Hey y'all,
My fiance and I are kind of stuck in this hard place...
We were got engagement in August and will be getting married next August. We were really looking forward to having an engagment party where our families could meet, our bridal party could meet, and we could just enjoy this "engaged" time with everyone before the wedding craziness really sets in. However, my fiance's mother has recently essentially cut us off (she doesn't want to talk about the wedding because he doesn't want to invite HER aunts and uncles and adult cousins whom he has never met and live out of state when we are having a very small ceremony) and shes upset at the both of us because she twisted something that I said back in March, no matter how many times I've explained myself and apologized, she just won't move past it; the only reason she still talks to us is because my fiance still owes her a few more payments on his car. My fiance's father (they are divorced) has already invested a pretty penny into our engagement and we don't feel comfortable asking him to shell out more for an engagment party. My parent's are really busy with their jobs this time of year (my dad works for a seed corn company) and just don't have the time to plan anything.
We were kind of thinking about inviting our families and bridal party over to our house (which is very centrally located between our families that are spread out 6 miles east to west) for a potluck engagement party. We would provide the drinks, meat, and tableware, while we would request everyone bring a side, salad, or dessert. We don't expect any gifts, nor would we ask for anything. We know that potlucks aren't fancy or anything special; we are pretty laid back and we aren't even having a fancy wedding, our ceremony is in the evening and our reception is a casual cake and dance reception only, with no sit down dinner. Our engagement party wouldn't be anything formal, no games or special activities, unless someone else tackles that, it would just be very casual and social.
I keep seeing on here that hosting your own engagment party is considered "rude" and is bad etiquette, but I guess I'm curious if Nebraska spins in a different world than on the coasts and in the big cities on this one. What do you all think? Is hosting your own party terrible, even in the slower lifestyle of the midwest? Is a potluck an awful idea? We need help!!!