tygirljojo · March 2010

You see, that's pretty much what I thought. Never heard of a black tie wedding (much less been to one) in this area. I think it's just more laid back out here.

melissa82 · March 2010

Hmm. I never knew people in other areas did cash bars or even served a limited selection. I've only ever been to full open bar, sit-down dinner-type weddings. Buffets are generally looked at as a "cheap" option (even though they aren't really cheaper at all!). Weddings in NJ have HUGE cocktail hours. Huge. Multiple hot and cold stations, lots of passed HDs, etc. People generally give cash/checks as gifts. I've never been to a wedding without assigned tables.

NWR: If you live in northern NJ, Manhattan is called "the city" and beach areas in NJ are called "down the shore." You can't buy wine/beer in a grocery or convenience store in NJ, only liquor stores. You can't pump your own gas. (I didn't even know how to pump gas when I went to college, my roommate had to show me! Haha.) People don't signal while driving because other people won't let you in anyway. If you're a baseball fan from NY/NJ, you must automatically despise Boston.

Tygirljojo · March 2010

Ah, I guess that's another one for us: limited bar selection (wine and beer) and buffet style meals. Although I did attend one wedding with a sit down meal, but that's one out of 6.

And the whole "the city" thing drives me a bit batty personally. CA BM does that about San Francisco and I knew of another kid in HS that did that. First day of school (for him) he had to introduce himself and (can't remember his name) but he said "I'm from the City." I just remember my classmates and I being like "Umm...what? What city? There's only a million in the world! Thanks for narrowing that down for us!" Still gets me.

dreamwinds · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:9d375854-228a-4b11-b510-cdf19eba2775">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're a baseball fan from NY/NJ, you must automatically despise Boston.
Posted by melissa82[/QUOTE]

Haha, only if you live in the New York City area. From what I understand, up-state New Yorkers and areas not near 'the city' hates the Yankees and roots for the Sox. :)

melissa82 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:f06cbb07-4b8c-4321-a95c-fe163147e1e4">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Region specific wedding traditions : Haha, only if you live in the New York City area. From what I understand, up-state New Yorkers and areas not near 'the city' hates the Yankees and roots for the Sox. :)
Posted by dreamwinds[/QUOTE]

Sorry, that's what I meant...I should have wrote NJ/NYC. =)

melissa82 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:26048724-8fab-4e03-a377-e1787d0408fc">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE] And the whole "the city" thing drives me a bit batty personally. CA BM does that about San Francisco and I knew of another kid in HS that did that. First day of school (for him) he had to introduce himself and (can't remember his name) but he said "I'm from the City." I just remember my classmates and I being like "Umm...what? What city? There's only a million in the world! Thanks for narrowing that down for us!" Still gets me.
Posted by Tygirljojo[/QUOTE]

It's not anything that I recognized as being different for a long time, which is funny to me now. I thought that's just what everyone called it. When I was in college in CT, I said "the city" and my friend said, "Hartford?" I think I said something like, "Hartford barely qualifies as a city." What a brat! LOL

In my defense, NYC is (arguably?) the "biggest" city (I mean as far as being metropolitan, cosmopolitan, consequential, etc.) in the U.S. so I think it's really the only one that should be referred to that way. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

melissa82 · March 2010

What's a money tree?

Archel · March 2010

Is it typical for the groom to see the bride before the wedding elsewhere? I feel that several northwest couples opt to do photos before the ceremony and I don't know if that's common...

melissa82 · March 2010

I think photos before ceremony is becoming more and more common these days in many areas. However, I would venture a guess that it's more common in more liberal regions, whereas I would guess it's not so much in very traditional areas (e.g., the south).

ahuette · March 2010

My mom is from Chicago, so its been interesting seeing all the things she says are tacky. She is super upset that I don't want to do a receiving line because "its just what you do". Also, I told her what a money dance is, and she almost lost it. In the midwest - especially Chicago area, it is unheard of....and she felt it was so rude to ask people to give you money to dance when they already brought you a gift.

sarack · March 2010

I can't wait to do the money dance!

) And I love buffets. I've been to one plated dinner wedding here and the food was SICk! I like to pick out what i want to eat and decide the portion size..

KST_ · March 2010

I just can't think of anything specific to PNW for our wedding traditions. Granted, I really haven't been to that many weddings, but I can't think of one that was plated dinner, all were buffets or punch and cake.

KST_ · March 2010

NON-WR: I get why people say "the Eastside" when talking about Bellevue/Factoria/Kirkland....but I never hear anyone refer to Seattle/Burien/Shoreline as "the Westside"

BrandyL10 · March 2010

I had never heard of a money dance or groom's cake either! Once I came on here, all these things popped up and I was like shiit! I have to do ALL of that! I've only been to a few weddings, but all were sit down dinners. One in Tenn. and two here. So in my eyes, mine is the first buffet one. But, I'm willing to bet when all my cousins and sis get married, it'll be buffet! That is def. a NW thing! And the hosted/cash bar, either way, is used more up here I think too. Just really opens your eyes to the way the rest of the country views wedding rituals and traditions!

BrandyL10 · March 2010

LOL! So FI just reminded me that we just attended a wedding with a buffet dinner! One of our GM. Ha, thought that was funny I already forgot! Oh well, 1 out of 4!

carrieoz_76 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:2b0439bc-3788-4df0-bef3-93050c85479a">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Region specific wedding traditions : Hah, I'm surprised she didn't say "I'm from the Bay.", I'm from the Yay Area" or something stupid like that. Everything around that area is "The City", from San Francisco all the way down to Gilroy. I would ask her "Which city?" too whenever she says she from the city. While living there, I never heard people say "I'm from The City. I always heard "I'm from (city name)."
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
<div>Well, if they were from some neighboring city but not actually the city of San Francisco, then they wouldn't have said "I'm from the city" - because they wouldn't have been. It's very specific to the city, as opposed to all the surrounding areas. </div><div>
</div><div>I grew up in the Bay Area. You say you're from the Bay Area if you're from the huge San Francisco bay area, which is much bigger than just the city of San Francisco. When you say the city, it means just San Francisco and not the surrounding areas. Side note - no one calls it Frisco.</div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and I think that San Francisco is one of the coolest cities in existence, so I don't mind that it's referred to as "the city." It kinda is. :)</div>

carrieoz_76 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:3fe9042c-8545-4faf-9e12-779907d744b0">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]IIn my defense, NYC is (arguably?) the "biggest" city (I mean as far as being metropolitan, cosmopolitan, consequential, etc.) in the U.S. so I think it's really the only one that should be referred to that way.
Posted by melissa82[/QUOTE]
I beg to differ. See previous message.<div>
</div><div>Something we can both agree on - LA will probably not ever earn the name "the city." :)
</div>

carrieoz_76 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:d3dc2ad1-50dd-4f7c-a065-7fedb1d20cef">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]NON-WR: I get why people say "the Eastside" when talking about Bellevue/Factoria/Kirkland....but I never hear anyone refer to Seattle/Burien/Shoreline as "the Westside"
Posted by KST_[/QUOTE]
Well, in E.Wa they refer to this area as the Westside. :)

Tygirljojo · March 2010

Champagne - the BM is a bit odd. When we went out to dinner with MOH last week, the BM mentioned she wanted sushi and then she asked the waitress "Do you have the 49 roll?" It took me a few seconds to comprehend what exactly she was asking for and afterwards, MOH and I were talking about it and both of us mentioned how we wouldn't go down there and ask for a Seahawk roll or Ichiroll.

Melissa - true, plus at least NYC has the word "City" in it's name.

KS - I call each place the Eastside, Seattle, South End, and Up North.

melissa82 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_region-specific-wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:5dad19d1-f282-407b-bdda-a3fa22a09be8Post:0d271acb-b63e-4fae-84bc-9558b70103ef">Re: Region specific wedding traditions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Region specific wedding traditions : I beg to differ. See previous message. Something we can both agree on - LA will probably not ever earn the name "the city." :)
Posted by carrieoz_76[/QUOTE]

Ummmmmm what about the MTV show "The City"? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

I <3 SF though. If I could pick up my fam/friends and move them, I think I'd much rather live there than NYC.

irshis20 · March 2010

I don't view the Money Dance as being a regional thing. I hear of weddings all over having it, and no matter where it is I think it's totally tacky...unless you're from a culture where it truly is something that is a part of every wedding and it has meaning beyond "Give the bride and groom money for their honeymoon." Only one wedding I've been to has had one and it was incredibly awkward - I remember thinking how rude it was and I was barely a teen at the time.

I have been to black tie weddings here, with bands, and more of the weddings have had plated meals than buffet. But I've also been to a number of less-formal, intimate, even backyard weddings here. I guess it just depends on your circle of friends and what they like to do.

However, I have NEVER been to a Seattle area wedding with a cash bar. I think that is seen as a no-no by most people.

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