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Old Knottie Needs Officiant Advice

elkayelkay member
Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
Not for me! For a friend not on TK, her wedding will be in Rochester area. I've read the vendor review threads, only found detail on a couple of officiants.

Those of you who hired someone other than your church's minster:
 1) Would you use a first-time officiant? (backstory: the groom's cousin is pushing to have his recently certified (licensed?) father - i.e., groom's uncle - perform the ceremony so it will be a "family healing" to cure a rift caused by same uncle a few years ago!!! Bride wants to interview others, needs discussion points.)

 2) Can you tell me pros or cons about your officiant-for-hire? I know Steve Goodrum was highly recommended a few years ago when I was on the board. Who else gets good reviews?
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Re: Old Knottie Needs Officiant Advice

  • matuofmmatuofm member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We used Kirk Haas from Secular Ceremonies, and I can not praise him highly enough.  He was dignified and professional, but also very approachable and genial.  He has a background in theater, too, and can roll with whatever sort of feel you're going for.

    As for the first scenario - personally, it gave me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.  First of all, the fact that someone gets licensed doesn't mean that they're a good public speaker or that they have the experience to have thought about the things that might go wrong, they things they need to prepare for, etc. 

    And secondly, it is my personal feeling that my wedding is not a tool for the rest of the family to work out its personal drama.  I know that others would disagree with me and say that a wedding is the perfect symbolic time to bring people together, but I feel that if my family felt that way and really cared about me, they would work out the drama BEFORE I was standing at the altar, not DURING, and let the event be the first of many happy family get-togethers.

    Just my two cents.  :)
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  • Mrs0toBeMrs0toBe member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We are using Donna from LaDonna Weddings.  Our venue referred us to her. 

    1.  No, I would not use a first-timer (any type of vendor) for my wedding.  It's a very important occasion and I want someone who knows what she's doing.  I'm going to be stressed out enough.
     
    2. We chose Donna because we felt like she "got us".  She understood that we wanted a short, simple ceremony with a few religious references.  She's been excellent at communication and I feel very comfortable with her.  She's been doing this for over 20 yrs and in that time has only missed one wedding due to a broken leg.  She does have "back ups" in case it happens.
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  • Milsey32Milsey32
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're using Steve Goodrum! [: 

    EDIT: Also, no, I would not use a first-timer. While I like the idea of someone you know (i.e. family) helping out, it's not the place for fixing family drama. 
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  • elkayelkay member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all. I'll pass on your reviews. My friend will be glad for your help.

    matuofm, yes, heebie-jeebies is exactly my reaction! I know the family.
    The uncle got his "divinity degree" through a correspondence course and is actually a good public speaker. (He dropped out of Catholic seminary just before final ordination years ago, so the current course is more of a refresher.) What he is not good at is seeing any point of view except his own. He'll make it all about him, that is what he does. Because he's one of those entitled types. And I'd bet that he plans to send them a large bill too! If he does, it will be top dollar and out of line with the going rate of your officiants.
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  • butterfly617butterfly617
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We also used Kirk Haas and he was amazing. He was fantastic prior to the wedding with meeting with us and returning emails and emailing me, rehearsal dinner, but the day of the wedding he was amazing! I really felt like he was enjoying himself, not just there to do a wedding. Even in snapshots he looks so happy for us. He just has a really good feel about him!
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