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Family differences

HeffalumpHeffalump member
Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Since Zilla said that my basic problem with the ILs is that I dislike their way of being a family, I can't help but agree.  As a result, I will tell you that:

1.  DD's party started at noon.  12:00 p.m.  As printed on her invitations.  Printed.  No messy, ambiguous handwriting or anything.

2.  At 11:40, I turned off the hairdryer, picked DD up off the floor, and went downstairs to find FIL and his wife on our family room sofa, reading our newspaper. 

3.  No one in my family would ever think of pulling a stunt like that.

Y'all, I was annoyed.  I think I hid it well, but seriously.  Their hotel was 5 minutes away.  It's not like they got on the road at 6 a.m. and weren't sure exactly what time they'd arrive.  DH wasn't even there, he'd gone to pick up the food.  So they let themselves in through the garage.  Seriously?
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Re: Family differences

  • arbolitaarbolita
    2500 Comments
    Okay, letting themselves in through the garage is very weird (and would make me rethink the security of my house), but I don't think arriving 20 minutes early is that strange/awful. 
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Then I am never inviting you to a party at my house, arb.  Ever.  Good lord, they're lucky I didn't run downstairs topless to get a bra out of the dryer.  20 minutes is unacceptably early, IMO.  Maybe because I'm rarely ready until about 3 minutes beforehand.
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  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    I would be annoyed.

    And I also don't like the way my in-laws are a family.
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  • nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    5000 Comments
    Meh.  The 20 mins. wouldn't bother me.  The letting themselves in would send me reeling.  Of course, knowing my MIL, if I didn't answer the door b/c my head was being dried, she'd assume we didn't asnwer b/c we were all dead inside.  And then I'd be welcomed by cops at the front door and a hysterical MIL.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    That's not cool.  5 mins early okay, not 20.

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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    See, I would have been ready an hour beforehand, and people not showing up till the exact time would be weird for me - but my family is of the "Early is on time; on time is late; and late is unacceptable" mindset. 

    But I would never let myself into someone's house. I wouldn't even walk into my parents' house, and they didn't care what time we showed up to hang out. 
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    Yes, being a *little* early is fine, but 20 minutes?  And letting yourself in?

    My MIL has pulled this ish with my SIL.  Not me though.  No farking way.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    Our families are very different too. My mom is a self-described snoid, who does not like people in the house. I have part of that, because I am after all my mother's child. So I solve the problem by not hosting events at my house very often. If someone is invited to my home it's because I like them very very much, or there's a zombie invasion and I'm offering a safe house.

    FI's family is very much, show up unannounced, every day, any day, pick through the cupboards, and expect the same in their house. They thankfully respect the fact that I am a slight hermit and don't show up unannounced any more, but still don't necessarily give much notice.

    My Dad's family expects that if you'll be there for supper you show up at lunch, have lunch there, stay for supper, stay possibly until the next morning and have breakfast.

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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am with you.  20 minutes early is unacceptably rude.  Yeah, early is good - FOR A JOB INTERVIEW.  WTF is wrong with these people?!

    I'm getting angry just thinking about this.  We throw a party every year that always starts at 2pm (and when inviting people, we say "anytime after 2, but do NOT come before 2") and runs until after midnight, and every damn year we have some f*ckwit from DH's family show up at 1:15.
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