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Holiday Help

lookame3639lookame3639 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
in Chit Chat
So my fiance and I are both very family oriented. My family has always had some set traditions especially during Christmas. My family holds a Christmas Eve party with all my family from cousins to grandparents. Theres a dinner which everyone brings a dish and my mom makes a honeybaked ham and theres a gift exchange. On Christmas morning my parents have a huge exchange with my brother and sister and our kids they make breakfast and everyone takes turns opening one gift at a time then later in the day to celebrate my birthday(which is on Christmas day) my mom cooks a nice dinner for the family and they have a cake for me. My fiance wants to go over to his family's place as well. I don't see how we cn do the stuff with my family, take my son to his father's and go to his family's all on christmas day. I said we could go to his family's on christmas eve before the party but he wants to go on Christmas day and he got very angry. I told him everything we had to do on christmas day and he just walked out. Thanksgiving is hard enough going to both places at once, seriously only spent 2 hours at my parents which was enough time to eat and leave....didn't even have time for pie. Trying to shove everyone in on christmas day is going to be exahsting. I guess I thought our day would go with us having christmas morning at our place just the three of us then go to my parents and open presants there and have dinner then take my son to his father's. Any suggestions would help. I also don't mean to sound selfish it's just dinner is the only thing that even remotly feels like it's my birthday...everyone forgets and I alwas get the this presant is BOTH Christmas and birthday...it really sucks
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Re: Holiday Help

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    Pirata13Pirata13
    First Comment

    Compromise, compromise, compromise. You can't offer a couple hours on Christmas Eve and expect him to spend the rest of the time at your family's. If the dinner is that important to you , you need to forego the breakfast, get your son to his dad's early, go to your FI's family's and have a late bday dinner at your parents. 


    And maybe you need to consider rotating Thanksgiving--one year at your parents', his the next. And maybe the same with Christmas Eve & Christmas.  It is difficult to juggle--FI & I are going to have challenges too since his family is 2 hours away and we both often work Christmas Eve and/or the day after.


    You need to compromise here, FI is getting the short end of the stick.

    Crosswalk
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    lookame3639lookame3639 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    I know it sounded selfish, my original post. I guess the hardest part of everything is trying to fit in everyone...and it's even harder when his family won't give us a notice of what they'll be doing till like a day beforehand and it's all based on when his brother and his family can do things. I'm willing to compromise some time on Christmas day if they had some sort of schedual laid out (everyone will be at this place at this time) doesnt even have to be an event like dinner or anyhing just a generalized time and place which everyone would be around. I guess I also feel rather uncomfortable being around his family because they treat my son and I differently from everyone else. I don;t mind being treated sepret from his family, it's different though when my son watches everyone else open presants and he always looks so sad and confused. My family always goes great lengths to make everyone feel included, they buy my fiance as much as they buy everyone else. I'm not oposed to not celebrating my birthday. I've grown used to that not ever going to the way I plan. When we originally talked about where we were going to spend our time I said we could skip my birthday dinner and he got rather upset about that. *sigh* I guess we'll have to have another discussion
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