Groom Bashing

nyema_83 · June 2010

So my mom went to my brother's fiance's Bridal Shower...and pulled her mother (bride's mother) aside and proceeded to tell her about how my brother (her son) isnt good enough to marry her daughter, and how he should take better care of her and that he really needs to get a better job and just proceeded to rip him a new one via his future mother in law. Then when my brother called my mom to ask her about it she denied ever talking to her. Now everytime my brother tries to talk to her she gets mad at him and hangs up on him....should i step in and try to confront her on his behalf? I just feel like she keeps beating him down and it's got to stop or she won't have a son anymore...he will totally cut her off if she doesn't stop doing what she's doing?

What would you do?

FutureMrsTR · June 2010

I would stay out of it.

ohwhynot · June 2010

Butt out?

ricksang · June 2010

There is nothing you can really do. I have tried to step in and be the voice of reason when my sister and mother fight, it doesn't work. I say just stay out of it.

danieliza1127 · June 2010

You shouldn't get involved. Support your brother but you don't need to get involved unless he specifically asks you to and even then, tread carefully.

akhensley81 · June 2010

Frankly, it's your mother's problem and I think your best bet is going to be to stay out of it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

Is this a new situation? Was the convo out of the blue or has she always been like this? How did you find out about this?

kikibaby · June 2010

Your mom is mean. But, stay out of it.

nyema_83 · June 2010

Mom seems to love pushing his buttons. and I heard about it thru my brother who is a very manly kinda guy who was on the verge of tears because his mom is being so...so...i don't even know how to categorize her anymore. I just got marred 1 month ago today and she tends to keep her negative comments geared towards my MIL. But I've always felt more like a maternal figure to my brother and even tho he's older than I am i feel like his his protector!

Kristin&eric · June 2010

I would stay out of it

katiewhompus · June 2010

If this is a usual thing it might not be bad if he removes himself from her presence.
I think it would be best to just lend a sympathetic ear but otherwise stay out of it. Anything you do will likely make it worse, and you might be seen as "siding with him" when your mom already seems a bit irrational to begin with. I would just advise your brother to leave it alone and not call her for a while.

thesuninherhead · June 2010

I sort of disagree with the above 'stay out of it' advice. She's your mother and he's your brother. He's distressed by what happened. If this were my situation, at the least, I'd want to clarify with my mother what happened. I don't see the need to 'mind your own business' when it comes to your own family, because if they're bringing this to you, presumably it has on some level become your business (and, well, it's your family, and I feel you have a right to bring things like this up). Of course, addressing it with her may not have a great outcome, depending on her stability, but certainly if it was me, I wouldn't be able to help myself but to at least probe for her rationalisation of the behaviour.

Groom Bashing

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