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missing my FI :(

leahmeleah12leahmeleah12 member
10 Comments
in Military Brides
So my FI is in afghanistan right now. His deployment is 12 months, and his R&R is next month. While he has been there the longest we have gone without talking is about a week. It has now been 11 days and I am starting to worry myself to death! I can't get my mind off of it. I can't help but think something is wrong. Anyone going through something like this? Or any advise on how to distract myself or anything!?!? 
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Re: missing my FI :(

  • LOLwaysLOLways
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not going through what you are, so I can only recommend things to get your mind off it...

    Read! Have you gone through a long series lately? Harry Potter? Twilight? Something that'll keep you busy for as long as you need to be is ideal. If you watch the show True Blood, then the book series can keep your attention for a while!

    Work out. You get endorphins and all that jazz from it. Maybe take a group workout class to make some new friends?

    There's not much you can do besides wait for your FI to contact you. Maybe he is doing something that keeps him unavailable for a while that he couldn't tell you about in advance, or maybe he didn't know. There are a million reasonable explanations, so you should just shoot him an email and let him know that you're super worried. Say that if he is crazy busy, just a "Hi" would be fine for now. Sometimes I think boys get wrapped up thinking that if they can't give us a long 30 minute phone convo or a long love letter email, then it doesn't "count" enough. But in this case, you just need to hear from him.
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  • prettyirishgirlprettyirishgirl member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    try to find things to do. I haven't been antsy like that in a while (Fi deploys to much for me to freak anymore by the base being gone bit). I used to go antique shopping any time I didn't have work. It got me out of our house and walking around. You want to distract yourself. I wish I could tell you it goes away, but every time I don't hear from him for over our normal time i get sick. I usually would go stay with a friend for a day, or go hang out with someone so that I had a buddy. The best case was someone else who knew what I was going through. I always felt better going to my friend who's H was in FI's unit. I'd go crash dinner at their house and if her H was home he could at least tell me if something went wrong.- because if he was there nothing blew up so to speak. I was very lucky in taht FI's whole unit didn't deploy at once so I always had someone to call or visit that had some contact with those that were deployed multiple times a day even if dependants and FIs and gfs didn't have that. After talking to them I felt better and silly.

    If you are near his post or if his unit's families and friends that is what I would recommend.. Wives and other people related the the unit will probably know more about what is going on over there then you and if something went wrong they would hear about it before you (unless you are his contact) so talkign to one of them may help a lot. That sounds really depressing I'm sure, but he's ok. He probably just got in late or had do go get something and couldn't make it to a phone or the computer. It can be unnerving sometimes (one time Fi was so tired he just fell asleep when he was on his way to the computer room (no lie sat on a bench to tie his shoe) and woke up, but didn't make it to the lab to talk - next day similar thing I was having a heart attack mean time thinking the worst while he was snoring his little heart out.
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  • lmarsh90lmarsh90 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i know what you mean, the only reason i havent lost my mind is because i am also active duty military so i stay pretty busy. i know it is hard but do your best to stay positive, i've discovered that arts and crafts help me out. A: it kills time B: it gives me an excues to overload him with random care packages. :D if you would like, send me a private message on here and i will give you my personal email, so if you ever need to talk you are more than welcome to hit me up. Hey, us military FIs gotta help keep each other going because regardless of branch we are all gonna go through it eventually :D
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Always remember that no news is good news.  I know it's hard, but it's true.  If something were wrong, you would have already received a phone call phone call from someone.  Hang in there.  He'll call you as soon as he can. 
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  • matchamatcha
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI is also deployed right now.  He will have been alway from home for 17 months, including all the different trainings he had to attend out of state before his deployment even began (he was switching his MOS).  He'll have been out of the country 11 months by the time he gets back. 

    Deployments suck. We once went two weeks without talking when their internet connection broke and they couldn't figure out how to fix it. The worst part is just not knowing and not being able to do anything about it. In the end, you just have to have faith that everything will be okay, which is really hard when you are a worry-wart (like me). 

    At first, I spent a lot of time emailing him when this happened, but then I switched to snail mail letters.  I figured if there was something wrong with their communication lines, the postal service may still be able to get through.  He loved getting the physical letters that smelled like me (perfume works wonders). I also made an extra large care package during this time.  It helped me, you could try it!

    Distraction is your new best friend. Hit the gym a bunch. Make new recpies. Find new songs.  Learn a new hobby.  Clean (yuck).  Take a class. Do everything to become as rock awesome as possible so that he is blown away when he gets home (that's my mantra while at the gym and eating salads).

    Hanging out on this board is really helpful to me, because my FI is NG and most of his unit is single men, so I don't have a built-in spousal support group. 

    SO many hugs for you, darlin'!
    Two Drifters Off To See The World...
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  • leahmeleah12leahmeleah12 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all of the advise and support! It is so encouraging to read all of your posts! I heard from my FI two days ago, finally. He got hurt and was flown to a different area to get the help he needed. He is completely okay now, just a sore knee. It scared me nearly to death.
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