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Oh, (other) BIL

HeffalumpHeffalump member
Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Disclaimer:  this is NOT secret-daughter BIL, this is the other one.  There is apparently enough assyness to go around where his half-brothers are concerned.

BIL has left his wife of 10+ years and their three kids and moved in with a woman "about [his father's/DH's step-father's] age."  I'm not sure exactly how old that is--I know SFIL was a couple of years younger than MIL and she would have been 62 now, so the other woman is at least somewhere in her 50's.  BIL and SIL are early 30's.

They married ridiculously young (weekend before SIL graduated from high school), and I know what the statistics are, but I feel awful for their kids.  And honestly, I'm sort of eeeew about the age difference, but whatever.  Mostly I just feel badly for SIL, who seems to have been blindsided by this, and for the kids.

DH reminded me that I got the best one out of his family, and I'm inclined to agree.
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Re: Oh, (other) BIL

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oy.  :-/

    Poor SIL and kids indeed.

    And did we ever get an update on secret daughter BIL?  Are they still together? And other juicy details?
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    Heff, is your DH the former Mormon?
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_oh-other-bil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9df47b13-ac54-46a4-b10f-ab72b190641aPost:8088a8f9-105e-4641-b044-31672dce8752">Re: Oh, (other) BIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oy.  :-/ Poor SIL and kids indeed. And did we ever get an update on secret daughter BIL?  Are they still together? And other juicy details?
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    For now, they are.  He still has zero contact with his daughter, but at least SIL knows she exists.  They are moving because BIL said their marriage was suffering because he was never home, so they're buying a house closer to his office.  Personally, more time with BIL would make me like him less, not more, but whatever.  Honestly, I don't mean to be unkind, but I don't give this one very good odds.  

    BIL is pretty much following in FIL's footsteps, so good luck to him.  DH has always felt like the odd man out because they're two peas in a pod and he is very different, but I told him that's not necessarily a bad thing. 
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    Wow.  those poor kids and SIL.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_oh-other-bil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9df47b13-ac54-46a4-b10f-ab72b190641aPost:26721739-37da-4a2d-b36c-e37bc705f12f">Re: Oh, (other) BIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]Heff, is your DH the former Mormon?
    Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

    No.  One side of his family did the speaking-in-tongues Pentecostal thing for a while, but no Mormons that I'm aware of.

    Also, SIL (sister of DH & BIL-who-just-left-his-wife) says that her father (DH's stepfather) has gotten back in touch with his first wife and his own formerly secret daughter (she came to light about a decade ago, when she wanted money for college) and is thinking of moving out of state to be near them.  What is with all these secret children?  Two on one side of the family, one on the other, plus however many are still a secret.  I feel like I need to pass out condoms to these people like I'm Student Health Services or something.

    DH is going to call SIL today to get the scoop on BIL and his cougar GF. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I feel like I'm going to have to diagram this out.  Yay for your DH for being the normal one, but dang!  Also, his family reminds me of another good friend who was dating a guy who came from a straight laced, parents only married to each other since HS family.  She has a similar situation to your DH.

    We were all talking at dinner after she had just met his family.  I asked how it went and they started laughing.  His parents were rather aghast at her family history b/c she had described it as, "more of a family bush rather than tree".

    They didn't last, but still, I always thought that was a funny and clear explanation.
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