Question on inviting an unusual family situation

dmbdbk · December 2009

We are working on save-the-dates and the guest list is with FI's family to fill in some of the blanks in names we had listed. FI has a cousin (I think in his early 20s) who had a child with someone and is now dating someone else. I'm thinking that we are inviting him, his current girlfriend and his child, but I have no idea how that would be worded. We are not planning on inviting his child's mother because we aren't sure if they even still speak to each other. I'm not really sure if they were in a relationship or if the child had just kind of happened. Any thoughts?

Brie2010 · December 2009

I'd address it to Cousin, Girlfriend, and Child. If you're not close with the mother, you have no reason to invite her.

georgia_bride09 · December 2009

Address it to John Smith and Jane Doe (current girlfriend) and put Jimmy Smith (baby) on the line below that. Send it to the cousin's house.

dmbdbk · December 2009

That makes sense. Hopefully FI's cousin will still be with the same gf by the time the wedding invitations are sent.

Kind of related to a post below, what happens if you put friend's name and friend's guest's name on the save-the-date and invitations and then after the invitations are sent they break up? We would still let them bring a guest, but would we then just tell them that they can bring someone else, or would the guest who's name is on the invitation be offended even if they wouldn't be invitied if they weren't with our friend?

georgia_bride09 · December 2009

In that case, just send the invite with John Doe and Guest (try to find out the new person's name, or if unsure you can use guest). Since you already allotted a space for a guest, I'd still allow them to bring one.

Pirata13 · December 2009

Don't include gf/bf on STDs. For our friends who are just dating, we put just the friend's name on invite. If, when the invites are going out, these friends are still dating that person/someone, we will "& Guest" them. Otherwise our single friends are not being invited with a guest.

squirrly · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-inviting-unusual-family-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cd2cfb88-72ad-42b3-9dc6-7dafe4b89b91Post:7e010a89-5e04-4c78-85ab-11f79cc76846">Re: Question on inviting an unusual family situation</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't include gf/bf on STDs. For our friends who are just dating, we put just the friend's name on invite. If, when the invites are going out, these friends are still dating that person/someone, we will "& Guest" them. Otherwise our single friends are not being invited with a guest.
Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]

This, unless they're OOT. If they're going to make travel arrangements, they need to know if they should make arrangements for two. In that case, I wouldn't put a name on it, but I would put a note inside or call to let them know you'd be happy to have them bring a guest.

Catwoman708 · December 2009

For STDs you can send it to"

"Mr. Cousin Smith and Guest
and Junior Smith"

For invitations, if they do not live together, find out the GF's name and address and send her a separate invitation, and send one to cousin and child at his address.

If they are living together, address it

"Mr. Cousin Smith and Ms. Jane Jones
and Junior Smith"

dmbdbk · December 2009

Thanks for the advice! I have no idea if they are living together. Hopefully FI's parents can help us when they fill in the addresses we're missing.

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