Cash bar?

alimg87 · June 2011

My fiance and I don't drink and my dad's side of the family has quite a few recovering alcoholics and we don't want anyone getting drunk at our wedding. My fiance's side of the family does enjoy having a few drinks at parties. And our budget is pretty much at it's limit without having to pay for everyone to drink. We were thinking of having a cash bar, but some people think it's a faux pas so we're not sure what to do. We were at a relative's wedding recently where they had a cash bar and a keg of generic beer that was already paid for. Everyone seemed ok with it, but we don't even have extra money for a keg or two. Until recently we weren't planning on having alcohol at all. Would a cash bar be okay or would we be better off not having alcohol at all? Or go over-budget on a couple kegs- the last thing I'd want to go over budget on.

jess9802 · June 2011

If you've ever been to a bar, you should know that paying for drinks isn't a barrier to drunkenness.

Making your guests pay for any portion of the hospitality you should be providing as a hostess is rude. Your best bet would be to host beer and wine, and cut back on other areas of your budget that don't affect the guests' comfort quite so much (like favors, flowers, etc.). There is an argument that people would prefer a cash bar to no bar. Although I drink, I'm not bothered by a dry wedding and I won't pay for a drink at a wedding, so I don't have a dog in that fight.

Truly though, if your FI's family enjoys having a few drinks at parties, I think you and your FI should make an effort to host something and skip the cash bar idea.

jessicabessica · June 2011

I agree with Jess about everything she said, really. Charging for booze does not prevent people from drinking. If you have truly budgeted your money well in other areas--dress, flowers, DJ/ipod, no favors that will go to waste--then there's not much you can do, and you need to decide if you'd rather have a cash bar or have a dry wedding, both have downsides. If you are spending more money in other areas of your wedding, I would try to shift your budget a bit to at least provide beer and/or wine for your guests.

HYDROPHILE · June 2011

In your situation, I'd be having a dry wedding. Save money on alcohol, and being respectful of recovering alcoholics.

SuMmErKuTiE · June 2011

Please don't have a cash bar, as pp's pointed out people who want to get drunk are going to get drunk whether or not they have to pay for it. Being a good host is offering your guests refreshments free of charge even if you're not partaking yourself. DH and I were so busy at our own wedding that we barely had anything to drink, but we had an open bar for our guests. Just because you don't drink, doesn't mean that none of your guests do.

Being a recovering alcoholic means you need to learn how to be around alcohol without partaking yourself. Anytime they attend a party or go out to eat at a restaurant there will be alcohol served, so your wedding won't be any different.

Try to offer at least beer and wine and maybe a signature drink, you don't have to offer a full open bar. Offering only a few selections free of charge to your guests will cut back a lot compared to offering a full open bar. HTH!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2011

If your crowd likes to drink, it would be thoughtful to provide an option for alcohol. However, if your choice is really cash bar vs no bar, go with a dry wedding.

futurepivko · June 2011

i agree with PPs on the no bar. no bar is better then a cash bar.

nontradduo · June 2011

A cash bar is really unappealing to face at a wedding as a guest. I wouldn't recommend it. It's very likely to leave a worst taste in a partaking guest's mouth than a dry wedding would.
But to me the important point to look at is this: if you and your FI have chosen a dry lifestyle, then your guests shouldn't truly mind, or be surprised, that alcohol isn't present at your wedding. Your wedding isn't just about playing the good host and hostess to those you've invited, it's an expression of who you are as people and who you plan to be as a married couple. As a couple you choose to have no alcohol in your lives, so don't worry about it being at the wedding.

FaithCaitlin · June 2011

I would suggest a dry wedding. There's no sense in going over budget for alcohol and having a cash bar is considered pretty unacceptable.

There are plenty of ways you can have fun, non-alcoholic drinks at your wedding. Check out my planning bio for some ideas!

bangbangshakeit · June 2011

I have a similar question that I'll throw in here for opinions as my fiance and I aren't quite sure how to handle... Our venue has the ability to offer a full bar, but we are chosing to offer beer and wine, as a full cash bar is beyond on budget, and quite honestly I don't see half of the guests even drinking and paying per person for them seems like a waste...

Anyway, should be allow the full bar to remain open in case people want to purchase mixed drinks? Or just ask that only the items we are supplying (beer/wine) be made available.

jessicabessica · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:9a0e6b0c-6892-496b-94f4-cf4104037e01Post:600fae05-297b-4dc7-9412-6feea6856e95">Re: Cash bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a similar question that I'll throw in here for opinions as my fiance and I aren't quite sure how to handle... Our venue has the ability to offer a full bar, but we are chosing to offer beer and wine, as a full cash bar is beyond on budget, and quite honestly I don't see half of the guests even drinking and paying per person for them seems like a waste... Anyway, should be allow the full bar to remain open in case people want to purchase mixed drinks? Or just ask that only the items we are supplying (beer/wine) be made available.
Posted by bangbangshakeit[/QUOTE]

<div>I would just have the hosted beer and wine in your case, that's totally fine. If you can afford to have a signature cocktail, you could do that, too, but not necessary. </div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:9a0e6b0c-6892-496b-94f4-cf4104037e01Post:600fae05-297b-4dc7-9412-6feea6856e95">Re: Cash bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a similar question that I'll throw in here for opinions as my fiance and I aren't quite sure how to handle... Our venue has the ability to offer a full bar, but we are chosing to offer beer and wine, as a full cash bar is beyond on budget, and quite honestly I don't see half of the guests even drinking and paying per person for them seems like a waste... Anyway, should be allow the full bar to remain open in case people want to purchase mixed drinks? Or just ask that only the items we are supplying (beer/wine) be made available.
Posted by bangbangshakeit[/QUOTE]

I would suggest putting a sign at the bar saying, "the following drinks are compliments of the bride and groom" and listing the beer and wine you're providing. Don't mention anything about guests being able to purchase liquor.

We had beer, wine and well drinks on the house at our wedding. If someone wanted Grey Goose, I'm sure they COULD have paid for it, but to my knowledge, everyone was fine with the free offerings. I know my brother asked for a Jameson and they told him they just had the house whiskey for free, so he got that.

alimg87 · June 2011

I really like this point of view. Thank you for sharing! And thank you all for being so polite. I have seen a few of these boards get a little out of control

danielasias · June 2011

The location for our reception has a full service bar, but there is no way that my dad or me are going to pay for everyones alcohol of their liking. I have been to plenty events where people have to pay for their own drinks and people are fine with that, so I really do not see the big deal with it, even if people think it's rude or tacky. It's really not, but I guess it just depends on the culture or area you grew up in. I know no one in my family will think it's rude either.

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