My very best friend in the whole world has finally met The One and is getting married! Of course I am super excited for her and want to do everything I can to make this experience perfect for her. However . . .
She lives about 700 miles from me & her only other bridesmaid. All of her family and most of her friends also live in other parts of the country. Airfare / hotel / car rental alone for the wedding weekend will cost us about $1500, not including the obvious other expenses like the dress, gifts, etc., which is fine - weddings are expensive for everyone! We originally wanted to fly in for another weekend and have a shower for her, but quickly realized that would be out of both of our budgets. The bride agreed that for budget concerns & to have her OOT friends / family at the shower, a brunch the morning of her (evening) wedding would work out well. The issue is that we can't seem to come up with any venues or ideas that won't cost each of us another $1000 since we are both OOT. And that is for brunch, not a full meal! (The wedding is in a major metropolitan area, so everything is more expensive, and none of her other friends or family have indicated any interest in co-hosting a shower for her.)
To add to the problem, both of us BMs have had unexpected major medical issues lately, which has put a huge financial strain on our families already. We are getting to the point where we are ready to not have any kind of pre-wedding party for her because we simply can't afford it. BTW, the bride has said that all she needs is for her friends and family to be there to celebrate her marriage with her, everything else is extra. This will be a very casual wedding (rehearsal bbq at the couple's house, hors d'oeuvres only at the reception) as the couple are on a very tight budget too. She totally would not be devastated if we couldn't have a shower for her . . . but we would!