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Honorary Yellow Ribbon Candle

bellatoedwardbellatoedward member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
My sister is in the army and due to deploy shortly after (like, a couple of weeks) the wedding, and is unfortunately unable to attend the wedding due to training requirements. My thoughts were to make an honorary candle for her by tying a yellow ribbon around it, and putting a phrase on it like "Today we remember those in uniform who are unable to join us today, and we thank them for the sacrifices they are making" or something, and then putting my sisters name and "Sister of the Bride". Only, I want to do it in a way that doesn't make it look like she's dead, you know? That would be kind of bad. I come from a very large military family. Would this be an okay thing?
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Re: Honorary Yellow Ribbon Candle

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    Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I think a mention in the program is probably sufficient.  While what you have described doesn't necessarily sound too much like a memorial to me, it could be interpreted that way.  I'm active duty military as well, and while I was fortunate enough to be able to attend my sister's wedding, if I HADN'T been able to go, I would have felt very odd about a candle being set up for me.  

    I know that pre-deployment training is really busy, and this may not work, but is there any way you can set up a webcam during your ceremony that your sister can watch wherever she is?   Some brides on here have had people attend via Skype before, and it sounds really neat.    If you are tech-savvy it should be easy to set up, or get someone else to set up for you.
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    cebrady89cebrady89 member
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    I think the candle could be interpreted as a memorial, unless you explicitly said WHY she won't be in attendance. 

    Putting something in the program, or even tying a yellow ribbon around your bouquet, or something like that might be sweet.

    So sorry that your sister won't be able to attend your wedding! I'll say a prayer that she has a safe deployment. :)
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    Grits8812Grits8812 member
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    I like the idea ofcebrady.  I would tie a yellow ribbon around my bouquet. or maybe putting a single yellow flower in it somewhere, and mention her in the program as the sister of the bride.  That way she is still represented, but not in a way that others may take as a memorial.
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    frogger6673frogger6673
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    I love the idea of a yellow ribbon around the bouquet! 
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    bellatoedwardbellatoedward member
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    I totally understand what y'all are saying, and I, too, love the idea of the yellow ribbon around the bouquet. She and I have always been super close, thanks to being the daughters of a full-blown active duty navy man of 24 years and getting to move every few months or so. It's hard not having her there with me, and it's hard on her too, and I think that the yellow ribbon is a perfect way of representing her.

    Thanks guys for all the input!
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    AVasyutaAVasyuta member
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    I'm in the military and I don't see it as morbid. The Yellow Ribbon doesn't actually stand for service members who have died, only for those who are deployed, so it would be fine (a Gold Star Banner represents those who have died, which is where the confusion comes from, I think). Both my fiance and I are in the military (matter of fact, we're both in Afghanistan right now) and I was thinking of doing something similar for all of our friends who will be deployed when we marry. It's a way of keeping your sister part of the ceremony even if she cannot physically be there. Another good place would be to have a small, maybe 8x10 framed photo of her in uniform next to the guestbook, with something noting her deployment and your pride in her. That way people can see she's still part of your wedding. The yellow ribbon around the bouqet would also be awesome.
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