So the other day, my dad came over to fill me and FI in on how much he will contribute to the wedding. Things went great and I was so excited because he offered to take care of the entire reception and ceremony costs leaving FI and I with photography, entertainment, attire....all the other small stuff. I was so happy especially since financially FI and I are having a tough time getting it together.
Well, dad calls me 2 days later and said he wanted to come and talk to FI and me about our savings plan for the wedding. So dad came over and dropped a nuclear bomb on me. He said he knows the struggles FI and I are having (because whenever my car payment is late my dad get the phone calls from the financial company) and he doesnt feel comfortable signing the contract until he knows we are financially set to take everything else on....understandable. Well, he tells FI and I that he wants us to give up our 2 bedroom condo and move in with him to his 2 bedroom apartment in West Chester....WTF!!!!!!
Now, there are pros and cons to thsi situation but it came so outta nowhere and I am having trouble being ok with this, however FI is ready to pack his bags and go! Some of the cons: its a 2 bedroom apartment half the size of where we live now. FI has a 4 year old son we have every other weekend so he would have no more bedroom and would sleep in the same room as us. His toys would also have to be kept to a minimum because space will be tight. FI and I also have a 1 year old pitbull and a cat, my dad has a 2 year old yellow lab and a cat....repeat SMALL APARTMENT!!! Its moving us further from our jobs, friends...everything we know. FI and I worked so hard our first year together to be able to afford our condo and its absolutely my dream place (for now). I feel like I've failed and I'm running home to have daddy fix my problems for me and that feeling makes me sick to my stomach. I dont wanna leave MY home.
Some of the pros: Dad wuld cover all of the bills (including food). We just need to maintain our cell phones and pay for cable since dad doesnt view it as a necessity (which is cake). We would be able to basically eliminate ALL of our debt in about a year and save major bucks for the wedding. After about 9 months, we could begin saving for a down payment on a house. Dad has offered to act as a full time live-in babysitter when needed, which is often because of FI and my schedule (he's 2nd shift, I'd 3rd). Finally, dad pretty much lives at our beach house in SIC during the summer so he wouldnt be there much.
So, after some serious thinking, FI and I decided it was really too good of an offer to give up but it's not sitting ok with me. I've lived on my own for 2 years now with FI and I dont know how Im going to cope with having my dad around so much again. It wont feel like home to me. My dad just moved there when my parent split last year so I've only been there a handful of times since he moved in. And every time I'm there, I feel like a visitor. I cant see how thats going to change. I also cant imagine scaling back all of my belonging to throw into storage and living basically out of one bedroom again. I could go on for days about all the reasons I'm upset but this really is giving FI and I a great opprotunity to have a stress free and financially stable start to our life together which is so important, especially these days. Like I said, I am so apprecaitive and fortunate that my dad is offering this to us but I could still use some more words of encouragement to help me come to terms with everything I'm giving up for my dream start in life. You ladies are great at supportive words.
