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Sand Ceremony and Adult Children

linder53linder53 member
10 Comments
in Second Weddings
Hi all.  We are getting married in Hawaii and then having a receptioin back home in Phoenix.  He has 2 adult children and I have 2 adult children.  Since not all of them can make it to Hawaii, we want to do a sand ceremony at the reception so that all of then can participate.  I am having a hard time coming up with sand ceremony wording that includes adult children.  Ideas anyone?
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Re: Sand Ceremony and Adult Children

  • cnorthamcnortham member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi i am getting married for the second time and have 3 children from my first marriage and then my fiance and i have one together so we are doing the sand ceramony with all the children as well. We are calling a family blending ceremony, No words the ceremony is self explanitory.
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  • SoSaysTaraSoSaysTara
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I just wanted to weigh in here that as an adult child of an engaged person (my mom is getting ready to have her 3rd wedding next year).

     I'd be really..uncertain about it.. if they expected me to participate in a ceremony that says my family was blended with this other family.  I would do it if there were younger children involved too, but in my mom and her FI's case.. we are all adults and we're not going to be creating a whole new family in the same sense as we would if we were moving in together.  It's just very different and I would be.. very uncomfortable with this.

    Feels awkward to me.  Check with your kids, get their opinions.
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Just adding to the misgivings here.  My son loves my wife.  However, he does not consider her his stepmother.  By the time she arrived on the scene, he was 19 and had already moved out, so she had no part in raising him.  I suspect that trying to push on adult children the idea that they are now all part of one family is likely to backfire.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, but I agree with the previous posters on this one.  I am an adult child of a remarried parent, and I would not participate in a ceremony that stated we were blended with my mom's new husband, and neither would my adult sisters.  We're fine with her husband, he makes her happy and is included on all family functions (whether he likes it or not).  So there is no ill will, but we're adults we had our dad until he died and all but our baby sister were over 21 when that happened.

    Please talk to your children as see what they are comfortable with - just being a guest at your reception might be enough.

    Edited to make sense.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Adult children - no.  Or at the very least ask them and see what they say.
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  • linder53linder53 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone.  After thinking about it, we are considering doing something with it during our toasts to each other and have the adult children just add sand to indicate they are their blessings with the marriage - not really blending it - I guess a different take on the sand ceremony.
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