Guest List Questions

Re: Guest List Questions

• Sassenach1743 member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  1. You do not indicate whether your guest will get a plus one on the Save the Date. This is for the actual invitation. The Save the Date is addressed only to the person that you are inviting. 

  
  

  When invitations go out you can contact those single friends and family members to confirm if they are in a relationship. If so, ask for the person's name and address the invitation to your friend and their plus on by name (not "and guest"). 

  
  

  If asked why you are inquiring about their relationship status, then you can let them know that your guest list and reception space is limited but you still want to be sure you can accommodate them as a couple and/or social unit, because it's polite. This will help weed out the "random" plus ones. 

  
  

  *Side note: Technically, it is considered rude and presumptuous for your single friends to assume that they can bring a random date to your wedding before even receiving the actual invitation, which would be the place to indicate whether or not they are in fact being invited with a plus one or not. Some people can afford to give all their single friends a "plus one" whether they are in a relationship or not, others cannot and this is where the specifics on inviting social units (i.e. couples) comes from.

  
  

  Although some may think this is borderline judgmental of relationship status, I've only heard of using this approach to ensure you invite properly. If your friend is truly single and will also know other friends at your wedding then I think it's fine to invite them solo.

  
  

  2. Don't give too many details about your wedding. Limit your wedding talk at work to general specifics (e.g. date and place). If you're not planning on inviting anyone from work then try not to talk about it because it's rude. If they ask then just tell them that planning is going well and then change the subject. Don't go into specifics, even if they start asking... just tell them that you either havn't gotten to that part of your planning yet or that you've got it all handled. By politely and generically acknowledging their inquiries and then changing the subject (you may need to do this several times) they will soon get the hint and stop asking.

  
  

  If you do decide to invite some co-workers to your wedding then try to stick with VIPs only (e.g. your closest co-workers or maybe just your boss, if you're being political) or invite in circles (e.g. your specific team members or shift partners, etc.) and when you release the invites, do it privately and ask them not to mention it or any plans to attend at work, as you weren't able to invite everyone.

  
  

  Basically, be polite and straight forward and people will understand your intentions.

  
  

  

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• sparkles776 member

  

  February 2013

  Dont feel bad about your friends presuming they are going to get a plus one. Just dont include and guest on the invitation. If you have friends in a serious relationship then yes they should have a plus one, but if not, dont sweat it.
  
  

  

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• lexi913

  

  February 2013

  We are dealing with the same issue with FI's friends, the majority of them are single guys and most have never been to a wedding outside of family (we are the first in our group to get married)  so I'm already predicting that even though the invitation will be addressed to "Mr. John Smith" (no and guest) they will want to bring a random date...There are just too many single people to let them all bring random dates, not to mention there are people that my parents and FI's parents left off the list bc we were running out of room...I'm sure it will be an awkward talk if they respond for two people but it is what it is..they will understand when they are planning a wedding!  Also, when chosing the invitation wording for the response cards, I didn't choose one that had a line for "numer of guests__" I think it just says M______ will_____attend

  

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• Meghannsix member

  

  February 2013

  I agree with PP's, particularly Brita.  I'm facing a similar situation at work, I also work in a hospital, so I'm keeping wedding talk to a minimum there, and only inviting people who I have spent time with outside of the hospital.

  

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