spent a lot of time with 2.5yo nephew this past weekend, and am judging SIL and her H pretty hard. SIL and nephew have been staying with ILs for the past 6 weeks or so while SIL is doing her internship.
***nobody disciplines the kid, except ILs. SIL gets mad at them when they tell her kid to behave, or NO.
***every meal, the kid sits at the table with a portable DVD player on in front of him. he won't touch the food himself - people need to spoon feed him - and even that's a challenge. I asked ILs what the deal was with the DVD player and they said SIL does it so he will sit there and eat. I pointed out that it obviously wasn't working, as FIL struggled to get the kid to take a forkful of spaghetti. Kid thought it was really funny. i reached over, turned off the DVD player and told him he needed to finish dinner before he could watch more of the movie. he took the fork from FIL and finished in 3 bites.
***nephew isn't responsible for his actions. if he does something bad, SIL gives his toy a time out. (not the kid). Nephew destroyed a toy that BIL bought for him ( tore the thing to pieces and had them all over the place. MIL gave him a 2 minute time out. (sit in a chair, no toys, no tv) SIL threw a fit when MIL told her about it. nephew was getting wild when i was sitting for him and started hitting and kicking at me. i told him to stop, and when he didn't, i gave him a time out for 2 minutes. worked for me - he behaved the rest of the night.
***nephew has every toy known to man, and they are spread out all over ILs family room. it's next to impossible to walk through there. MIL and SIL are the only ones who clean up the mess. I made nephew pick up his toys before ILs got home from the viewing, and they were shocked when I said that HE was the one who put the toys away.