June 2012 Weddings

Vent-Marriage Soapbox!

I had drinks last night with a group of old coworkers and the subject of marriage came up. There was some talk about Obama's support of gay marriage and overall it was not a popular move in the company I was in. I often straddle the fence politically, but on this topic, I feel strongly that gays should have a right to marry and I spoke my opinion. I know too many gay couples who are wonderfully, committed people who love one another and are sharing lives together. As the convo continued, "open" marriage came into the discussion and this, of course, got my blood boiling. Many people sittng at the table said they would not object to an open relationship/marriage and I was shocked. So, in essence, the same people who are ultra conservative about gay marriage want to go liberal for an open marriage!? WTH!? See, this is the problem... Gay marriage isn't destroying the institution of marriage... It's this "open" relationship BS where people want to have multiple partners and swing this way and that. FI and I talked when I got home last night and we could never even think about sharing one another or having any type of open relationship. What is going on with people these days!?

Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!

  • Defiantly a subject I would stay away from with co-workers, could get ugly. The whole open marriage to me is rather disturbing, don't get married in the first place if you are not 100% fully committed to eachother!
    image 220 Are ready to party!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:1247f01a-904f-4e81-a02e-298aca18a7a0">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Defiantly a subject I would stay away from with co-workers, could get ugly. The whole open marriage to me is rather disturbing, don't get married in the first place if you are not 100% fully committed to eachother!
    Posted by melfacto[/QUOTE]

    This exactly. I dont get it.....
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited May 2012
    But how is your judging an open marriage any better than them judging a gay marriage? Why is your definition of marriage better than theirs?

    If two consenting adults wish to enter into a marriage where they can sleep with others, based on rules and boundaries they establish, what effect does it have on your marriage? They are still committed to each other in their eyes.

    Having said that, would I be ok with it? No; I would never enter a marriage where we weren't 100% committed to each other only. But I don't think I have the right to say that they are ruining the institution of marriage because they don't match my definition of it.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:52a235ca-6deb-476f-bd21-69036315e718">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]But I don't think I have the right to say that they are ruining the institution of marriage because they don't match my definition of it.
    Posted by Sabriel14[/QUOTE]

    Ditto!

    Personally, I try to avoid political talk with co-workers...it's just asking for trouble!
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:52a235ca-6deb-476f-bd21-69036315e718">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE] Why is your definition of marriage better than theirs? If two consenting adults wish to enter into a marriage where they can sleep with others, based on rules and boundaries they establish, what effect does it have on your marriage? They are still committed to each other in their eyes. Posted by Sabriel14[/QUOTE]

    It's not that I think my definition is better. I just believe that marriage is a sacred thing. It should be protected and it should be an act for people who love one another and are truly committed to having a life together. Not together with 3 other relationships or sex partners on the side.

    Open relationships, while I don't agree with them, are becoming more accepted. But allowing that type of relationship in a marriage distorts the whole concept of marriage. Gay marriage does not distort marriage or reduce its value of committment. It simply allows two people who love and want to build a life together the opportunity to do so.
  • peachykeen26peachykeen26 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:675b2def-728d-4060-9d0f-2ee9c1449ba0">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox! : It's not that I think my definition is better. I just <strong>believe that marriage is a sacred thing</strong>. It should be protected and it should be an act for people who love one another and are truly committed to having a life together. Not together with 3 other relationships or sex partners on the side. Open relationships, while I don't agree with them, are becoming more accepted. But allowing that type of relationship in a marriage distorts the whole concept of marriage. <strong>Gay marriage does not distort marriage</strong> or reduce its value of committment. It simply allows two people who love and want to build a life together the opportunity to do so.
    Posted by cwill6212[/QUOTE]

    You contradict yourself here.
    Marriage is a sacred thing and according the the Bible, the most sacred and Holy thing besides Jesus Christ Himself defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

    I overall try to stay out of the conversations with co-workers and even friends and family besides FI, and my family all agrees with each other! It's just better to not talk about things like this..
    I agree with Midge... It is no better to judge a homosexual union, a heterosexual union, or an "open" union.

    I am disturbed by open marriages, but I don't go around rubbing my marriage in everyone's face. I don't think other people should do it to me or anyone else.

    NO OFFENSE MEANT TO ANYONE'S PERSONAL BELIEFS!!!!!!!

    First Look
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm fairly liberal and work at a Catholic school, so I definitely try my darndest to stay out of political conversations with my co-workers!  Marriage means so many things to so many people, and it means something different to the church than it does to the government.  I think everyone should be given the same rights (we're all human after all), but I also respect religious establishments for sticking to their beliefs.  However, getting married by the state (having that official paper that lets you file taxes jointly, etc.) and getting married by the church (in the eyes of God) are two different things, and I think people forget that sometimes. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:675b2def-728d-4060-9d0f-2ee9c1449ba0">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox! : It's not that I think my definition is better. I just believe that marriage is a sacred thing. It should be protected and it should be an act for people who love one another and are truly committed to having a life together. Not together with 3 other relationships or sex partners on the side. Open relationships, while I don't agree with them, are becoming more accepted. But allowing that type of relationship in a marriage distorts the whole concept of marriage. Gay marriage does not distort marriage or reduce its value of committment. It simply allows two people who love and want to build a life together the opportunity to do so.
    Posted by cwill6212[/QUOTE]

    But that's my point- your definition of marriage says it's one on one. Not everyone defines their marriage that way. So while open marriages may distort <em>your</em> concept of marriage, it doesn't distort everyone's.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:52a235ca-6deb-476f-bd21-69036315e718">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]But how is your judging an open marriage any better than them judging a gay marriage? Why is your definition of marriage better than theirs? If two consenting adults wish to enter into a marriage where they can sleep with others, based on rules and boundaries they establish, what effect does it have on your marriage? They are still committed to each other in their eyes. Having said that, would I be ok with it? No; I would never enter a marriage where we weren't 100% committed to each other only. But I don't think I have the right to say that they are ruining the institution of marriage because they don't match my definition of it.
    Posted by Sabriel14[/QUOTE]

    I am having a Sacramental marriage so I guess that why I believe in the Sacrament of Matrimony, call it whatever but it's still disturbing to me that you'd marry one and sleep with another, in many areas this is unlawful and grounds for divorce. Anyways, to each their own at the end of the day... I agree my beliefs are mine and may not be others!
    image 220 Are ready to party!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_vent-marriage-soapbox?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7f6ce380-0cec-4357-ba55-cdbc8a479a59Post:28076ab9-f834-4638-a5fc-56a77310801d">Re: Vent-Marriage Soapbox!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm fairly liberal and work at a Catholic school, so I definitely try my darndest to stay out of political conversations with my co-workers!  Marriage means so many things to so many people, and it means something different to the church than it does to the government.  I think everyone should be given the same rights (we're all human after all), but I also respect religious establishments for sticking to their beliefs. <em><strong> However, getting married by the state (having that official paper that lets you file taxes jointly, etc.) and getting married by the church (in the eyes of God) are two different things, and I think people forget that sometimes</strong>. </em>
    Posted by ECOlson[/QUOTE]

    I agree with you on the bolded part.

    First Look
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • There's been some great feedback and discussion here. I was a bit surprised by the discussion last night (and they were former co-workers... i would have kept my mouth tightly closed if they were my current coworkers!) I thought it'd be interesting to see what some brides-to-be would say about the subject, so I appreciate all the comments.
  • I rarely speak of my opinion on this one. I think there are different types of homosexual people and my attitudes towards them and marriage depend which kind we're discussing.
    I think this is one of those topics that people will not be able to simply agree upon. too complicated.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards