Alcohol at Reception????

Re: Alcohol at Reception????

• cronin85

  

  July 2012

  I think this is a very sensitive topic.  In my opinion I would always have an open bar at a wedding (again, just my opinion).  The situation with your dad is a whole different story.  Do you know for a fact it was alcohol withdrawal? Have you had a serious talk with our dad?  I think this more of a family "meeting" sitation.  This goes beyond the question of serving alcohol at your wedding; alcoholism is serious thing... I would definitely discuss this with your father, then your family.
  
  Good Luck

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• CharlotteStar

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  Sensitive subject indeed. Personally, I think it's a good idea to have a bar available at a wedding, be it cash or open. I mean, just because one person, in your case your dad, has a problem doesn't mean you should drop the bar entirelyyou do have other guests to keep in mind. It's kinda like saying I'm not going to have cake available because my uncle has diabetes. However, it would be in your best interest to have a serious talk with your dad about it. Explain that you are having/want to have a bar and want to make sure he's going to be able to handle that. If he insists that he's fine, then I'd go ahead with a bar. You could always designate a close family member or friend to discreetly keep an eye on him. Good luck!

  

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• Kello4221

  

  July 2012

  Alcoholism is really tough.  My Mother is a functioning alcoholic (meaning she only abuses it in private and it doesn't affect her going to work, etc) so I understand your concern.  We have an open bar though.  Whether or not you serve alcohol that one day will not affect your dad's possible addiction.  If someone is addicted they will drink anyways (before hand, bring a flask, whatev).  If they are recovering it may create temptation, but they need to deal with temptation daily, and I don't think that is big enough of a dilemma to withold from all other guests.
  
  Sorry to hear you have to deal with that.  I know it sucks

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• QueerFemme member

  

  July 2012

  ugh.. yeah... this is tough.  I have friends that are sober, and they sometimes give me dirty looks for having a cocktail. I have to remind them, that I am not the one with an alcohol problem.  I can have one or two drinks, and not get stupid.
  
  I guess I feel similar in this situation. Do you make a decision to not have a bar because one person (even if that person is dad) has a drinking problem?    And, if dad wants a drink, he is going to figure out a way to have a drink, whether you provide alcohol to the rest of your guests or not. 
  
  I don't think liquor is a requirement to have fun at a wedding, but I think the receptions without it usually end earlier.

  

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  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

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• kikirst33 member

  

  July 2012

  As PP said this is a hard decision.

  
  

  I recently went to a "dry" wedding - note that dry is in quotes becuase most of the guest were going outside to their cars to add a little something to their glasses.  At any given time about half the guests were either outside smoking or running to their care to fill their glass.

  
  

  
  

  

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• calindi member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_alcohol-at-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:14c910aa-b808-447f-80bd-dec7e74dd195Post:091e2cd0-3122-4392-92c5-65060b1f0694">Re: Alcohol at Reception????</a>:
  [QUOTE]Alcoholism is really tough.  My Mother is a functioning alcoholic (meaning she only abuses it in private and it doesn't affect her going to work, etc) so I understand your concern.  We have an open bar though.  Whether or not you serve alcohol that one day will not affect your dad's possible addiction.  If someone is addicted they will drink anyways (before hand, bring a flask, whatev).  If they are recovering it may create temptation, but they need to deal with temptation daily, and I don't think that is big enough of a dilemma to withold from all other guests. Sorry to hear you have to deal with that.  I know it sucks :(
  Posted by Kello4221[/QUOTE]
  
  This, definitely this.  My FFIL is a semi-functional alcoholic, and there will be beer at the wedding.  We're pouring all drinks into plastic cups anyway, so I've instructed the bartender to switch to non-alcoholic beer if anyone starts getting too drunk, but that's more for sloppiness than anything else.  It won't prevent people from drinking in the first place.
  
  I suggest you check out AL-ANON meetings in your area - it's for family and friends of people with alcohol (and drug) related addictions.  It would be a great way for you to get some support and advice, and perhaps a little clarity.  The biggest thing they push is to let go of control - you can't stop them, and you didn't make them like this.  Even if you have a totally dry reception, a true alcoholic will find a way to have alcohol, even if that means bringing it themselves.  By letting go of that responsibility and worry, you should be able to feel more at ease with the situation.  He's your Dad, and you love him no more or less for any issues he has.  Ultimately, they're his issues and you can be there to support him if he ever wants to get help, but until then there's really nothing you can do.

  
  
  
  
  
  

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