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Florida-South Florida

Um, what?! (FMIL Update)

Ok, some of you may be following the drama that includes my FMIL and her choice words of me and my family. The last I heard from her was a phone call of her screaming to me about the money I asked her to contribute to the 15 extra people she invited without asking.

So fast forward to Sunday. My fiance and I were told by his brother (who is a jerk and is using my fiance's bedroom furniture while he lives with his wife and son at FMILs house) that if he wanted his bedroom furniture it needed to be out by Sunday "so he could help." I am so thankful I come from a family who has access to certain things, so I was able to use my stepdad's truck and enclosed trailer to get his things on such short notice. I was hoping that FMIL wouldn't be home when we got his belongings, but my luck she was there. As soon as I walked in the door with fiance, she told me and him to sit in her room so she could talk to us. So we sit down and she starts by saying how she loves me, and how she feels like we haven't been able to have a bond like her being my second mother. She said that my fiance told her that I felt like she did something against me, and she doesn't want me to take it that way. Mind you, last time we spoke she called me a spoiled brat from a rich undeserving family. I tried to play it on, hoping to just get it out of the way, and I said we haven't really spent much time together because I live in Homestead and she lives in Doral, and that I'm an emotional person who takes things personally. So we ended up ending things on "good terms" I guess you could say. Which the only reason we did was because I ended up apologizing for "taking things out of context" and for "not trying to have a relationship with her." No apology from her or anything, but whatever, I'll be the bigger person. So we moved fiance's stuff (with no help from his brother like he promised, anyway).

So yesterday I was spending time with my mom running errands, and FMIL sent me a text about the rehearsal dinner. I was busy at the moment and didn't have time to respond, so I did so today. The woman has done a complete 180. She is being super nice to me, and calling me her daughter and saying she loves me every 5 seconds. I am very afraid. I have no idea what to do or what to expect next. She went from hostile and abrasive to loving and caring. Should I just be grateful for the personality change, or should I be cautious of it? Lol
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Re: Um, what?! (FMIL Update)

  • She is just killing you with kindness :)

    Take it for what it is. Enjoy her nice moments and try to give her a fresh start, as much as it kills you. Don't stay angry because you will look like the bad guy.
    Amanda Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Um, well I'm speechless, lol! I really don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes because it's tough to forget everything she has said and done to you in the past. However, I truly hope her change is real and if it is embrace it! It will benefit you in the long run because you will be part of his family. Like Amanda suggested, give her a chance to reedem herself because people can and do change (let's hope she does!) and help her change as well by spending time with her and engage in conversation. You two may just find yourselves laying the foundation for a positive relationship.
  • LaMaFaLaMaFa member
    100 Comments
    Be cautiously grateful. Be nice back to her as much as you can, but still keep her at arms length- no reason to become buddy-buddy over one coversation, especially since you have a TON to do before your wedding next weekend.
    Also, what happened with the 15 extra guests? Has she agreed to pay for them?
    Maybe now that she has realized the wedding is going forward with or without her and nothing she says is going to drive you away from your fiance she has decided to play nice. Be cordial in your interactions with her, and just see where time takes your relationship. Maybe one day you two will be able to have a laugh about this as friends. But don't push that to happen, and definitely don't allow her to force some sort of fake friendship on you. You don't really have to be anything more than nice and respectful to her as your FI's mom.
    Hopefully she's turned over a new leaf in regards to your relationship and stays nice and caring from here on out! GL!
  • I'm being nice to her in return, but being cautious about it. I've only texted her, I won't call her just yet, plus, I am very busy. My fiance has agreed to ask her again about the money tonight, so we will see what happens with that. Thanks for all the support! :)
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  • LaMaFaLaMaFa member
    100 Comments
    Also, my FI suggested that maybe your FI said something to her that prompted her conversation with you. Even though he told you that he wouldn't get involved, we think she would have at least told him about you hanging up on her, which may have prompted him to say something in your defense- something that may have gotten her thinking. Or maybe someone else said something to her about her behavior that made her realize what a crazy B* she's been to you (because from the sounds of it, she's the type to go complaining about you hanging up on her to everyone and their mother).
  • good luck my dear!!! I hope she has turned over a new leaf and that you two are able to have a decent relationship.  Enjoy all of this kindness, especially since the wedding is this weekend, you don't need any extra stress.  Keep us updated, we're here for you and cheering for happy days!!! Sending positive vibes to you and your family!!
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  • Sending positive vibes your way. Some mothers can be over protective and it is hard for them to let go once they realize their son will no longer put as much focus or put much weight on their suggestions and advise. It's a hard pill to swallow. So she has two choices - try and forge some type of relationship with you or lose her son. I agree with the other ladies, be cautiously grateful and embrace this new change. This has to affect your FI as well since it bothers him to see you upset and her as well.
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