Advice please?

lela1208 · March 2012

Okay. so i was planning a wedding for sept 22 2012 and well cancelled it due to my fiance's career starting up and take some stress off him.
well hes beein telling me lately to get this wedding going. so here i am doing this all last minute. i don't want to really involve him and let him be stress free.
but you see, the problem here is were trying to keep a budget of 4,000 right? its going to be a simple outside garden wedding, and my family and his family mentions to ask family members to be god parents of like the Food, dj, drinks, etc to help us out a bit.. you get me? and i dont think its a bad idea, but the HUGE problem is im afraid to ask.
do any of you know a good approach on how to ask someone to participate? i am beyond embarassed!

SCogs18 · March 2012

My friend did an outdoor wedding in October and she planned everything in 3 months, so it's very doable, but she was rather stressed out. Her budget was very similar to yours. Her grand total was about $3,500.

She did the ceremony outside in a gazebo at a public park ($50 rental fee, but open to the public--no randos wandered around though). She rented plastic folding chairs for guests. Her only florals were 3 bouquets, cake flowers, and 6 very small centerpieces in normal vases at the reception.

She bought fabric table clothes for the picnic tables (reception was in a storm shelter at the park where she married) using 20% off coupons at BBB. Most public parks do not allow alcohol, so they just had a cooler of non-alcoholic drinks. For food she had cake, a fruit platter with dip, a smoked fish (whole), crackers & cheese, and ham biscuits (welcome to the south).

They didn't have music or dancing, but if you are on a tight budget, you could use an iPod. Sometimes that works really well, and sometimes it doesn't.

You can plan your whole wedding without making your friends and family your vendors, but I think it would be okay to ask someone like your mom. I'd try really hard not to ask "so and so to bake the cake" though. A guests job is to attend the party and have fun, not be the music's babysitter, ya know?

Oh! And keep your guest list modest! She invited maybe 65 people? The fewer guests, the fewer people to feed. You can also get a great deal on inviations using VistaPrint, which is what my friend did.

The Budget Weddings board can probably help you out a lot too.

lela1208 · March 2012

Thank you so much. wow!! "Sigh" feel alot better from your post. glad to know theres some good ideas out there! i am having around 80 guest. my mom already got my dress and dj covered. I really dont like to ask anyone for help so i was pretty stuck! thanks!

SCogs18 · March 2012

Oh good! I'm glad you feel better! You can totally do it!

morenachica110 · March 2012

Scogs had some great ideas. My mom had a ceremony in a public park and no one was creepy about it either. FYI.

I would also talk to your FI though. I mean, my FI gets stressed about WR stuff fairly easily, but we talked about trying to keep it to need to know stuff (like he's doing invites and needs to go register with me, etc) because I can't do it all alone. I think if you talk with him about needing some help, but worrying about stressing him, he'll let you know wha he can and can't handle. It'll be good to be able to support each other and this is a good place to start.

mamameech · March 2012

I'm sure it's doable but you need to do this together. I totally understand not wanting to stress him out but what about you? This isn't just your day (well we all know that it kinda is LOL) so no matter what, he should still be involved.

Susan had some great ideas so hopefully you can pull from her advice. Good luck!

calindi · March 2012

You can totally do this! Just make lots of lists, set deadlines, and delegate to those who volunteer to help you. I don't think you can really go to family and friends and go, "Hey, can you do this for me?" But by all means, if someone says, "Is there anything I can do to help?" then take them up on it!

There was a blog titled "2000dollarwedding.com" but it doesn't seem to be working right now - I had a bigger budget, but I used it for inspiration on prioritizing. It really gets to the nitty-gritty of what a wedding is truly supposed to be (hint: about you and your groom getting married) and what it doesn't need to be (an expensive production).

Basically, think about what is important to both you and your groom and what you can live without. For us, we aren't hiring a limo at all because it wasn't necessary for us. We're not having a cake because we don't like cake and find them overpriced - we're doing strawberry shortcakes instead, which are MUCH cheaper!

You can use an iPod with someone's guitar speakers instead of a DJ - just appoint a friend to control the music or else people think they can change it at will. You can find creative ways to cater the event - maybe do a brunch wedding, where alcohol is much less expensive (mimosas and bloody marys are cheap and easy to pre-make) and food is really cheap. Or do alcohol free and just have a variety of mock-tails - peach punch, sparkling berry spritzer, etc. Minimize flowers to only where necessary - they're expensive and temporary. Other items can often be re-sold, or you can even purchase used from other brides, so try to focus on those. I had a friend with a book themed wedding (that was not budget by any means) and she had no flowers as centerpieces, and it looked gorgeous with piled old books and candles, and a few feathers!

For more specific tips, check out:

http://500dollarwedding.blogspot.com/p/resources.html

BMcLeodTeam · March 2012

To cut down on flower costs, use silks from Michaels, if you get them with the coupons you save a TON and you can possibly resell the bouquets after as well

lela1208 · March 2012

Wooooo hooo!!!
Thank you Laides!! this was way too helpful!! & my cousin just messaged me on facebook that she will freely volunteer to help budget my wedding. shes a wedding planner but lives miles away but she said well go over it every week! help is on the way! ha.
Thanks again ladies.. have fun with your planning.. 5 months to go!
yay!!

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