Hindu Temple and Catholic Church in North/Central NJ or Long Island?

Re: Hindu Temple and Catholic Church in North/Central NJ or Long Island?

• raangoli

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  I was going to suggest the two mandirs that you mentioned above. Are you just looking for others to see whether they have the availability you'd like or you want to choose the mandir based on proximity to a church?
  
  Also, I was wondering how you were going to be married in a catholic church if you are hindu? I was under the impression that the cathloic church only recognizes/will marry two catholics and that there is a "waiting" period and you have to take precana classes, etc?
  
  (I ask because my fiance is also catholic and we want to honor both my religion and his, but since I am not catholic, we can't get married in a church. So we were thinking of finding a non-denominational minster to perform the traditional "american" wedding vows.)
  

  

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• dublintomadras

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  Raangoli, you can absolutely get married in the Catholic church if one of you isn't Catholic.  I am Catholic and my husband is not and there are a bunch of Catholic/non-Catholic couples in the South Asian bio.  We had to do pre-cana and we had to sign something promising that we'd raise our children Catholic (we had agreed to this as my husband is basically nonreligious and I care more about what faith our children are).  The only real restriction is that most interfaith couples can't have a full mass (with communion).  Some priests make exceptions, though, and knottie NicoleKrish had a full mass even though her husband is Hindu.
  
  Getting married in the church requires a lot of different steps and you have to go into it with the mentality that getting married in the church is really important to both of you.  That said, Cheathat, your best bet is to find a church that your FI has ties to.  Is he from the NJ or NY area?  Does he have family members that are memebers of a parish?  Although it makes exceptions, the church usually requires you to be a member -- and live in the parish -- to get married there.  We got married in my childhood Catholic church, though, even though we don't live near it (or even in the same state!) and my family has since moved to a different area.  The priest at my old church was really welcoming. 
  
  If I were you, Cheathat, I'd probably pick a church first just because I think you might have more problems finding a Catholic priest than you will a temple.
  
  Another thing to consider: You could do an interfaith ceremony at the temple.  Our Catholic priest said he could co-officiate our Hindu ceremony and do the vows, some readings and things like that.  We thought about that for a little bit, but then I realized I really wanted to get married in my childhood church, wear a white dress, etc., etc.  We ended up having two ceremonies -- Catholic wedding on Saturday and Hindu wedding on Sunday -- and it was really the best for us.  Plus, our Hindu priest barely spoke a lick of English, so I can't imagine how the whole co-officiating thing would have worked out, anyway!
  
  I don't really check the Knot anymore, so if you have any further questions, you can email me at dublintomadras at gmail dot com.
  
  Good luck, ladies!

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• NCJW member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Hi there,
  
  We have faced a TON of challenges finding a Catholic priest who will marry us, which has been a  big bummer.  I am ok getting married in the Catholic church as long as I don't have to convert or promise that my children have to be raised Catholic (we are still working on sorting out the religion issue).  Anyhow, my fiance has to promise to "do his best to raise his children Catholic), but he doesn't have to necessarily promise to raise them Catholic.  The Catholic priests we have met with haven't been very warm in talking to us...no one we have met yet as seemed excited about the prospect of marrying us.  The search continues for a Catholic priest, but we have found an excellent, open minded Hindu priest in Hicksville, Long Island for the Hindu ceremony. 
  
  Good luck to you!
  

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• ESJ'sBride

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I also barely come on theknot anymore.  NCJW-  I am a Hindu woman who married a Catholic man in a Catholic church in Queens,NY.  Our Hindu ceremony was at our reception hall the same day - Church ceremony at 1pm and Hindu ceremony at 5pm.  Guests had 3 hours to grab lunch and transport themselves in between while our families and bridal party took pictures and regrouped.
  
  We had to do an interfaith pre-cana and my husband only had to promise to 'do his best' to raise our future children in the Catholic faith.  We have the best of intentions to expose them to both faiths.
  
  In hindsight I am truly glad that we rented a beautiful Mandap and had a Hindu priest come from Flushing Temple, NY.  It made things so much easier for the guests to not have to drive to 3 locations and it made it much easier on us too.  In Hinduism- God truly is everywhere, and so a marriage union is blessed anywhere it occurs. 
  
  I wish you the best of luck and please know that it can work and does work!

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• NCJW member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks for your message.  Can you tell me where you rented your mandap?

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• megsandnimish member

  

  July 2010 edited December 2011

  MY sister found a former catholic priest that was married now.  He could do an outdoor ceremony - but not in a church.

  
  

  Check out the Mahwah temple - it's 

  gorgeous - beautioful layout and wood floors.  huge space for weddings.

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