Engagement Ring "Standards"

Re: Engagement Ring "Standards"

• kpwedkk member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  I didn't have a standard for my e-ring.... and I got 0.50 carat  in little stones that were clustered together with 18kt gold as the base.  It costed $500.  I really did want one stone ring, but it grew on me, and it became my wedding ring.  It was the budget that he could afford at the time. 
  
  Though, next time around, I hope that I can get something a litle bit more dazzling, but it really depends on the creativitiy of the guy. 
  
  I would want something that looks good on my hand, and practical. I still have a preference for yellow gold... but platinum is growing one me   I wouldn't want the diamond to be overpowering, so that's the only thing people see!  And I guess I would draw the line as well, if something so small is the same price as a new car, that's not practical at all!

  
  "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  

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• HisBelovedOne

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  My standard was "Not A Diamond and Not Yellow Gold." I got a green tourmaline in a silver ring.
  
  Now it lives in a box in my closet until I have the money to fix it and then find it new home. (I kiiiiinda threw it against the wall when I found out R was still cheating on me and cracked the silver. Oops.)

  

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• temurlang member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  In my circle (so let's say regional but also a certain level of education, etc.), you really only ever see solitaires set in platinum.  I have a couple of friends who have another stone rather than a diamond.  TK was the first time I saw anyone get a halo, but I guess that's really popular everywhere else in the country.
  
  Okay, the controversial money part:
  
  DH thought it should be 20% of his annual income because apparently that's what guys around here say.  I feel that's a wasteful way to spend money (if he had an extra 20% of his income to spend we could get a house a whole lot sooner!  And I think that stone would be too big for daily wear) and tried to put an upper limit on it of $2K lol.  I (obviously) know nothing about jewelry, and I don't know how much DH spent, but my friend who is a jeweler thinks it was $10K.  It was also important to DH that it be platinum, high grade, and noticeable.
  
  My own preferences were emerald cut and nice looking.  I didn't have an idea of size, but I have small hands so the stone didn't need to be so big I couldn't wear it to work.  I don't know about diamonds, so as long as it looked like a good color to me I would be happy lol.  I think it's 1 carat, G, VVS1.  I have no idea how many carats my wedding band is.  I don't wear much jewelry at all, but I think it looks good with everything from formal to yoga clothes.
  
  I think the most important thing is that the guy should be able to afford it and the girl should like the style.  If their expectations are too mismatched there may be other problems.
  

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• Steph818

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  My ring is a little under than a carat but then its a temp ring in which, im MORE than ok with. its a yellow princess cut diamond with tiny diamonds around it. (I don't want a new ring!) I DONT want him spending so much on the ring when there are way more important things to worry about. I didnt have any standards and i certainly dont think there should be. girls should just accept the ring regardless, marriage isnt about the size, cut, clarity, color, etc of the ring. 

  

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• Priya310 member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  I went with him to pick out my ring.  I wanted something beautiful.  We told the jeweler what his budget was and we custom made a ring.  Honestly, I think my ring is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.  I am sure everyone thinks that about their own though.  The middle stone is 1.66 carets and the surrounding stones are about .5 carets. 

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• bunagus member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  I think it's important for the couple to communicate about expectations.  What one person expects is completely different from another.  For example, my fiance and I had decided on a unique engagment ring, no diamond.  He asked how much input I wanted, and I said I trusted him to design something I would like.  The result is simple, but beautiful (platium band with a few small non-diamond stones).  He can afford the large diamond solitaire, so in our case it wasn't an issue of affordability-- I just prefer to spend money on traveling and saving for a home and not on a ring. A couple of my girlfriends, who love diamonds, didn't understand why I wouldn't want a diamond, but appreciated that I preferred something different than the norm.  So if your friend is looking for an engagement ring for his girlfriend, he should either ask her what she likes, or try to find out through a friend.  Based on her preferences, and what he can afford, he can hopefully pick something that she will like.  Ultimately, I think of the engagement ring as a symbol-- it shouldn't need to be X percent of someone's income or a particular size to be meaningful.  It should, however, be something aesthetically pleasing to her so she'll want to wear it every day.  Rings can be very pretty without being really expensive. 

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• raangoli

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  @Bunagus - Welcome to the boards
  
  I agree that it's important to communicate about expectations, but I also agree with Steph that really, the wedding or marriage isn't about the ring, the size, the cut, clarity, etc. It's a stretch too for me to think of it is a symbol of the love that you have for one another.
  
  I also went with MH and looked at rings together. Mostly it was for him to gauge what style of ring I liked. I thought I liked one type, with a pave band, but he liked the solitare look. I actually changed my mind after trying the two types on and have a round solitare. I like the classic look of it. I also don't have a blinged out wedding band (not that there is anything wrong with that) but a plain, platinum band instead. We stayed within his budget, even came in under, and we're both happy.
  
  It seems like we're all about on the same page as one another. Nothing crazy flashy or out of control. I know in NYC the average carat size is probably around 2. I think I would die wearing that knowing how much it cost and like Tem, I think it would be better suited towards a downpayment on a house!
   

  

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• andamu

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  I have friends all over, so I can't say I notice any one trend, but I was definitely influenced most by my mom.  She wears a >2.5 carat diamond, so that has always been my idea of an engagement ring (FWIW, it was a family heirloom). 
  
  When push came to shove, there was no way we could afford anything quite so big and still have impeccable color and clarity, plus a nice setting.  Plus I wanted something different from the colorless princess-cut on a thin band - I have big hands so it looked silly.
  
  I ended up with a 2-carat champagne diamond in a pave Edwardian-style band with about another carat of diamonds (mostly teeny-tiny ones).  It's not perfectly, absolutely eyeclean, but so far no one but me who isn't a jeweler can see the flaw.  We picked it out together.
  
  Some of my friends think it's gorgeous and perfectly normal, and I'm sure other people think it's flashy and big.  FWIW, champagnes are cheaper than colorless, and we bought it at a wholesale price, so it was around 5K, although the appraisal is higher.  I think we spent a normal-to-low amount of money for our circle - we had the savings to buy more but decided not to.  I also didn't buy a band, this is all I wear even post-marriage, so that helped cost-wise.
  
  I'm so, so glad we picked it out together.  His reasoning was that he's not a jewelry expert, that I am supposed to wear this every day, and therefore I should really like it.

  
  

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• smsmth397

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  I personally think you should go for a 1 carat ring. It looks decent enough. The shape is most imporatant, most people prefer round and princess. I personally like Heart Shape. I think you should talk to Raj from http://www.fascinatingdiamonds.com. He is like the guru when it comes to customer satisfaction. Lots of people have written testimonials on the website about him.

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