Engaged Couples Seminar

mlhw-nh · May 2010

FI and I have our Engaged Couples Seminar scheduled for the 15th. In the paperwork that ideally they would like to have the FOCCUS done before we attend. I had mentioned this to Father and he said OK and to give him a call in a couple of weeks orignally. I called him today and now he says that there is no way that he could have us take it and have it scored in time for our Seminar. He said to tell them that we have a new pastor at our church and he was unable to do it in time. So my question is will we not get as much out of this seminar without the FOCCUS complete?? Do I just need to not worry about it??

Riss91 · May 2010

I wouldn't worry. We never took the FOCCUS test and our Pre-Cana classes were still extremely beneficial. I'm sure you'll be fine!

agapecarrie · May 2010

Engaged Encounter and pre-cana classes are different. If this particular EE. says that you should take they would like you to take it, it is likely that this one will use it in some way. Perhaps during times of sharing with each other to discuss your particular topics you didnt match on or something.

One thing I can suggest is to call another priest or deacon in the area (doesnt' have to be from your parish) and explain the situation...making sure to tell them that you are already set church and priest wise, but would like to take the focus asap so you can get the most out of your EE.

The ones most likely to be able to help you are: retired priests in residence, deacons or retired deacons, priests stationed at a hospital or teaching at a seminary. I suggest them first because it is likely they would have less responsibilities or more flexibility to help you.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

EE and pre-Cana classes are completely different. You do not need the FOCCUS test complete in order to attend the EE weekend. We did our FOCCUS test toward the end of our pre-Cana which we finished in March and we did our EE weekend in Janurary. HTH!

agapecarrie · May 2010

EE weekends are dependent on their leaders and may differ by area and leadership. This particular one may rely on the focus for some of the programming. However, if they say its ideal, I'm sure they can work with things if you haven't taken it.

vgmartinez · May 2010

You will get so much out of this retreat whether you've taken the FOCCUS or not. My parish doesn't have the updated version of the FOCCUS test so we took something similar with different discussions each time we meet with our priest. We had our seminar two weekends ago and we loved it. They give you a book with tons of questions for the two of you that open up discussion on many issues.

ellen73 · May 2010

We took our FOCCUS on a Saturday morning and went over the results with the priest on Monday night (two nights later!). It can be done in a short amount of time. We took ours at a Newman Center (I work at a very large university!) I would first call the facilitators of the retreat and see what they suggest. They may tell you not to worry about it, or may let you know where else you could take it. Second, try calling the family life office of your diocese. They should be able to point you in the right direction to take the inventory prior to the retreat.

Good luck!!

mica178 · May 2010

We did our FOCCUS before our Engaged Encounter, but we didn't meet to discuss the results until after the EE. The two covered completely different issues, IMO.

Theresa626 · May 2010

I wouldn't worry about it at all. We really didn't discuss the focus at our pre cana retreat. As long as your preist says it's ok, it shouldn't be a problem.

Theresa626 · May 2010

Also, I just wanted to add that they required us to have done the focus before the retreat but it didn't really make that much difference.

agapecarrie · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-couples-seminar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c50300c4-7a3e-4c77-b808-59d02b3f2eb0Post:06d219c5-e0de-4dc0-9a86-78b4d494f978">Re: Engaged Couples Seminar</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't worry about it at all. We really didn't discuss the focus at our pre cana retreat. As long as your preist says it's ok, it shouldn't be a problem.
Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]

Pre-cana and engaged encouter are 2 different things. Pre-cana is not a retreat,it is a very specific kind of marriage preparation. People tend to call any kind of marriage prep "pre-cana" but I think the difference matters in this particular case.

Riss91 · May 2010

I thought pre-cana just referred to all marriage preparation? Which begins with your first meeting with the priest, and can be different depending on parish/region. Some parishes require an engaged encounter as your pre-marital counseling, others require multiple sessions with the priest, or lecture-style seminars, and possibly FOCCUS tests, etc.

In our area, you were required to take pre-marital (pre-cana) classes and had the option of choosing the engaged encounter setting to fulfill of this requirement. We chose a weekend long seminar (non-retreat style). We were never asked to take a FOCCUS test

Either way, I do think engaged encounters are much different than a lecture setting and the FOCCUS test may be more pertinent. I would contact the facilitator of the engaged encounter and explain the situation, I'm sure there are ways around it.

agapecarrie · May 2010

It's kind of like the brand name "kleenex". Even though it is merely a brand of tissues, people use the name to refer to any kind of "tissue".

Pre-cana refers to a very specific type of marriage preparation. One is not necesarily better than the other. In fact, I don't ever hear "pre-cana" used anywhere but here...and people use it here to call any kind of marriage prep, which it technically isn't. Most of the time it doesn't matter, but I thought in this thread it did.

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