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Any ideas on how to honor my deceased sisterr at this wedding??

JenJune3JenJune3
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in Second Weddings
My first wedding my little sister was my maid of honor, she was 18 and I was 22... she died a year and a half later (she was kidnapped and murdered, we found her body 4 days later... very brutal stuff happened...( if you want to see what I mean, google her name, Jodi Sanderholm) Anyways, it's been 3 years now since she died and for this wedding I really want to do something to remember her and remind her that if she was still here she would be right there beside me! We are getting married on the beach, no songs or candles or anything like that, so I'm wondering if you all have any ideas of things I could do to symvolize her being there with me! Thanks!
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Re: Any ideas on how to honor my deceased sisterr at this wedding??

  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Someone here is using a small frame with her dad's pic in it - it attaches to the bridal bouquet.  I am considering the same thing - my dad passed a few months ago.  How about a candle in her honor or a bouquet of flowers?  I am having a pic of my dad and my fiance's late father on display - just a little memorial - nothing creepy or sad.

    So sorry about your sister
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  • JenJune3JenJune3
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    edited December 2011
    Well it's just me and Nick and th ebeach and 7 guests.... no decorations, the only flowers there is going to be my bouquet, no unity candle, nothing like that.... I think the locket frame with the bouquet is a good idea!
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi there, I am so sorry for you loss.  Words do not describe what you've been through; I can't even imagine.

    My husband lost his brother several years before we met due to completed suicide.  In addition, both of my folks have been deceased for 10 years.  Even though it was just the two of us on a beach with the officiant, we wanted some symbol of them being with us.  So the officant read this(sorry in advance for the weird font):

    Those who could not be with us here today, we would like to recognize, that they live on in the hearts of Bridename and Groomname. They are here with us today, if only in our hearts, watching as we celebrate this blessed union. Let us take a few moments to remember and honor Deceased names here, and any other loved ones who are not able to join us today...
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • JenJune3JenJune3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's lovely! Thank you!
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  • pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011



    we are doing a poem and a candle with pictures of the love ones we are honoring.  You could also reserve a chair for her and leave a bouquet that she would have carried if she was in your wedding.  
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I actually did go and google your sister's name and read what happened. My heart goes out to you and all of your family. What unpseakable horror.

    I think the words posted by handfast4me are wonderful and simple. I think carrying a locket is a great idea, as well as the idea of an empty chair. Perhaps we'll have an empty seat or seats at one of the pews with a flower there. I lost my brother over 35 years ago and we will be doing something for him and my fiance's dad.


    I hope you and your fiance can carry on with a happy marriage and wonderful life together.

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  • Monkita13Monkita13
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I plan to carry a locket with my bouquet with a picture of my Daddy. He died eight years ago, and gave me away at my first wedding. I miss terribly and want him to be with me on my wedding day.
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I also love the idea of a locket with her picture attached to your bouquet.
    I am doing this for Fiance. A pic of his deceased father in a tiny round masculine looking round locket type of frame for him to carry in his breast pocket the day of the wedding.

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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMHO ... I believe honoring one's lost relatives is best done with an acknowledgment by the officiant with something like "let us pause to pray for/remember loved ones who have gone before us" or something similar.  That's not quite the wording, but I hope you can tell what I'm striving for.

    My FI and I have lost multiple family members and it would become creepy, I think, to have photos, candles, flowers or other physical "things" to honor them.  That almost calls to mind a wake and makes me shudder.  Yikes!
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