Born to plan?

jeanacorina · May 2010

Do you think some people are just natural born planners, and that things like weddings fit right in to their happy little lives? Are some people are NOT meant to plan big things like weddings and should they just elope at the first sign of ribbon and tulle?

Or, do you think anyone can do it regardless of personality type?

Vote, and post your thoughts!

desertsun · May 2010

I do think some people are more into planning in general than others.

I always ask my FI how he can live life by the seat of his pants. I would find it terrifying.

But this is why he's good for me.

He helps calm me down and not worry or stress so much about stuff. Planning is good; obsessing is not.

And really, it depends on your interests. I'm waaaay more into planning my wardrobe than my finances.

Also, for example, Paint I think is probably a good planner, but she just isn't into the whole big wedding thing.

chipypony · May 2010

Thats hard to say, I can't handle not planning. The thought of planning a wedding doesn't stress me out (OK, ask me that next summer when I am planning a wedding and it might be different). My BF is completely incapable of planning, he just goes with the flow and since he is set on getting married while I am still on the other side of the country, I am fearful for what he will (or won't) get done. I am OCD about being in control of planning things, and he balances me by not caring to plan for much, however, he is confident that he can't plan the wedding on his own. HA.

KD+BC · May 2010

I'm going to agree with desert on this. Some people are just born planners and will jump right into planning a wedding. I am not a total planner (I don't make lists or anything) but I'm really enjoying planning our wedding because it's fun and interesting to me. Some people are not interested in planning a wedding but are fairly but together in their day to day life.

Jeana, I think you are just overly stressed right now but have planned a great wedding! After the fact, I think you'll realize what a fantastic job you have done.

desertsun · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_born-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:112ce898-6d07-430e-90eb-63f6ca67139fPost:4b2aa9f4-1d4a-44b7-b27b-b41e997f4537">Re: Born to plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to agree with desert on this. Some people are just born planners and will jump right into planning a wedding. I am not a total planner (I don't make lists or anything) but I'm really enjoying planning our wedding because it's fun and interesting to me. Some people are not interested in planning a wedding but are fairly but together in their day to day life. <strong>Jeana, I think you are just overly stressed right now but have planned a great wedding! After the fact, I think you'll realize what a fantastic job you have done.</strong>
Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto KD on this!

</div>

jeanacorina · May 2010

lol, thanks guys! I sure hope it ends up that way. I do have a lot of faith in my venue/coordinator/caterer (all the same place), so I'm sure it will turn out fine.

I just really feel like maybe I'm TOO much of a planner to plan anything bigger than a birthday party. I drive myself crazy, and I let other people drive me crazy.

I always thought planning a wedding would come naturally to me... being OCD and all. But it's actually overwhelming.

paintgirl · May 2010

I think some people have more tendencies towards planning. (Desert you made me chuckle.) I could plan someone ELSE's wedding in a few months on any budget and it would be pretty cool. (I'd get design ideas from other people - that's not my strong point.) I would thoroughly enjoy planning my own - if my family wasn't whacked.

I like anything that involves a spreadsheet. My sister can't plan her way out of a paper bag. Just not her thing.

bethsmiles · May 2010

I love to plan events and I have always been good at it. But if someone really wanted to be a planner or plan a specific event they could if they put their mind to it. I think its more a matter of either liking to plan or not liking to plan, ability has little to do with it.

notquiteblushing · May 2010

I don't know. I think planning a wedding would be easier if you had no people to please. We just had our tasting and had to change up a bunch of our choices based on what other people liked. Also planning was reallly fun and exciting a year ago, but as time has gone on the thrill has faded a bit. I think some people live for the little details but that's not me. I just want it all be nice.

jeanacorina · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_born-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:112ce898-6d07-430e-90eb-63f6ca67139fPost:8376756d-1928-49c3-ac81-3d583de4f8b3">Re: Born to plan?</a>:
[QUOTE] I think planning a wedding would be easier if you had no people to please.
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

Amen, sista!

Narwhal · May 2010

Want the psychological answer?

There are natural born planners. The frontal lobe of the brain has a large association area, which is open space to fill with information. The people who have more neurons that make successful connections in this association area of their brain are natural planners.

People with damage to this part of their brain (and only this part) will be able to make a cake, remember all the ingredients, but would not be able to go through exactly what needs to be done prior to actually executing the action.

However, that can get into the nature vs. nurture debate. If these people are born with these neurons ready to make the connections and their parents do not make them plan anything on their own, then they probably won't be as good of planners in their adult life.

jeanacorina · May 2010

I love psychological answers! Very interesting. Maybe that's what happened to me. I plan like nobody's business but I have never planned anything big in my life... especially not like a wedding.

It took me 7 years after graduating high school to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up and how to get through college (you know, the logistics, not the grades).

Big stuff overwhelms me easily. But I love to plan daily stuff. I'd even admit that I'm prone to over-planning when it's not necessary at all.

Narwhal · May 2010

Yeah, I definitely overplan. That's what I say in interviews what setbacks I have. I always try to plan something as soon as I become aware of it, even if it isn't time for it to be done. Then I go back and try to replan it.

ekathleen684 · May 2010

I think I was born to plan, it's a blessing..and a curse. I've been trying to plan my last year of college and my mind races with what ifs. BF doesn't understand why I get so stressed about things that are so far in advanced but I can't help it.

I think that some people are born planners, others can be "trained" (if thats the right word) to plan efficiently and some are lost causes. Example- Lets say BF and I get engaged tomorrow and plan our wedding for November 2011. I would have everything done and planned by fathers day this year and freak out the entire way. He would have everything planned on Halloween (2011) and would have no stress or worries about it. Maybe thats why were good for eachother

catemeg · May 2010

Oh GEEZ I am a total planner! But I think it's more important that some people LIKE to plan, and others get overwhelmed by it. I can see the psychological answer as valid, but to me it's not as important if you have the capability but rather the interest to plan.

For me, it's a bit of a control thing - I like to know what's coming, and at what speed, and figure it all out. My friends sort of roll their eyes because I can tell you where I'll be and what I'll be doing basically every month from now until approximately May 2013 (after that, it's up to the Marines, so I know that much, too!). Now part of that is my desire to know what's coming and to plan for it, but the other reason is just the requirements of my boyfriend's academic schedule and Marine Corps commitments (graduation, bar exam, orders to report for TBS, 6 months of TBS, orders to report to Law Academy, 10 weeks at Law Academy, then first duty station = approx. May 2013).

I'm the kid who had colleges laid out on a spreadsheet starting in my sophomore year, aquiring all the details to compare and contrast my options. I wrote a will when I was 8 years old. I plan for the future because it makes me feel in control of it.

dwest2201 · May 2010

While I do believe that anyone can set their mind to it and plan an awesome wedding if they really want to....

I think that there are definitely people who are more organized and therefore make better planners for anything (weddings and parties, but also simpler things like organizing for a trip, moving or a list for the store). Then there are people who are more laid back or fly by the seat of your pants and they might find planning something elaborate a lot of hard work and stress because they are constantly having to do things they don't particularly like to... make a timeline, lists, plan ahead, make big decisions. For someone who is being put out of their comfort zone the entire time and stressed about it planning a wedding might make them miserable... this is where destination weddings or wedding planners and or event coordinators come in handy.

Goldlie11 · May 2010

I believe that some people are disorganized and would have a hard time planning a wedding. I am a planner by nature (a teacher) and I'm kind of controlling. Still, I don't really like planning this thing. It is getting better, though.

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