Memory candles

Re: Memory candles

• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2013 edited January 2013

  To be honest, I'm not a fan.  Not that your deceased loved ones don't deserve some recognition at your wedding, but I would not do it in the form of "memory candles" or any really conspicuous means. 
  
  You might instead give them tributes in a wedding program, carry or wear something that belonged to them or that had meaning to them, use a flower or other decoration they liked, serve a food or drink they liked, play a song or dance they liked, or something like that-it recalls the loved ones to mind but the reason for their absence isn't so in-your-face.  Being too obvious about that inspires sadness on what should be a happy occasion.

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• HobokensFury member

  

  January 2013

  Ditto PP. Memorials at weddings cast a sadness on a happy event. Skip them.

   
   

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• itzMS member

  

  January 2013

  Agreed with PPs. My father is deceased, and I did a few private tributes to him (I wore the pearls he gave my mom, wrapped some fabric from a dress he bought me when I was a teenager around my bouquet, etc). I feel that candles/pictures/prayers to the deceased make the wedding feel like a wake or memorial service thus overshadowing the happiness of the newly married couple.

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  January 2013

  I think that if you have ONE (1) memorial candle in memory of loved ones who have passed on, but not mention them by name, it's ok- but again, check with the families. The guestbook table seems like it would be an ok place. You dont want it to stand out. I agree with privately carrying things that belonged to the deceased- it will be meaningful for the two of you, and that's what matters.

   

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2013

  II am not a big fan of the memorial candles, either. My mother is deceased, and so we left what would have been her chair empty at the ceremony and tied a few nylon butterflies to it b/c she loved butterflies. Afterward, we took some pics with one of the butterflies in my bouquet. 

  
  

  My dad had asked if I wanted to do something for my grandparents who are deceased (3 of 4) as well, but we opted not to because then it starts sort of overtaking things, you know?  Like PPs said, it's unpleasant to call too much attention to the deceased at your wedding. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• alyssemillerwedding

  

  January 2013

  I think it's a beautiful idea to have a memorial candle, but I don't know if you need to have a big picture of the recently passed.
  
  At my wedding, we're having a "family table" that will have a memorial candle as well as pictures of my parents and grandparents wedding, my grandparent's old cake topper and other random pictures and artifacts of love in our families. I think making the table about family in general, instead of one specific person, is a great way to keep it a happy memorial instead of a sad one.

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