Is anyone else's work interfering with their planning? (Vent)

BookButterfly · November 2012

Ever since I started my first teaching job, I haven't even had time to THINK about our wedding... Luckily, we hired a wedding planner who is fantastic, but it's still frustrating. I wish I could be involved in the planning, even a little, but there simply isn't time.

I'm a first-year teacher, making 6K less than most first-years because I'm teaching at a charter school, and thus, I'm broke all the time. I spend an hour and a half every day in the car just getting to and from my teaching job (2-4 hours if traffic is horrible) where I then teach five classes in a row (though I have six total). I'm on break, and I have 200 essays to grade, five projects to plan, and an evaluation on my first day back from school. -.- And I haven't felt even a flutter of excitement about my coming wedding because I haven't even had time to think! ARGH! /end rant.

Is anyone else in a similar position? I can't be the only one in this position, right? What's YOUR story?

cnf2013 · November 2012

I'm not anymore, but my first year teaching was a nightmare. I got hired by one of the worst inner city schools in NY on the notion that I'd be full time, in my area, in one school. Then the funds allocated for the position fell through and since they had already hired me they piecemealed me a job together. I was a .5 ESOL at a school for kids on long term suspension with criminal records (I don't speak any Spanish and my content area is health, see the red flag). Then I left there, drove clear across the city to teach .2 middle school health, then drove back to the side of the city I started on to teach .1 health. Because I was no longer full time and the .5 in ESOL was considered a long term sub position I ended up taking a 23K pay cut from what I was originally slated to make. I had an hour commute into the city, more if there was traffic, a 30 minute round trip between schools, then another hour home. And if there was snow my two and half hours in the car easily turned into 4-5. Needless to say when they called me back only offering me the .2 health in the same elementary school I politely declined.

Being a first year teacher is difficult. People who say teachers have it easy have clearly never been on that side of the classroom. Take advantage of your break coming up to immerse yourself in your wedding planning if possible and just take a breather from school. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But seriously, just try to unwind from school and catch up with you planner. You deserve it.

achiduck · November 2012

I pretty much did all my planning and vendor meeting in the evenings/weekends. Vendors understand that clients work and to be in the wedding industry means they don't have a 9-5 job.

What does your FI do? It's his wedding do, rely on him to help.

thejucheidea · November 2012

I'm really lucky in that I work four ten hour days instead of five eight hour days. We just got engaged on Sunday, so I haven't had to meet up with any vendors yet, but I think having that day off will be really helpful.

cwaggoner07 · November 2012

I will say, working with my WP, she said wedding planning is an off-hours job. She said the appointments she goes on, the meetings she has, they're all outside of normal working hours. That doesn't help your workload in the meantime, but rest assured that any wedding vendor is going to be accustomed to working evenings and weekends.

myrinae · November 2012

I've been teaching for nearly fifteen years--the first couple of years were really rough. We got engaged over the summer, and I tried to plan everything right away since I knew once the school year started, it would fly by. Hang in there!

I know it gets overwhelming very quickly, especially with multiple preps. When you're not planning, you're grading and vice versa. Remember to breathe and--as much as it's a hassle to take time off because it takes double the work to prep for a sub--remember to take a sanity day now and then!

freebread03 · November 2012

I'm not a teacher, but am in client meetings pretty much off and on every day, and definitely wouldn't have time for any wedding planning during the day. I hate to say it, but people who plan their weddings during the work day drive me nuts--work isn't paying for you to plan a wedding, they're paying for you to do work (I work with a few women who, when I'd look over, would always be wedding planning). I'm sure I do have more flexibility than teachers though, since I can at least hop online between emails. But any vendor visits, etc. always happen after work for me or on weekends--like PPs said, it hasn't been a problem since I think most expect it.

StephJean83 · November 2012

I don't work as a teacher but my job is driven seasonally. I've had my heart set on a November wedding since I was little and thankfully my FH also is set on having an off season wedding. My job has strict restrictions as far as vacation time is concerned so I was concerned that even taking a half week off prior to the wedding might pose some problems but my manager said that with weddings they are pretty good about giving the time off.

mefreckles · November 2012

I totally understand! I don't teach but I just got a new job this year. I end up working 60 hours a week usually. It's just a very time consuming job. All my free time after work and on weekends are usually taken up by vendor meetings. It just kind of drives you crazy. The worst part is finding time to research everything. At least you have a planner! Best of luck!

HobokensFury · November 2012

I'm in year number 7 of teaching. I must say you are a braver woman that I. My first year of teaching I cried almost every day. I will say it does get easier. Don't try to get everything done at one time. Set limits on the amount of time you spend grading/planing each night and make sure to take at least one day off on the weekends. I can assure you the kids will wait for their papers. As for wedding planning PP have given you good suggestions.

MrsGandthebeag · November 2012

I'm not sure when your wedding is (too lazy to check at the moment) but if you can use the summer vacation, I'd do that. I also work in education and planned pretty much our whole wedding during the summer.

libby2483 · November 2012

I am in my second year of teaching, and I promise that it does get easier. Don't get me wrong, I still put in countless hours outside of school, but there is a remarkable difference even from the first year to the second.

I also planned my wedding during my first year of teaching, so here are a few tips I have:

1) Use a wedding timeline tool like the one on TK so you can break things down into manageable tasks.

2) Utilize weekends and evenings to do a little bit at a time.

3) Have your FI help out. Ask him to take charge of something specific like the DJ.

4) No matter how often your students bug you, they don't NEED their papers back the next day. They can wait a week. Or longer. Break down school into manageable steps, too, and remember you don't need to do it all at once.

JadziaDax · November 2012

I planned my wedding while working full-time, attending school full-time, with a 2 hour commute to and from work. I met with vendors during evenings and weekends so it really wasn't too bad. I just made sure that wedding planning didn't interfere with my job or my school work, and it usually didn't. Take time to make lists/ spreadsheets to keep yourself on track and try to use as much time during weekends as possible for planning.

freebread03 · November 2012

Ah "break" like Thanksgiving break. That makes more sense. Like PPs said, make lists, use spreadsheets, track deadlines--much like you do for your classes I'm sure. Staying organized will make it all seem less overwhelming, and breaking things down into a manageable schedule will help you get things done. (Did you know there's actually a wedding planning template in Microsoft Project? Not that I think a wedding needs a project plan, but I'm the kind of nut who would do something like that...)

OwningAHome1981 · November 2012

lol... I have the opposite problem. Wedding planning is interfering with my job lol

jennipea382 · November 2012

Neither FI or I are teachers, but his job definitely interferes with things! He can't ask off work on weekends so if he's scheduled on our wedding day, we will be hoping the other manager isn't a jerk and switches with him. He also has to take his 5 whole vacation days all at once or one at a time. There are tons of blackout dates so it makes it really difficult to plan a honeymoon. Luckily we found out the blackout times don't start until two weeks after the wedding, so we CAN go on our honeymoon right away, but that's pretty much the only time we can go. I can't wait until he gets a new job!

Is anyone else's work interfering with their planning? (Vent)

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