Should we just forget about it?

missy999999 · June 2010

Last July, my FI and I got engaged on our cruise. We did not have an engagement party because as soon as we got back from our trip, my college semester began. I did not have time to plan a party as I threw myself into my studies.

We thought about having our engagement party this summer since I'm on break from school. Is this tacky that it will be a year late? We haven't set a date yet either. Does this make it worse?

Thanks

FutureMrsTR · June 2010

I think you missed the boat on an engagement party.

laurenclaire1386 · June 2010

You don't throw your own engagement party. Someone throws it for you. If no one offers to throw you a party, it's totally not necessary at all. If you just want to have a party, have a party and don't make it engagement or wedding related. And yes, I think the ship has sailed on an engagement party this late in the game.

aragx6 · June 2010

I've never actually been to an egagement party -- I'm not sure I entirely get the point of them really. But, regardless, if you didn't have one it doesn't seem to me that you missed out on all that much. You'll have plenty of party planning to do once you set the date!

MattsPenguin · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-just-forget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f0cc82e-b3ba-4505-bc1f-fb0d1be18fd1Post:9006cf06-2787-4131-802d-39990c2a9292">Re: Should we just forget about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you missed the boat on an engagement party.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

HA!

Agreed on the no engagement party. We haven't had one. I'm not too sad.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2010

Throwing your own engagement party is tacky, regardless of when you throw it.

If someone else wants to throw you guys an engagement party, it will happen.

If not... then keep planning your wedding.

Engagement parties, bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers and etc. are all lovely - but none are mandatory. And none are your responsibility.

sunny1713 · June 2010

I wouldn't, for a couple of reasons:

a) You shouldn't really host your own engagement party. It should be a celebration thrown by someone else in your honor, and

b) It IS quite late to be celebrating the event of your engagement. Its not news anymore.

But, by all means just throw a party for your friends, if you would like one. It doesn't have to be strictly an engagement party, and if its the first shindig you've had since the engagement people will probably treat it a bit like one anyway. I wouldn't expect any gifts at this stage though.

Kristin&eric · June 2010

i agree its a bit late. Again i dont think you are missing anything.

missy999999 · June 2010

Thanks everyone. I'm new to this. My parents passed a while ago so it's difficult to figure out what we are responsible to do, or, not to do. I should go buy a book I guess

danieliza1127 · June 2010

There's a lot of great info here on the Knot, in the main sections.

Everyone is right though, it's too late to throw an engagement party now and typically those are thrown FOR you not by you as a way for your two families to meet.

vsgal · June 2010

Missy, you don't need a book. They will only give you ideas on how to spend more money. Just ask us and we will set you straight. Don't forget to read the sticky posts at the top of each board. They will give you great information.

[Deleted User] · June 2010

Well, we threw our own engagement party, but really that was just what we called it. It was really just a party. Plus we provided and cooked all the food and told everyone not to bring anything, gifts, food, etc. Mainly we wanted to get our friends and families together before the "big day "and just celebrate the upcoming wedding.

I'd agree that you shouldn't throw your own, but then I'd be a hypocrite. Honestly I"m not entirely sure what all an engagement party entails, which is why I say ours was more of a party since we didn't get any gifts and did all the work ourselves.

I Want Cake · June 2010

I wouldn't bother even thinking about it. My FI and I didn't have one, and don't think twice about it. What do you even do anyway besides show everyone your ring and introduce families? That's probably already happened if you're that serious, so the rest of it just sounds like an excuse to hemmorage money and throw a party.

felkels · June 2010

Our party was 6 months late, and I thought it was a bit late. My mom wanted to throw us a family party with both sides and the WP as an anniversary (of dating)/engagment party, but FMIL would not get any dates they could come from out of state, or addresses of family they needed to invite...SO, we wound up having a party in August after getting engaged on Valentines day, and having our dating anniversary in May. So we were a bit late, but it was a close intimate event, and everyone understood that it was happening because that is when everyone could get together.
If you want to throw a party, throw a party! have fun, enjoy yourself, but at this point I would not call it an engagment party unless you do it somehow like we did.

Should we just forget about it?

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