So, pretty much my whole life, my mom has made it clear that she thinks marriage is a bad idea. She's been married for over 40 years, so apparently she has her reasons. When I got engaged, I assumed she wouldn't be that interested, so I picked a dress without her. Plus we didn't really tell anyone for the first couple of months because my fiance wanted to get my parents permission first.
We got engaged kind of on a whim, so he wanted to ask for permission and then propose more formally. He actually asked my mom and she basically shrugged and said "whatever". Didn't get excited or anything. When I talked to her about it, she told me she only cared about the dress and the cake, she didn't care about the planning.
I took her to see the dress because I felt bad that I had picked one without her. She paid part of the deposit for me, which I was grateful for. But instead of telling me that I looked good or anything close to gushing...she told me that she really had no opinion because it wasn't her kind of dress. I kept asking what she thought of it on me, and she kept giving me the same answer.
Cut to Christmas, we were talking to my family about the wedding, and she made a joke about the planning. I commented on how she had said she didn't care about anything but the dress and the cake and she got really quiet.
A couple of days later, she told me that I was very rude and I hurt her feelings. Ok, I hurt her feelings by repeating exactly what she said to me.
We took her to see the original venue and she was so excited about it, and then got upset with me for giving it up because I couldn't afford it, and the coordinator was rude. That's the only thing she's had any emotion about.
If I try to talk to her about plans, she'll get excited for a second, and then shrug it off and tell me everything is up to me. One day I had a complete meltdown because EVERYTHING in my life was going wrong, and as soon as I mentioned the wedding, which wasnt even the bulk of the issue I was having, she snapped at me. She told me that the wedding was NOT about me, and that I needed to get over myself. Last time I checked, no one in my family was helping me out monetarily, except for what she paid on my dress.
If I talk about my wedding at all, my family just tells me to scale back all my plans and do something smaller. I've already cut the guest list, skipped out on two venues I really wanted, pushed the wedding back another 6 months, and skimmed my dress down to the bare essentials.
Either they want to be involved or they don't. And my whole life my mom has acted like she isn't interested in things, like my prom, and then when she does get involved, she guilt trips me over not including her sooner, when she said she wanted no part of it. Now it's happening with my wedding. I'm not trying to be a bridezilla, but I've been called one at least ten times.