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Family friend to officiate our wedding - thoughts?

hkgabbyhkgabby
in Christian Weddings

We have a very close family friend who we would like to officiate our wedding.  He is not currently a licensed officiant, but we just feel it would be a more personal touch to have him perform our ceremony rather than a random pastor from a local church as we currently are not attending.

We asked him to perform the ceremony and he initially agreed, but is now hesitant about the online ordination process that we recommended.  He is a man with a strong christian background and while there are many online programs that offer christian officiation he is a bit weary about simply becoming ordained online as he feels it's not enough to simply sign a form and pay some money for a certificate saying he is qualified for such a significant event in our lives.

While I somewhat agree that it is strange that all it takes is a signature, I am caught between a rock and a hard place.  We really want our ceremony to be personal and really want this family friend to do the officiation, but we don't want to ask him to do something he is not comfortable with (the online ordination) and at this point with the wedding 8mo. away it doesn't seem realistic for him to become ordained through a church.

Any thoughts on the process or other options? 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
-H

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Re: Family friend to officiate our wedding - thoughts?

  • bobtouseybobtousey
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Most other options would take a good while.  Most Christian jurisdictions require a discernment process as well as preparation that would likely run past your wedding date.  I understand and share his concerns however, he is doing it as a one time event and it seems that he is Christ centered and you have a desire to have Christ included in the ceremony, I think under those circumstances it would be appropriate.  Another option is for you to have the "legal" ceremony at the courthouse or by a willing minister and then at your "wedding" have him officiate because you have already been "legally" married he would not need to be ordained because from a legal point of view he is just officiating your renewal of vows.  Hope that helps.  If he wants ideas on how to put the ceremony together here is a helpful link http://www.christianlifeevents.org
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    That's a tough one.  Is it possible that you could have an ordained minister there with him to do part of the ceremony and then he wouldn't have to be ordained?  For example, your friend could do the vows and the ordained minister could do the other parts.  I am just trying to think outside the box and don't know if that would work, but I'm wondering which parts an ordained minister actually has to speak in order for the marriage to be legal.  I don't know who you would ask - maybe any pastors that you know from the past??  I tried calling my sister who is ordained but she wasn't sure.  Maybe you could try this route.
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