My second wedding, his first, reception?

Re: My second wedding, his first, reception?

• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Welcome Wendy.
  
  You are right, catering is expensive. But generally, when people are "invited" somewhere, especially a wedding, they don't expect to pay to eat. Cash bars are the norm in some areas of the country (New England), but honestly, it's really not right to expect people to pay for their meal.
  
  My recommendation would be to have the wedding and reception you can afford, period. If you cannot afford to feed everyone you want to have there, then cut the list to include just the number you can afford to feed. You can also consider a reception on a Friday night, Sunday afternoon, or "off season", ie winter, when prices are cheaper. Alternatively you can have just a small, short, reception with a few finger foods, no band or DJ (maybe an ipod playing music).
  
  We've been planning our wedding for over 2 years, saving money along the way. We are having the wedding we want, I'm doing a lot of DIY things that I want included, have eliminated some things that other people have, and keeping our list under 100. I could have kept it even smaller, but this is my first wedding (my fiance's 3rd).
  
  To answer your question, I do believe it would be bad manners, but consider all the other options you have. The ladies here are generally gracious and have a lot of ideas.
  
  Good luck.

  Wedding Website and Bio

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• right1thistime member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Do not invite people and expect them to pay for their own meals.  Yes, it's expensive, so save your money and invite the number of guests that you can afford to a setting & event that you can afford. 
  If a meal is too much, have cake and punch for an hour or two at a time when people won't be expecting to eat a meal. 
  Look into a brunch- that may be less expensive.
  Consider a buffet, or catering from the kitchen of a hall (we have an Elks club nearby that caters a ziti & sauce, salad and roll meal for < $10 a person - not fancy, but good food.)
  You will still be just as married if you invite ONLY the people you mentioned in your post to the wedding and reception.  If you cannot afford anyone else, don't invite anyone else.
  
  Another option is to have an informal at home reception (BBQ style, for example) at another time to share your joy with a larger group. ~Donna

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• WendyCB member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  thanks for the input Ruled this option completely out!

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• AbbeyS2011 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  First of all, congrats on your upcoming wedding!
  
  When FH and I started planning our wedding, I gave him two options:  1)have a 5 pm ceremony and serve dinner at the reception, or 2) have a 2 pm ceremony and serve heavy apps.  He liked the 2 pm idea better.  We can still host our guests properly, but at a lower cost to us. 

  

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