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size of ceremony for my 2nd, his 1st

kendra525kendra525 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
My Mom seems to feel that as I have been married before (it will be 10 yrs previous by wedding date) that I should have a small understated ceremony.  As this is his 1st time being married and there were quite a few things I was unhappy with the first time around (obviously, lol) I don't agree.  What are your thoughts?
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Re: size of ceremony for my 2nd, his 1st

  • madibellemadibelle
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i think if you are paying for the wedding yourself that you can do whatever you want. You guys as a couple can choose anything that you want for your wedding, big, small, medium, or out of control.
    Have fun planning your big day
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It's your day do it your way!  Mom's don't always realize the influence that have on their adult daughters.... As those on this board will tell you the only rules for a 2nd, 3rd or ?? marriage is that there are no rules!!

    Enjoy planning your special day!
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  • kendra525kendra525 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies. We will be paying the majority of the wedding, I've told my parents if they feel like contributing, that I would appreciate it, but ultimately, I do not want to have someone else holding the "purse strings" and having to answer to them for every little thing.
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Maybe you could explain to her the tradition that mothers don't get any say in weddings after the first one?  ;-)

    Seriously, a second wedding can be anything you want it to be.  And in your case, as in mine, it was actually a first wedding for one of the partners, anyway.
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You do it your way.  Period.  Well,  your as in you and your fiance, of course!

    This is my third wedding, my fiance's first.  We're around a 200 guest list, a budget that exceeds the "average," and the reception is full of flash and hype.  It's what we want and it's what we're going to have.  My Mother thinks it is silly, but she thinks *I* am silly, so it's just par for the course haha.

    Don't sacrifice celebrating your new life with your soon-to-be husband just because you've had a previous marriage.   This marriage deserves no less excitement.  I'm very pro showers, parties, and everything else for a second (or more) wedding, in part BECAUSE it isn't the first one.  I'd never want my fiance to think I felt celebrating our love was less of a big deal than celebrating past ones.

    Good luck and congratulations!
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Do what is affordable and comfortable for you and your FI.  Wear white, wear red, invite 40 or 240 people, toss your bouquet or not.  There really aren't any 'rules' for second weddings.  Have a meaningful ceremony and a fun party.
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  • bklyn0671bklyn0671
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    This is my 2nd and his first, my first wedding I had five people. I was married in the courthouse, so I always felt cheated out of a beautiful wedding I know its just one day and the marriage should of meant more.  Now my Fiance wants me to have what I didnt , although I tell him he can not make up to me what I wasnt given. That is my past and we are moving forward.  So we are going to have a wedding  because even my parents believe I deserve it, I finally found a man who truly loves and respects me.

    do what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. 

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  • _Dagney__Dagney_ member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm a pretty traditional girl, but honestly, this is your wedding, and you get to have any style you want.  as long as you arent expecting your parents to shell out for another huge event (seems like thats not the case) and traditionally you shouldnt expect a second wedding gift from anyone who attended your first (although, honestly, I give a gift for every wedding, cause who really keeps track of that?)

    I was all worried about having a "big" second wedding, but it's my Fi's first and MY first wedding had 11 guests, so I decided not to feel guilty. :)
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  • kendra525kendra525 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is very good advice from everyone, so thank you. I of course don't expect my parents to do a whole lot monetarily, they'd be happy to help with some things, but it really is up to him. My soon to be husband wants what makes me and both of us happy. I think I do have an advantage as far as what works, what doesn't...a good idea of how to plan etc. We are wanting have an outdoor, very ethereal wedding, that reflects who we are as a couple. 

    That he cares about supporting me and doing special things means everything.  A $25000 budget is reasonable for us...maybe we'll end up spending less, who knows. Anyone that went to my first wedding is free to give a gift if they would like and are honestly very happy for how things are now.  When I split with my ex-husband, I let him keep the majority of the things I brought into the marriage, aside from some personal things, or things that were obviously picked out by myself, because I wanted to leave things amicable, for the sake of our children.  I am so happy, so very excited!  I hope the rest of you ladies get the wedding of your dreams, whatever those may be :)
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