I'm asking this mostly because out of curiosity I just plugged rough numbers into TK's budget tool and was a bit shocked at the outcome... Did you guys all set strict budgets? How are you paying for things/is anyone contributing?
FI and I are lucky that both our parents are well off and paying for our wedding. They're pretty much following the traditional roles of which side pays for what. Neither side ever gave us numbers in which to stay within. They basically just said don't put us in the poorhouse. I mean, they obviously have a budgets in mind because my parents ruled out our first choice venue based on price (I ruled it out actually out of respect, knowing they would have said no, which they did when I mentioned it later). I was going to guess that the wedding, total, would be in the 15-17K range, for everything. But I just put rough numbers in TK's budget thingy and it's actually like 20K. And that's not including the rehearsal dinner or our honeymoon. I also left some slots blank, like the groom accessories, which is going to be covered by an additional 5K his mother just offered up a few days ago. It's going to end up being over 20K. That blows my mind! And that's the actual total, it estimated we should expect to pay 31K, which is outlandish, I mean... that's a third of what we paid for our house.
We are paying for a few things ourselves... the DJ, lighting, favors, save the dates, invitations, wedding party gifts, small miscellaneous things like that.
Sorry if I sound totally ignorant or like a snob because someone else is forking over the cash, but no one whose paying ever gave us numbers, so we've just been trying to make respectfully priced decisions and if somethings above what our parents are willing to pay they've spoken up.
About a month ago we were at my dad's car dealership because FI was buying a new car and we were sitting with my dad in his office and his phone made a dinging noise and he was like "hear that sound? That's the sound of $3500 hitting my Subaru account. You know what that money's for? Your wedding." And FI made a joke about going to see him more often if money was just going to appear for us every time. He's such a butt sometimes.