Sand Ceremony

Sierra4 · April 2011

We will be doing a Sand Ceremony, rather than the unity candle, etc.

We will be using 3 colors (1 for myself, 1 my future hubby, and 1 for our son), rather than 2.

Looked on online, and some prices on vases, sand ceremony kits, etc are pricey.
I am going to look at hobby lobby, and other places.

But would love to get some feedback from other brides who did or will be doing the sand ceremony as well!

Would like to hear about wording choices, etc. too!

Thanks! =]

cschuma2 · April 2011

I personally would just do the two colors of sand - one for you and one for FI. A marriage is between two adults, not two adults and a child. Just as his name isn't on the marriage license, your son shouldn't be saying vows or participating in the sand ceremony. There are some other great ways to include him. Instead,have him be the ring bearer, include him in lots of photos, dance with him at the reception.

As for wording, google "sand ceremony" for a lot of ideas. Also, talk to your officiant to see if he/she has done this previously and already has an idea as to what to say.

kellya01 · April 2011

For our sand ceremony, we purchased 2 smaller vases and 1 large center vase from Hobby Lobby. Vase cost total: $6. Purchased 2 colors of sand (white, and green). Sand total cost: $4. Borrowing a table at the church for putting the sand set: free. Total cost, $10. Similar set sold as a kit was over $30. YAY!

I've heard of the unity sand as a place to involve children, but honestly, I'm not a fan. I may be in the minority on here, but I believe that the wedding ceremony, and if you do a unity ceremony, is only for the bride and groom. The place to include something special for the children might be to have a "family vase" at the reception and do it there, if your heart is set on including the children in the day. It's totally commendable and very thoughtful to find ways to include your children, I just grow concerned for any living biological mothers or fathers in those situations, because it's like you're saying to the child "here, we're your new mom and dad" and it can be a very confusing thing for children.

That's just my opinion, however, so take it as you wish. Definitely bargain-hunt for 50% of prices on the vases and sand at Hobby Lobby -- that's the cheapest I've found!! :-)

iloveu4ever · April 2011

I want to do this too but gonna think about changing our colors

Lizdc · April 2011

We did it with 4 colors. That part of the ceremony was about blending families and was explained clearly as different from other parts that were just about us. My friend who was our officiant held the container and explained it. All of poured in some in layers. Then we poured together. We had white, black, red sand. Plus sand from lovers key beach were the event was held. We got the vases from walmart. After the kit I purchased broke on the plane. Also I got a big vase with a lid which helped bringing it back on the plane. Our family and friends said it was very touching. Both our boys thanked me for having them in it.

FutureMrsSheeler · April 2011

I am doing two colors, but that is sweet to inculde your son. I bought all of my stuff from Hobby Lobby for half off and it was pretty cheap!

mizjodi · April 2011

We ARE including df's two sons, because yes, while we're blending our two lives, the children are a HUGE part of that blending, so to exclude them from that isn't right in my mind. But, that's the good relationship we all have.

Moving on, what we're doing is using shadow boxes (which FFIL is making, even cooler!). One will just be for the sand, and he'll make two more for photos later, which we'll attach with hinges.

You can go to hobby lobby, Kohl's anywhere, and find some nice 5"x7" shadow boxes for relatively cheap!

Don't let someone talk you out of including ds in the ceremony! There is nothing wrong with that, and perhaps I'm getting on a soapbox here, but it IS the blending of more than two lives when it's mixed families coming together. IMO, it's selfish not to consider the kids

Sierra4 · April 2011

We for sure want him included. He is a huge part of both of our lives.
He has his life with his mother, her husband, and their family.
He has the same with us, and in no way do I want him to feel excluded. We go the extra steps to include him all the time. I love him like my very own. =]
We have waited and scheduled the wedding around him as well. We did not feel right getting married without him being with us. So now my fall wedding dream, is a summer wedding! lol

Something I have considered is doing a full sand ceremony with 2 parts.
Maybe one to unite the 2 of us. Then one to blend the family, that will be ongoing as we have and adopt other children and they can contribute too.
Just thought of this idea today, so gotta discuss.
Another reason I like this idea is because colors don't have to be so specific for the family one.

Oh and those Hobby Lobby prices sound wonderful! Fits right in with our budget! =]

mizjodi · April 2011

When kids (especially young ones) are involved, it's a completely different story! You have to be willing to fully accept them as your own. I believe firmly (sorry if I step on some toes here, wait, no I'm not!) that if you can't handle including your partner's children, you have no business marrying someone with kids!

Find someone without kids and start from scratch. Takes a special type to blend families successfully!

So good for you Sierra! You sound a lot like me in that regard

planetkari · April 2011

I'm doing a sand ceremony, and we're doing something less traditional. I found a sand ceremony set with a lid for the center vase (important because we're having a destination wedding and need to get the jar and contents home without spilling) and 6 pouring vases. We are using three colors of sand: pink to represent our love for each other, orange to represent the love and support of our families, and silver to represent the love and support of our friends. We will each our our own sand into the vase, representing our two lives joining together in marriage. FI feels that this is more meaningful to him than the traditional ceremony and I'm fine with it. We aren't super traditional people so we don't need to do the sand ceremony in a traditional way.

notmpocc · April 2011

I got my vases for my sand ceremony at Dollar tree for a total of $3 they also have select sand (not a lot of colors) Also you could catch the 50% bridal event at hobby lobby and get the sand or vases as well

i then just used sculpy clay and made tree branches and our intials on the vaeses ( we have a tree theme) you could also use glass paint and paint a heart or design or stencil something on them to give them more detail

Sierra4 · April 2011

Thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it.

Mizjodi, I totally agree. If a man or woman, or both have children there needs to be acceptance. =]

Planetkari, that is a wonderful idea! Sounds very special!

I am excited to set out on shopping for the sand ceremony supplies.

J&K10910 · April 2011

I got vases at the dollar store, and sand at Hobby Lobby.

$8 total. A little more for another color of sand (the sand was $2.50).

jleahd33 · May 2011

I only have one tip to add. We are also doing the unity sand. One trick to keep the sand in place after the ceremony is to add a little water to the vase, it will set the sand and make it difficult to destroy and a keepsake forever.

Sand Ceremony

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